Indian girls and being chaperoned?

[Anonymous]

I agree, the nationality of the child does not matter. Is there any way for this one girl to be on a different team? It seems that the constraints the parents would like to place on the rest of the team members will make it difficult for the team to work in the way it is meant to. Or, in the alternative, is there another team for your son?

If this is a team effort, it doesn't seem appropriate for one set of parents to set out different rules than the Olympiad rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP,

I don't understand why PPs are accusing you of racism and not actually acknowledging that there is a significant logistical and possibly safety issue here (not allowing parent coaches inside the house). The parents trying to change the rules of these teams are being extremely rude, in my opinion. And I'm a foreigner myself - I'm not racist towards a particular group.

I haven't experienced this with my kids, so hopefully other PPs will chime in with helpful advice. My children are younger and so far we've only had supervised playdates with DD's friends who have Indian heritage.

Because the "significant logistical and possibly safety issue" should not be attributed to the ethnic group but to this family. And OP is racist for attempting to do this. And ridiculous because she posts here instead if raising it with the family or teacher.

[Anonymous]

I know a white girl who has the same restrictions. Some parents are very strict and have extremely strict rules.

Following OP's logic, all white girls must have very strict parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP,

I don't understand why PPs are accusing you of racism and not actually acknowledging that there is a significant logistical and possibly safety issue here (not allowing parent coaches inside the house). The parents trying to change the rules of these teams are being extremely rude, in my opinion. And I'm a foreigner myself - I'm not racist towards a particular group.

I haven't experienced this with my kids, so hopefully other PPs will chime in with helpful advice. My children are younger and so far we've only had supervised playdates with DD's friends who have Indian heritage.

Because the "significant logistical and possibly safety issue" should not be attributed to the ethnic group but to this family. And OP is racist for attempting to do this. And ridiculous because she posts here instead if raising it with the family or teacher.

Come on, you guys are being ridiculous. OP is posting about this issue because within the span of more than a decade, she has experienced this only with Indian parents. So it definitely makes sense to mention it in her description, because she is asking herself whether there is a cultural thing here - I would too, in her shoes. The only reason you find this unbelievable is that you haven't experienced it yourself. However, this does not make her post racist!

Or perhaps there is one angry poster sock-puppetting this thread.

[Anonymous]

Come on, you guys are being ridiculous. OP is posting about this issue because within the span of more than a decade, she has experienced this only with Indian parents. So it definitely makes sense to mention it in her description, because she is asking herself whether there is a cultural thing here - I would too, in her shoes. The only reason you find this unbelievable is that you haven't experienced it yourself. However, this does not make her post racist!

Or perhaps there is one angry poster sock-puppetting this thread.

She is asking whether there is a cultural thing here, and about 10 different posts have said that there is not. You and OP (if you're not OP sock puppeting support for herself) have a comprehension problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Come on, you guys are being ridiculous. OP is posting about this issue because within the span of more than a decade, she has experienced this only with Indian parents. So it definitely makes sense to mention it in her description, because she is asking herself whether there is a cultural thing here - I would too, in her shoes. The only reason you find this unbelievable is that you haven't experienced it yourself. However, this does not make her post racist!

Or perhaps there is one angry poster sock-puppetting this thread.

She is asking whether there is a cultural thing here, and about 10 different posts have said that there is not. You and OP (if you're not OP sock puppeting support for herself) have a comprehension problem.

OP here: this makes the solution very easy. This is no SO, but a different, highly competitive team where over 200 kids tried out for about 20 slots. There is a significant wait list. There are strict practice attendance requirements, or the child is replaced on the team. I had thought perhaps there were cultural issues I was unaware of that we're making setting up practices difficult. And wondering whether there was something I could do to make it easier to set up a rotation of practices possible. But, since I am apparently dealing with a difficult parent instead, we will just go with a standard rotation of meeting sites (like all the other subteams), with the parent-coaches present, rather than trying to accommodate IG. If she does not attend practice, we can just refer her to be replaced. Thanks!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, the nationality of the child does not matter. Is there any way for this one girl to be on a different team? It seems that the constraints the parents would like to place on the rest of the team members will make it difficult for the team to work in the way it is meant to. Or, in the alternative, is there another team for your son?

If this is a team effort, it doesn't seem appropriate for one set of parents to set out different rules than the Olympiad rules.

I agree with this poster. This family's rules, regardless of their ethnicity, seem like an undue imposition on the rest of the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Come on, you guys are being ridiculous. OP is posting about this issue because within the span of more than a decade, she has experienced this only with Indian parents. So it definitely makes sense to mention it in her description, because she is asking herself whether there is a cultural thing here - I would too, in her shoes. The only reason you find this unbelievable is that you haven't experienced it yourself. However, this does not make her post racist!

Or perhaps there is one angry poster sock-puppetting this thread.

She is asking whether there is a cultural thing here, and about 10 different posts have said that there is not. You and OP (if you're not OP sock puppeting support for herself) have a comprehension problem.

OP here: this makes the solution very easy. This is no SO, but a different, highly competitive team where over 200 kids tried out for about 20 slots. There is a significant wait list. There are strict practice attendance requirements, or the child is replaced on the team. I had thought perhaps there were cultural issues I was unaware of that we're making setting up practices difficult. And wondering whether there was something I could do to make it easier to set up a rotation of practices possible. But, since I am apparently dealing with a difficult parent instead, we will just go with a standard rotation of meeting sites (like all the other subteams), with the parent-coaches present, rather than trying to accommodate IG. If she does not attend practice, we can just refer her to be replaced. Thanks!!

I'm the poster who was defending you. I think you're right in the sense that these parents are placing an undue burden on other parents without the standard type of exemption (religion, special needs, anaphylactic allergy, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Come on, you guys are being ridiculous. OP is posting about this issue because within the span of more than a decade, she has experienced this only with Indian parents. So it definitely makes sense to mention it in her description, because she is asking herself whether there is a cultural thing here - I would too, in her shoes. The only reason you find this unbelievable is that you haven't experienced it yourself. However, this does not make her post racist!

Or perhaps there is one angry poster sock-puppetting this thread.

She is asking whether there is a cultural thing here, and about 10 different posts have said that there is not. You and OP (if you're not OP sock puppeting support for herself) have a comprehension problem.

OP here: this makes the solution very easy. This is no SO, but a different, highly competitive team where over 200 kids tried out for about 20 slots. There is a significant wait list. There are strict practice attendance requirements, or the child is replaced on the team. I had thought perhaps there were cultural issues I was unaware of that we're making setting up practices difficult. And wondering whether there was something I could do to make it easier to set up a rotation of practices possible. But, since I am apparently dealing with a difficult parent instead, we will just go with a standard rotation of meeting sites (like all the other subteams), with the parent-coaches present, rather than trying to accommodate IG. If she does not attend practice, we can just refer her to be replaced. Thanks!!

You've already been told it's not cultural across the board. So tend to the situation as if it were any girl- white, black, whatever- with very strict parents. Talk to the parents.

Clearly that simple answer is not what you wish to hear though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, the nationality of the child does not matter. Is there any way for this one girl to be on a different team? It seems that the constraints the parents would like to place on the rest of the team members will make it difficult for the team to work in the way it is meant to. Or, in the alternative, is there another team for your son?

If this is a team effort, it doesn't seem appropriate for one set of parents to set out different rules than the Olympiad rules.

I agree with this poster. This family's rules, regardless of their ethnicity, seem like an undue imposition on the rest of the team.

+2. This family's rules are not amenable to their DD participating. It's on them. BTW, I'm Indian-American growing up in the 1970s-80s, and I've never heard of anyone among our ethnic cohort with similar rules. I did see something similar but not so extreme with some very religious families of various religions, and sadly, families with domineering fathers.

[Anonymous]

OP, the fact that you refer to the girl in question as "Indian Girl" shows us that her ethnicity is the only aspect of her character that you see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP,

I don't understand why PPs are accusing you of racism and not actually acknowledging that there is a significant logistical and possibly safety issue here (not allowing parent coaches inside the house). The parents trying to change the rules of these teams are being extremely rude, in my opinion. And I'm a foreigner myself - I'm not racist towards a particular group.

I haven't experienced this with my kids, so hopefully other PPs will chime in with helpful advice. My children are younger and so far we've only had supervised playdates with DD's friends who have Indian heritage.

Omg , pls don't bring the "racist" word into this. Agree Op was sharing an observation that's all. Honestly I find thus behavior strange, being an Indian mom myself. Hopefully it's a small group acting this weird. I haven't come across anyone so rigid and conservative TBH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the fact that you refer to the girl in question as "Indian Girl" shows us that her ethnicity is the only aspect of her character that you see.

OP here and referring to her as an Indian girl is a way to shorthand on an Iphone, when we are talking about her gender and ethnicity as part of the question. I have only met her once briefly, so I know almost nothing else about her, except that she apparently good at this team activity and has annoying PITA helicopter parents. Not her fault, but definitely her most distinct feature. Henceforth, she shall be helicopter girl (HG). Is is a better moniker. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I know of 4 white girls who were sleeping around in MS. One of them actually got pregnant in MS (MCPS MS). What conclusion should I draw from it about White MS girls? What conclusion should I draw about their parents, their culture, their home life?

OP, do you see how ridiculous generalizations are? You seem to be a narrow minded person, who cannot respect individual differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, the nationality of the child does not matter. Is there any way for this one girl to be on a different team? It seems that the constraints the parents would like to place on the rest of the team members will make it difficult for the team to work in the way it is meant to. Or, in the alternative, is there another team for your son?

If this is a team effort, it doesn't seem appropriate for one set of parents to set out different rules than the Olympiad rules.

I agree with this poster. This family's rules, regardless of their ethnicity, seem like an undue imposition on the rest of the team.

+2. This family's rules are not amenable to their DD participating. It's on them. BTW, I'm Indian-American growing up in the 1970s-80s, and I've never heard of anyone among our ethnic cohort with similar rules. I did see something similar but not so extreme with some very religious families of various religions, and sadly, families with domineering fathers.

+3 Not amenable.