Brother wants to bring his dogs here for Thanksgiving...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's tough to say no since they let you take your dogs to their house. But, will they even come if you say no? Is it better for them to come with their dogs or to not come at all? [/quote

This is the 3rd year in a row I have said no to their dogs - and they, for some reason, continue to be surprised and hurt by this response. Prior to 3 years ago, we went to Ohio every year for 8 years for Tgiving. 3 years ago we invited them here and they caved on the dog thing and left their dogs with a friend. Last year WE caved and went to Ohio again. This year we invited them again and once again we are going through the same drill. We continue to ask if w can bring our dog to their house when we travel there, and they always say yes (big difference: our dog doesn't have accidents and we only have 1 dog). If they ever said no, I would understand. I don't know if they will come this year or if we will cave and go there again. I hate that we have to keep doing this - it's like Groundhogs Day!

[Anonymous]

suck it up a little chaos is good at thanksgiving. but make him clean the accidents up

[Anonymous]

I was also with OP until she said they always welcome your dog. You need to reciprocate or stop taking you dog (and I don't care that it's on the way to your IL's house).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the shit out of dogs and am often that person at a party on the floor playing with the one dog there.

But you need to say no and stay firm on that. Your loyalty is to the members of your household, including your own pets, and your house, including your carpets.

They can't bring their pets, sorry. And you need to stay firm so they stop asking every day.

By your logic, OP''s Brother and Sister-in-law should have loyalties to their house, their pets and refuse the invitation since their dogs are not allowed. IMHO, OP is being difficult, don't screw up your FAMILY over DOGS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also with OP until she said they always welcome your dog. You need to reciprocate or stop taking you dog (and I don't care that it's on the way to your IL's house).

Million x this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was also with OP until she said they always welcome your dog. You need to reciprocate or stop taking you dog (and I don't care that it's on the way to your IL's house).

Million x this.

That and her brother's visit is only 1-2 nights. It is not really that big a deal, is it?

[Anonymous]

This is OP again. The consensus seems to be that because they allow me to bring my 1 dog (who doesn't pee/poop in the house) to their house, that I should allow them to bring their two peeing/pooping dogs to my house. Again, I think it's nice that they continue to allow us to bring our dog, even after I have not allowed them to bring their dogs, but if the trade off is that I have to allow their dogs in my house - then I will no longer ask to bring my dog to their house. Seems to be what people are saying, right?

And I don't get the person that says I'm ruining Thanksgiving over dogs. The way I see it - my brother is the one doing that.

I guess it shows that I'm a cat person. I just don't get this dog business.

[Anonymous]

Get some crates on craigslist and crate them whenever you are not watching them. "Sure, we'd be happy to have fido and fluffy! We just steam cleaned the carpets so we'd prefer to have the dogs outside or in a crate when you aren't able to watch them, but they're welcome to come join the festivities".

Else, you need to stop bringing your dog to their house.

[Anonymous]

Stay consistent, OP.

Keep saying no, unless you want to have to welcome these dogs to your home ever after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. The consensus seems to be that because they allow me to bring my 1 dog (who doesn't pee/poop in the house) to their house, that I should allow them to bring their two peeing/pooping dogs to my house. Again, I think it's nice that they continue to allow us to bring our dog, even after I have not allowed them to bring their dogs, but if the trade off is that I have to allow their dogs in my house - then I will no longer ask to bring my dog to their house. Seems to be what people are saying, right?

And I don't get the person that says I'm ruining Thanksgiving over dogs. The way I see it - my brother is the one doing that.

I guess it shows that I'm a cat person. I just don't get this dog business.

I think it also shows that you just wanted to come on here and have people agree with you. Your cats are completely irrelevant to the scenario presented. What is relevant is that you bring your dog to their house, but refuse to reciprocate. Frankly I find it a little tough to believe that they have two dogs who have multiple daily accidents in the house. Who would want that on a continuing basis? Pick the room in your house that has tile, vinyl, linoleum, whatever, and gate them into that room.

You are being difficult and self centered, not your brother.

[Anonymous]

You are not being unreasonable. It is cruel to the dogs to bring them into such a disruptive foreign environment for such a short time. What a dumb idea. They should put them in a kennel at their home.

[Anonymous]

OP, say no and stand firm. If you don't want their dogs in your house, that's your right.

Quite honestly, I find people who cannot travel without their dogs to be thoroughly ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not being unreasonable. It is cruel to the dogs to bring them into such a disruptive foreign environment for such a short time. What a dumb idea. They should put them in a kennel at their home.

That is by far a more "disruptive, foreign environment". At the relatives' house their family is with them and presumably routines are similar (walks, food, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. The consensus seems to be that because they allow me to bring my 1 dog (who doesn't pee/poop in the house) to their house, that I should allow them to bring their two peeing/pooping dogs to my house. Again, I think it's nice that they continue to allow us to bring our dog, even after I have not allowed them to bring their dogs, but if the trade off is that I have to allow their dogs in my house - then I will no longer ask to bring my dog to their house. Seems to be what people are saying, right?

And I don't get the person that says I'm ruining Thanksgiving over dogs. The way I see it - my brother is the one doing that.

I guess it shows that I'm a cat person. I just don't get this dog business.

I think it also shows that you just wanted to come on here and have people agree with you. Your cats are completely irrelevant to the scenario presented. What is relevant is that you bring your dog to their house, but refuse to reciprocate. Frankly I find it a little tough to believe that they have two dogs who have multiple daily accidents in the house. Who would want that on a continuing basis? Pick the room in your house that has tile, vinyl, linoleum, whatever, and gate them into that room.

You are being difficult and self centered, not your brother.

Actually, no, I didn't want to get people to agree with me. I honestly thought I was being more reasonable, and wanted to find out if that were true - but it seems that the majority opinion is that I'm being unreasonable. I accept that. It doesn't change my mind about what I'm doing. It helps me to know that there are plenty of people that support my brother's view and it helps me know where he's coming from.

And yes, honestly, they don't walk their dogs. EVER. They just let them in their yard sometimes. I know it's hard to believe, but they seriously have multiple accidents every day. It's really disgusting. FWIW, my dad (knowing the dogs' habits) has said he wouldn't want them at his house either - if that lends any credit to my claim.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want dogs who still have accidents in my house either. (Nor would I take my dog to their house even if it was offered.) This is also a reason not to have carpet - but that is a topic for another thread. (I Hate Carpet - AMA!)

Considering that they are small, I wonder if they are used to going inside on piddle pads. My friend has two small yorkies and this is what they do. Perhaps a solution can be found around that. However, you all also need to take into account that it with all those people and extra animals, it will likely make all the animals more nervous and prone to accidents/acting out.

Maybe have a conversation with your brother and lay it out. You don't like dogs who pee/poo on carpet in your house. Is there a solution to that? Has he considered that the additional activity will make them more accident prone? If the dogs do have multiple accidents - what is he willing to do to address that? (Aside from clean it himself) And reinforce that you're not trying to be a jerk but that you'd like to enjoy the holiday too.