If you married into money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who married into money how did you meet your spouse?

I'm the one who is engaged. We met at a party, on the balcony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into money. I was welcomed into the family with open arms. They have been nothing but loving and have found the perfect balance everyone hopes to have from their in-laws, between being supportive yet not overly involved.

The only trouble I have had was self-inflected. I was so stressed about our families meeting, but I quickly got over it, let go of it, and everything was fine.

We get along very well, have interesting conversations, and I can fit in where ever we are (around their highly educated and accomplished friends, on their yacht, etc.). I just had to let go of my own insecurities to be able to enjoy it. People are people, regardless of economic status.

+1 my rich in laws are the most generous accepting people I have ever met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who married into money how did you meet your spouse?

At a conference, he was a business owner and I was a sales rep. Was supposed to be a one night stand as we were out of town but 12 years and 2 kids later we're still awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So any men marry into money or is it always women marrying up?

My husband married into money (me). My family is extremely unassuming though (my father made all the money, so its not like we are some blue blood multi generational snobby family….my Dad and Mom both grew up very poor and my Dad got extremely wealthy).

For the most part it never comes up. My husband is a proud guy though, and at times I think that he feels a little weird getting my annual disbursement (gifting) from my parent
s, which my parents pay to both he and I (so it's $56K). It feels like a handout to him, which we don't need, but it's really just a way of allocating assets for my parent's. We have an annual meeting going through the trusts, our kids trusts etc, and I think that he feels a bit awkward, though grateful, too. It's hard to explain. I think that it is different for a man than it is a woman, though I can't say exactly why. It hits his pride maybe in a different way.I don't know that I'm explaining it well. Like the PP mentioned said, it totally is a great bonus and surprise (I knew my Dad had done well, but because my parents had lived so "normally" I had no idea about my trust until I was 25. My husband didn't know about it until we were engaged.) It allowed me to give up a lucrative career and stay home with my kids, which I wanted to do. It makes live easy, which like PP is simply luck and I am very grateful for. So is my husband, who works hard and knows that we are really lucky.

[Anonymous]

I agree marrying into money is different for men & women. My brother-in-law has always been uncomfortable with the situation. I think he knows he should be grateful but doesn't want to feel like he couldn't be The Provider. MIL got BIL his first real job and his career wouldn't have started from that higher rung on the ladder without her help.

The issue that rolls around my head all the time is - how do we impart the work ethic to our kids? I worked my ass off out of college and got a Master's knowing that there was no family back-up plan. Without the pain of real struggle, how can you appreciate the rewards? Stay hungry, my friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am engaged to a very wealthy man. We have been dating since my senior year in high school. His parents definitely know we are in love and I am not with him for his (or their) money.

Honestly the difficult part was moving in together. He thought nothing of being rough with things because if they broke, he could just have someone buy a new one. He thought nothing of throwing out food if there was a little left. He'd never flown coach; I'd never flown at all.

So working out those things was really hard. Some of his friends are rich assholes but he is getting better at seeing that and distancing himself or calling them out on it. I think some of his extended family wonders about me/us but at this point most of them know me so hopefully they know the truth.

TONS of class differences. We work on it.

How old are the both of you?

[Anonymous]

I know 3 men who married into money.
One is rather sour and depressed. he is always trying to make his wife working class.
One is a very handsome athlete who plays the role f the rich guy -- they have been together 20+ years
One is a serious work a holic who joined NY society and is all that. He is the head of a law firm. I always wonder why?

[Anonymous]

People in DC are obsessed with money. Move to a lower cost of living city if you don't have money, and you will be happier. You won't have to live around or feel less than. You can afford a very comfortable life somewhere else. DC, NYC, San Francisco, are not worth the money.

[Anonymous]

Does marrying a doctor count? We both grew up blue collar. Now he makes $200,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does marrying a doctor count? We both grew up blue collar. Now he makes $200,000.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does marrying a doctor count? We both grew up blue collar. Now he makes $200,000. [/quote

200,000 is not a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know 3 men who married into money.
One is rather sour and depressed. he is always trying to make his wife working class.
One is a very handsome athlete who plays the role f the rich guy -- they have been together 20+ years
One is a serious work a holic who joined NY society and is all that. He is the head of a law firm. I always wonder why?

Many, many lawyers love the law and they are workaholics because they find satisfaction in it. OTOH, others are a bit OCD and would have been workaholics in other professions.