S/O How old for Instagram?

[Anonymous]

At least 13. Allowing your kid to lie and violate TOS is a really bad message. They will think they won't need to follow rules if they don't want to.

Not to mention all the social issues she isn't ready for.

Parents really need to do the right thing even if others aren't. Teach the right lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is so foreign to me. My 11 year old doesn't even have a regular way to access instagram. (even if he wanted to)

He doesn't get that much time on the family computer, and when he does tends to use that time for homework and composing music. I don't know when he'd have time for instagram. I'm assuming I'll need to get him a phone sometime before high school, and in high school he'll probably need his own laptop. Then I suppose he can check out things like instagram, but even then I can't imagine him being really into it.

I can imagine my daughter being into it though. I suppose we'll wait til 13.

OP here. Thanks for all the responses. To the PP, above, I have older boys and they were just like your son - not at all interested in IG, FB, etc. So this is all new to me with my daughter, who is completely different. She's very social and wants IG because all her friends talk about it and she feels excluded. So I can completely understand the longing for it, just not sure I want to go down that road. Not being 13 is a big sticking point for me, even though I know that makes me the uncool mom. Haven't quite decided what to do yet, but thanks for all the opinions and advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is so foreign to me. My 11 year old doesn't even have a regular way to access instagram. (even if he wanted to)

He doesn't get that much time on the family computer, and when he does tends to use that time for homework and composing music. I don't know when he'd have time for instagram. I'm assuming I'll need to get him a phone sometime before high school, and in high school he'll probably need his own laptop. Then I suppose he can check out things like instagram, but even then I can't imagine him being really into it.

I can imagine my daughter being into it though. I suppose we'll wait til 13.

OP here. Thanks for all the responses. To the PP, above, I have older boys and they were just like your son - not at all interested in IG, FB, etc. So this is all new to me with my daughter, who is completely different. She's very social and wants IG because all her friends talk about it and she feels excluded. So I can completely understand the longing for it, just not sure I want to go down that road. Not being 13 is a big sticking point for me, even though I know that makes me the uncool mom. Haven't quite decided what to do yet, but thanks for all the opinions and advice.

If your daughter is hanging out with 11yr olds that have Instagram accounts she is hanging out with the kids that push their age, show no boundaries, get in trouble and have parents that just always shrug their shoulders. Tread carefully on letting her because her other friends have them. There are MANY MANY 11yr olds that absolutely do not have Instagram accounts, let alone phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least 13. Allowing your kid to lie and violate TOS is a really bad message. They will think they won't need to follow rules if they don't want to.

Not to mention all the social issues she isn't ready for.

Parents really need to do the right thing even if others aren't. Teach the right lesson.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you really going to wait until her 13th birthday to allow her to have an account? Or will you cave when she is 12? You realize that by the time she turns 13, all her friends will have hundreds of followers and she will appear to be unpopular because she has so few followers. You have to ask yourself if you are going to truly hold out for another two years. If not, just let her have it now and monitor the account. You can have the app on your phone signed in as her and see everything.

OMG. So it's okay for you to let your kid break the law because all of the other kids are doing it and you don't want her to seem unpopular? Wow. Parenting fail right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least 13. Allowing your kid to lie and violate TOS is a really bad message. They will think they won't need to follow rules if they don't want to.

Not to mention all the social issues she isn't ready for.

Parents really need to do the right thing even if others aren't. Teach the right lesson.

+1

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least 13. Allowing your kid to lie and violate TOS is a really bad message. They will think they won't need to follow rules if they don't want to.

Not to mention all the social issues she isn't ready for.

Parents really need to do the right thing even if others aren't. Teach the right lesson.

Different people think different things are the right things to do. You understand that, right? And my kid is not so simple-minded as to think everything is black and white - she knows you need to think about WHY things are rules and laws. There USED to be a rule that black people had to sit in the back of a bus, and give up their seat to white people. Everyone blindly followed that until someone finally said "There's no good reason for this. Let's change it; I'll start." I could give five hundred more examples. Just because my 12 yr old uses Instagram, it doesn't mean she's taking molly and cutting school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look we can all talk a big game about waiting until 13, but that is not the reality these days. I have heard many a parent say they don't allow it, and then see their kids acct.

By the time they are 13, their friends will have been on for years. Supervise an acct closely now because hopefully they will listen to your advice. Down the road, it won't be as big a deal to them as if it was the forbidden fruit. Ymmv depending on your kid's personality and friend group.

Nice. You'll be the mom who lets her kids have alcohol parties because all the other kids are drinking at 17, too, right? And have sex at home at 15 because it's safer than the backseat, right?

[Anonymous]

My daughter got hers a few weeks before her 13th birthday. It's not been a huge deal; she mostly follows friends. I follow her (one of the requirements I set forth when she made the account) and she has it on private. Most of her friends got it around 7th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least 13. Allowing your kid to lie and violate TOS is a really bad message. They will think they won't need to follow rules if they don't want to.

Not to mention all the social issues she isn't ready for.

Parents really need to do the right thing even if others aren't. Teach the right lesson.

Different people think different things are the right things to do. You understand that, right? And my kid is not so simple-minded as to think everything is black and white - she knows you need to think about WHY things are rules and laws. There USED to be a rule that black people had to sit in the back of a bus, and give up their seat to white people. Everyone blindly followed that until someone finally said "There's no good reason for this. Let's change it; I'll start." I could give five hundred more examples. Just because my 12 yr old uses Instagram, it doesn't mean she's taking molly and cutting school.

So you're framing a web site's legal terms of service as a CIVIL RIGHTS issue? Seriously? NO. It's really simple. This is a site that has very clear, very specific rules for members. Members must be 13. If your child is not 13, you are teaching him/her that it is okay to lie and to violate someone else's rules for their space. It's a really, really destructive lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imo if you have to lie to get something, it isn't worth having. Teach her integrity.

Thank you to the other parents on here who value honesty and integrity and are teaching it to their kids.

[Anonymous]

My 11 year old has an account - but I signed up for her using my email - so technically it is my account. I monitor it daily to check what she is posting and to educate her about what is an appropriate post and an inappropriate one. I have told her to take down a couple of posts.

Yes, technically it is breaking the law - but I feel this is a good way to teach her to be internet savvy - if I wait until she is 13, I will have less control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is so foreign to me. My 11 year old doesn't even have a regular way to access instagram. (even if he wanted to)

He doesn't get that much time on the family computer, and when he does tends to use that time for homework and composing music. I don't know when he'd have time for instagram. I'm assuming I'll need to get him a phone sometime before high school, and in high school he'll probably need his own laptop. Then I suppose he can check out things like instagram, but even then I can't imagine him being really into it.

I can imagine my daughter being into it though. I suppose we'll wait til 13.

OP here. Thanks for all the responses. To the PP, above, I have older boys and they were just like your son - not at all interested in IG, FB, etc. So this is all new to me with my daughter, who is completely different. She's very social and wants IG because all her friends talk about it and she feels excluded. So I can completely understand the longing for it, just not sure I want to go down that road. Not being 13 is a big sticking point for me, even though I know that makes me the uncool mom. Haven't quite decided what to do yet, but thanks for all the opinions and advice.

If your daughter is hanging out with 11yr olds that have Instagram accounts she is hanging out with the kids that push their age, show no boundaries, get in trouble and have parents that just always shrug their shoulders. Tread carefully on letting her because her other friends have them. There are MANY MANY 11yr olds that absolutely do not have Instagram accounts, let alone phones.

I mostly agree with this. Doesn't mean the kids are bad or that their parents are uncaring, but they're definitely being allowed to tread in deeper waters and take more risks. When DD was in 5th grade, I heard lots of drama stemming from kids on instagram. She runs with a slower crowd, which certainly makes my life easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least 13. Allowing your kid to lie and violate TOS is a really bad message. They will think they won't need to follow rules if they don't want to.

Not to mention all the social issues she isn't ready for.

Parents really need to do the right thing even if others aren't. Teach the right lesson.

Different people think different things are the right things to do. You understand that, right? And my kid is not so simple-minded as to think everything is black and white - she knows you need to think about WHY things are rules and laws. There USED to be a rule that black people had to sit in the back of a bus, and give up their seat to white people. Everyone blindly followed that until someone finally said "There's no good reason for this. Let's change it; I'll start." I could give five hundred more examples. Just because my 12 yr old uses Instagram, it doesn't mean she's taking molly and cutting school.

So you're framing a web site's legal terms of service as a CIVIL RIGHTS issue? Seriously? NO. It's really simple. This is a site that has very clear, very specific rules for members. Members must be 13. If your child is not 13, you are teaching him/her that it is okay to lie and to violate someone else's rules for their space. It's a really, really destructive lesson.

I think it IS okay to lie sometimes. White lies are a valuable thing in social situations. This is a lie that doesn't hurt anybody. DD uses the site just as responsibly as I do. It's a RULE, not a law. And my point was not to compare Instagram to civil rights, but to say that rules and laws should not be blindly followed. I know 11 yr olds that are much more mature than some 14 yr olds. I think it would make MUCH more sense to make people take a test before their account is approved. That would deal with the maturity factor. But regardless - we can agree to disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You realize that by the time she turns 13, all her friends will have hundreds of followers and she will appear to be unpopular because she has so few followers. You have to ask yourself if you are going to truly hold out for another two years.

In my opinion, not being on Instagram at 11 is a good way for her to avoid the ridiculousness of having her popularity measured by her number of followers.

Real question, though, how long would it take to get enough followers so as not to appear unpopular? I know that when I joined twitter, it was simple to follow a bunch of people who then owed me back. And now I appear popular (probably even more than in real life!). How would it work for a 13-year-old just joining Instagram?