Divorce/separation in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the good advice. I have not consulted a lawyer, but a colleague recommended one, and I will call today.

Honestly I feel like I was slapped in the face when I read the words, "You might need to sell your house now." I'm just at the beginning of this process, so a lot of this hasn't really sunk in. Both those words did - and I appreciate the candor. I have to make some though decisions this week. There is absolutely no way we can afford two separate households.

In addition to getting a lawyer, what do other people do to get emotional support? None of my close friends are divorced, and I'm afraid my family isn't going to be all that supportive - esp. at first.

Divorced mom here. Changed financial circumstances are really hard to avoid in divorce. It is definitely a lifelong financial disadvantage to have to maintain 2 separate homes. Perhaps you and the ex can minimize this burden if you keep the house and take only a second small studio apartment that you both can rotate in and out of? Kids would stay in the larger home and parents would rotate in and out as agreed for custody. This may be slightly cheaper than two full homes to maintain. Of course, it requires good cooperation and ground rules on both sides. Could be just an agreement for X years while the children are young or until you are able to increase your financial/career options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For the VA/DC residency question: you cannot file in VA if you live in DC unless the other party still lives in VA. At least one party has to live in the jurisdiction where you file .

Thanks for this -- are the rules any different for outright abandonment? One party has left the country.

At least one party has to be in the jurisdiction where you file. But please understand that you do not have to divorce where you were married. Wherever you are, you can divorce. I believe that with abandonment, you still need to wait. And to get an uncontested divorce on abandonment grounds, you need to show that the other party abandoned a long time ago; exact time period varies by jurisdiction.