Explain abortion to 8yo

[Anonymous]

I explained it to my 7 year old. It isnt that complicated.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all the opinions.
I believe i should answer it, making it as simple as possible. Thank you for the encouragement.
It just took me by surprise this morning and, since the question only came from the 8yo, i wasn't prepared and didn't want to stumble in front of both kids.

[Anonymous]

When mine asked about it, they were younger than 8 but I can't remember exactly how young. I told them that sometimes when women are pregnant, their circumstances change and they're not able to be a good mom. We talked about some possibile reasons why someone might not be ready to have babies such as age, finances, school, etc. I said that sometimes, rather than having the baby knowing she isn't ready to be a great mom, she can take some medicine or have a small procedure (kind of like a surgery) to make her not be pregnant any more. We also discussed adoption and what a wonderful gift that is. Then we talked about how our bodies are our own and we get to make choices about our own bodies, including when to have babies.

It was a simple convo. NBD. Don't make it any more complicated than you have to, don't act upset about the topic or he'll pick up on your stress, and don't bring up sex I you don't want to explain sex. If he brings it up, give the simplest, shortest version of the truth you're able to and let him ask for more info when he's ready to hear it.

I did the same thing with my 3 kids. We've never shied away from discussing sex and how babies are created, I wasn't going to shy away from this. I also explained that people feel very strongly about it. I, personally, did not believe it was really a 'baby' until it could live on it's own. We then talked about parasites, like tics and lice. We had thought about mosquitos but because they don't require blood to live and it's only the females that bite in order to reproduce, we decided mosquitoes didn't meet the criteria for parasite.

[Anonymous]

I just told the truth at this age. "Sometimes when you have a baby in your belly you don't want it so you go to the doctor and get it taken out." Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6year old is aware of the abortion debate. I've iold him that when its when a woman decides not to go through with a pregnancy, or not to carry a pregnancy to term. He doesn't need to know the details about how it's done, but he knows that I'm pro-choice, that there are infinite reasons why a woman would not carry a pregnancy to term, and that it's a hot political issue right now.

How much of all that does he understand? No idea. I've kept it casual, I haven't gotten into the details (I also haven't mentioned it except for when he has asked me about it after hearing it on the radio or something) but he also knows it's why I disagree with certain people's political agendas.

I don't believe in sheltering my kid - he knows a lot about current events because we discuss the news all the time. Some of those current events are even of interest to him - like Scott Kelly's year in space experiment.

Right now? It's been a hot political issue for more than four decades.

I have to say that I am comfortable discussing most things with my kids, but I find this topic particularly difficult. And I think the reason it's difficult is because, to me, it is one of the most challenging political/ethical/moral issues out there. When my kids ask, I plan to say something like: sometimes women decide that they are not in the position to have a baby because they are unhealthy, financially unstable, too young, or just don't feel like having another kid (this is the hardest scenario), so they decide to terminate the pregnancy. Some people feel like this is immoral/wrong because the woman is ending another life (I guess if you don't believe it's a life, then this discussion is easier, but I happen to believe that it's a life). Many people feel very strongly that a woman should have this choice to do what she wants w/ her body (which is a valid argument), and some people think that a woman shouldn't be allowed to end another person's life (which is also a valid argument). When you're older, you will likely come to some decision about what you believe.

[Anonymous]

Gave my kid a very clinical explanation of abortion around age ten. The kid was horrified.

[Anonymous]

How you talk about it is going to be based on your personal views. Last year we drove by protestors with huge graphic signs a couple of times. Once I was able to distract them by pointing out something out the opposite side of the car. The other time I said to close their eyes and luckily they did. Have a discussion about abortion is different than seeing some of those graphic images for a young child.

[Anonymous]

I've discussed this with several charges, when the parents asked. I presented it like I do all controversial issues. This is what the law says, this is what extreme views on one side are, this is what extreme views on the other side are, these are the arguments that each side makes. Most people find that their thoughts are somewhere in the middle, but everyone has to decide for themselves. If you have any questions, I would be happy to answer them.

In the initial discussions, my views are irrelevant, as are the views of the parents. I'm used to talking to kids about various controversial topics without judgement or pressure, while most parents try to convince kids that their view is right. The parents who have asked me to talk to their kids about it know that the kids are most likely going to have similar views after thinking it through, but they believe that it's something kids have to decide for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ something fun, that is.

More likely, I won't have to say anything at all because I usually bring an iPad so that they can watch videos in the car.

Problem solved.

You seriously think frying their brains with ipads is better than TALKING to them??

OP, if you think it's too early to discuss, I think you can just say, "That's something I can fully explain when you're older."

You honestly think a 5 year old should not use an iPad. Get off this board and go back to the 20th century.

You raise your kids your way and I'll raise them mine.

OP, you just don't have to bring it up at those ages. It's vastly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6year old is aware of the abortion debate. I've iold him that when its when a woman decides not to go through with a pregnancy, or not to carry a pregnancy to term. He doesn't need to know the details about how it's done, but he knows that I'm pro-choice, that there are infinite reasons why a woman would not carry a pregnancy to term, and that it's a hot political issue right now.

How much of all that does he understand? No idea. I've kept it casual, I haven't gotten into the details (I also haven't mentioned it except for when he has asked me about it after hearing it on the radio or something) but he also knows it's why I disagree with certain people's political agendas.

I don't believe in sheltering my kid - he knows a lot about current events because we discuss the news all the time. Some of those current events are even of interest to him - like Scott Kelly's year in space experiment.

I think this is a straightforward answer for a kid of this age. However, for us, it was "decides or cannot for medical reasons gives birth".

I've had more than one friend who have had a non-viable fetus or miscarry but still need to have a D&C. One friend's father can't referring to it as an "abortion." It was traumatic enough knowing her baby died inside her and having a medical procedure is stressful unto itself.

Your kid may have already forgotten about it. If he asks again, then maybe give a brief explanation. 8 is really too young for a lot of the specifics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went past a Hope demonstration, with signs of fetuses photos, baby murdererers etc.
8yo and 5 yo in the car.
8yo asking what is this etc. I wasn't prepared so I managed to difuse him saying people were protesting, what about? I said it is a little long to explain, I will tell you when I pick you up.
I dropped him off at this activity, so there was really no time to get into this, plus I wasn't sure how to explain it to him, even more tricky with 5yo listening.

Anybody has ideas? This will come up again really soon.

I have a 9 year old and this came up. I was honest and told her some people kill babies because they either don't want them or they don't think they are perfect enough. She said this is bad and I agreed. It is bad.

[Anonymous]

I just explained it to my DD in a straight forward way. "When a female gets pregnant she has three options: she can have what will turn into a baby and keep it, have what will turn into a baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion which is a medical procedure where they take out the cells that are called a fetus, before they turn into a baby. Then the woman isn't pregnant anymore and a baby isn't born. Some people think that's wrong, but I think they're wrong. Nobody should have a baby if they're not prepared to."

[Anonymous]

I told my kids that sometimes, a mom doesn't want her child anymore for a variety of reasons and undergoes a procedure called abortion where her child is killed in the womb. That seemed to suffice for now (they're 8 and 7).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that sometimes, a mom doesn't want her child anymore for a variety of reasons and undergoes a procedure called abortion where her child is killed in the womb. That seemed to suffice for now (they're 8 and 7).

This is what I said, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just explained it to my DD in a straight forward way. "When a female gets pregnant she has three options: she can have what will turn into a baby and keep it, have what will turn into a baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion which is a medical procedure where they take out the cells that are called a fetus, before they turn into a baby. Then the woman isn't pregnant anymore and a baby isn't born. Some people think that's wrong, but I think they're wrong. Nobody should have a baby if they're not prepared to."

I guess that would work... Unless she saw the graphic images and saw that the "cells that are called a fetus" are identical to a human baby. The truth is that the reason why those graphic images are so disturbing is that they show what really happens, which is that a baby gets killed. And this is coming from someone who is on the fence about where I stand on the abortion debate. Those images make me think I'm against abortion, but when I think about abortion without those images I lean pro-choice. That's why I can say I'm still undecided.