How do you deal with the disappointment month after month?

[Anonymous]

OP I totally hear you. Took me 18 months to get pregnant the first time. Then 2 miscarriages (one after a heartbeat) finally holdin strong at third pregnancy. Meanwhile some friends have had a baby and another on the way in that time.
With doing everything 100% right every month you have about a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month. This has nothing to do with you failing at something. Average time it takes to get pregnant after being on birth control for a while is a year. Go to the doctor and get some testing done. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

The first time, copious amounts of booze and chocolate, this time the TTC thread. I'm glad you're going to your doc. When I was TTC #1 I went to my doc after a couple months of using a fertility monitor which showed I had a short LP, and though I was 30 and we'd been at it for less than a year, he referred me to an RE. Fortunately, I got pregnant on my own just before my RE appointment (and right after I finally lost it and tearily asked my siblings to tell my mom to get off my back because we were trying like crazy and it wasn't working). It sucks, there's no easy way to deal. I've made it a point to tell my friends who are about to start trying that it took us on the longer end of normal and several people have thanked me for that as they've experienced the waiting too. It really seems like the only people who talk about how long it takes them to get pregnant are the ones who got pregnant immediately and that heavily skews your expectations when you're trying. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first time, copious amounts of booze and chocolate, this time the TTC thread. I'm glad you're going to your doc. When I was TTC #1 I went to my doc after a couple months of using a fertility monitor which showed I had a short LP, and though I was 30 and we'd been at it for less than a year, he referred me to an RE. Fortunately, I got pregnant on my own just before my RE appointment (and right after I finally lost it and tearily asked my siblings to tell my mom to get off my back because we were trying like crazy and it wasn't working). It sucks, there's no easy way to deal. I've made it a point to tell my friends who are about to start trying that it took us on the longer end of normal and several people have thanked me for that as they've experienced the waiting too. It really seems like the only people who talk about how long it takes them to get pregnant are the ones who got pregnant immediately and that heavily skews your expectations when you're trying. Good luck!

the grass is always greener....all I ever heard about was how long it took my friends, so when I got pregnant the first month of trying I was shocked. And had not saved up enough money.

My wait was the second time around.

[Anonymous]

We had almost a year of TTC our first, and it was disappointment after disappointment, felt like a failure, etc. DH and I decided to take a break. We also got a kitten (we already had a young cat and had been planning to get another at some point). Having a new pet let me put my need to nuture somewhere. This was in late summer and we decided to start TTC again after the new year. But surprise, surprise, we got pregnant that October. I think the stress of TTC was working against us.

Of course, we didn't have any known fertility issues, so that obviously might affect how you deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I totally hear you. Took me 18 months to get pregnant the first time. Then 2 miscarriages (one after a heartbeat) finally holdin strong at third pregnancy. Meanwhile some friends have had a baby and another on the way in that time.
With doing everything 100% right every month you have about a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month. This has nothing to do with you failing at something. Average time it takes to get pregnant after being on birth control for a while is a year. Go to the doctor and get some testing done. Good luck!

Actually most couples conceive within 3 months.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I'm calling BS. Who is this poster who keeps saying most people get pregnant in 3 months? What evidence do you have exactly???

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way. What's worse is that my cycles are irregular and between my husband's low sex drive and travel we rarely do it when I'm ovulating. I'm starting IUI after a few years of trying and I really think we've only done it when I'm ovulating a handful of times. I'm so ready for IUI and no longer having to stress about dtd.