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Should I let my 14 yr.old daughter go to Merriwether post pavilion alone with girlfriend?
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Anonymous
Well, like it or not, Fifty Cent has been associated with violence--shootings, drugs, murder attempts and intergroup rivalries. And because this has been widely publicized, people are aware of it and would be wise to be careful. No similar info. has been publicized about FallOut Boy--if it were, of course, the same concerns would apply. |
Anonymous
| No ... she is too young to go alone with just another equally young girl. She has her whole adult life to go to concerts independently ... this restriction/caution is only temporary. |
Anonymous
| My daughter went to the Spice Girls last year at age 14 at the Verizon Center. You could not have paid me to sit through it. But the whole crowd was 14 year old girls and it was, as someone else pointed out, an indoor venue. My experience at Verizon at a couple of concerts is that it is very tame and well controlled. Not sure about Meriweather. I would probably let her go now, not sure I would have let her go last year. |
Anonymous
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I went to my first concert at age 14 with just my girlfriends. We were dropped off and picked up promptly after the concert. It was Depeche Mode at a huge outdoor stadium. There were some people smoking pot - we could smell it. But, that sort of thing went on at school too, so it did not faze us at all. And I did not think the situation was at all dangerous. Someone did steal one of the concert tshirts I had bought, but that's the worst that happened to us. We always went to the restrooms, concessions stand, etc, as a group. When you're a teenager, you do everything in a group. You don't ever much as pee without your group of girlfriends.
But, now, as a parent, I don't know if I would allow the same thing for my daughter. |
Anonymous
| You've answered your own question, by describing daughter and friend as extremely naive. Have your husband go! |
Anonymous
| I agree with the PP. You know your kid, so you know the answer. But, this will be a lot of fun for them, even with an adult chaperone, and a learning experience for all of you. Keep exposing her to live shows! While you're there, point out the safe way to do things. When she is older and wiser, she will be able to go alone with friends, and will know how to be OK and have a good time. |
Anonymous
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If nothing else, going with your daughter will take away some of the mystery for you. You'll get a good idea of what goes on, and what you and your d should talk about whe she finally will go to concerts alone.
I second the live music! |
Anonymous
| I've been to many outdoor concerts over the years at various venues. All have lots of drunks and smell of pot. Fine for adults. No way for a 14 yo unless I'm there (at a distance). |
Anonymous
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I am PP who STRONGLY advocates sussing this out with your DH AND daughter. I think hubby should go, but OP, you clearly need a more long term plan for how to handle this stuff.
Talk with your DH about what is required for you guys to feel safe about these situations and come to some decisions. Allow your daughter to weigh in with her thoughts, and if you have NOT talked to her about drug use, alcohol sex, (all the fun stuff kids love), you are overdue. Info is power. Help her protect herself with information, not scare tactics, so that when she finally goes to a concert, she is not that naive girl who will try anything. I really do see this as an opportunity for communication. Do not listen to any bullshit about rap/rock/etc. Kids are kids. Music is music. Any excuse to get high and screw around....it doesn't matter, no to mention, you cannot choose her taste in music. Get on board with this NOW, before she makes her own decisions WITHOUT your input!!! Signed, A former CRAZY (I mean, seriously crazy) teen Teacher Counselor Parent |
Anonymous
| Wait at least until your daughter is 16 (at least) to go to these concerts. Why rush it? |
Anonymous
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OP here,
Thanks to everyone for the helpful/insightful responses! My husband is going to the concert with them and will keep a discreet distance. (I will have to make sure he doesn't dress in any of his embarassing clothes--though actually my daughter will probably pick out an outfit for him!)We do need a longterm plan for these situations and this will be a good place to start. |
Anonymous
| Thanks to OP and PPs for a good, supportive discussion. I'd just like to pick up on the role-playing suggestion made by a PP; we've found role-playing to be very effective with our 15-y.o. DS in sussing out issues and concerns related to concerts, parties, dances, etc. We just say to him, "Here's what could happen, e.g., somebody could hand you a beer or joint, how would you respond?" Before this discussion we often consult friends who have kids a bit older to ask how they've handled similar situations. Interestingly the 2 responses most commonly suggested by teens, young college-aged adults, and parents alike are: 1) "No, I can't, I'm in training for _________ (fill in the blank with whatever sport your child plays)" and 2) "No, I can't, my parents are crazy -- they actually drug-test me." |
Anonymous
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PP I appreciate your post but kids today are so-o-o-o-o savvy: I know my 12-year-old's first question would be "Can parents actually do drugs tests at home?"
Can they? |
Anonymous
Yup, available at any pharmacy! |
Anonymous
| OMG thank you thank you, you have made my day. Or night. Or the next five years of teen parenting. Now on to my next anticipatory fixation: tattoos. |