Awkward birthday party situation

[Anonymous]

This is why I hate evite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD, 7, appears to have not been invited to a birthday party by one of her good friends. This is not a class with a lot of mean girl dynamics, and I consider the mom a friend. The birthday girl has been over to our house several times to play and she and DD get along really well. And they've gone to each other's last two years' parties.

Anyway, DD casually mentioned where this friend's party was this year. I hadn't received an invitation so I assumed they hadn't been sent yet. And then today, at pickup, I heard one of DD's classmates saying, "see you at your party on Sunday!" to the other girl.

It was so surprising to me that I came home and checked through my old emails to make sure I hadn't missed an evite. Nothing.

So: Do I assume she really wasn't invited? It makes me feel sort of rotten, and I swear, I am not one of those people who gets so wrapped up in their kids' social lives. I guess that's the only answer. I just think it's weird. But, of course, asking the mom about it is 1000x weirder, right?

I wouldn't assume she was not invited. I would contact the mom and explain that you heard about the party and were worried you have missed the invite etc. It is best to just be upfront and be honest. All this did they or didn't I stuff is what makes things awkward.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure the girls weren't talking about ANOTHER girl's party?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are just having a smaller party this year. It stresses me out to do big parties, so this year I told DS he could invite his 4 closest friends, no more. In the past we have invited a larger group, but it is just too much work for me at this point.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for sending an email about scheduling a get together. Your email address could easily have been misspelled. I do that all the time and always have to check to make sure it has been viewed. Or maybe they just plain forgot but want your daughter to come. I forgot to send a paper invite to my best friend and maid of honor for my wedding. I have no idea how, but she obviously knew she was invited.

[Anonymous]

I'm with the "send an email" folks. Don't assume the worst.

[Anonymous]

I've had last minute invites via text message because the mom realized that she hadn't sent us an evite. Similar situation, kids have been friends since preschool, I'm friends with the mom. These things happen. If I hadn't gotten the text, I would have just assumed they were doing something different this year. Also, kids go to different schools now, so have different school friends, etc.

[Anonymous]

Send an email inviting the birthday girl for a playdate the same day as the party, see what the parent replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Land your helicopter gently and walk away. It's your kid's life, not yours.

Give me a break. OP is not helicoptering...she cares about her child's feelings, who is still happens to be young enough to not have full command of her life yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, if she had sent you an evite and you hadn't responded, she Would've reached out to you by now.

Not necessarily. If someone doesn't reply, I don't go thru the trouble of following up.

[Anonymous]

where is the party? Is it one of those big places that hold many?

I would send a note to the mom and ask if they want to do a play date that weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Land your helicopter gently and walk away. It's your kid's life, not yours.

Give me a break. OP is not helicoptering...she cares about her child's feelings, who is still happens to be young enough to not have full command of her life yet.

There is no mention in OP's post that her daughter feels upset. Only that OP feels upset.

[Anonymous]

We keep our son b-day parties really small now. And he tends to invite kids he knows all get along. This last year, there wasn't a single kid who was invited in previous years. Its not like he doesn't like the other kids, we just limited it to 3 friends.

[Anonymous]

I would ask. What have you got to lose? If DD was not invited, and she considers the girl a close friend, that's telling. I would write these people off is my DD were left out in this way.

[Anonymous]

My DD is about to turn 8. She decided not to have a party this year because we don't want to do a big party, and small party it too tricky for just this reason. But I wouldn't assume that this was an oversight unless your girls are REALLY close. And if your girls are that close, then the b-day girl would be asking her mom if your DD is coming, and when mom say you hadn't RSVP'd, she'd contact you. Since you haven't heard, I think that means either you weren't invited or your daughters aren't as good of friends as you think they are.