Making friends at a new school - parent version

[Anonymous]

The parents at my child's school are all very close. We go out often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a pathetic conversation.

Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way.

+100

Bleh.

I'm sure you have very "busy," "important" lives.

[Anonymous]

What about soccer or t-ball teams? Leagues like stoddert have school based teams and it's great to socialize with other parents at practices and games.

[Anonymous]

It takes time, let it happen organically.

[Anonymous]

Like a parsnip.

[Anonymous]

OP-My own story and why you'll not get more than a friendly nod from me. I'm glad DC is past the age where I have to be at the play dates. No more forced conversations for an hour+ and coming up with topics to talk about. Now its time for more of my life. True, have met and made friends with some great parents but don't feel I have to try anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a pathetic conversation.

Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way.

+100

Here's just one example of why having friends at the school is really helpful: last week I was afraid I was running late after a medical appointment, and I texted a friend of mine and asked her to pick up my kids from aftercare if I wasn't there on time. As it turns out, I got there on time with minutes to spare, but it was wonderful knowing that I had a trusted friend as a backup. I've done the same for her when she's needed it, so it works out well. I can't imagine what I would have done sometimes without the support of the school community.

[Anonymous]

This is what I need. I have not been able to figure it out yet. So, I appreciate this thread.

What do you do if no one ever invites your child on a play date or to a birthday party? DS seems to enjoy school and have friends when he is there. But nobody from school ever invites him..::am I expecting too much? He is only four.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what I need. I have not been able to figure it out yet. So, I appreciate this thread.

What do you do if no one ever invites your child on a play date or to a birthday party? DS seems to enjoy school and have friends when he is there. But nobody from school ever invites him..::am I expecting too much? He is only four.

What happens when you invite them?

Volunteer for something - the auction committee, school book fair or whatever. Find a mom of a child near your kid's age and be warm and try to befriend her.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe DC just sucks. Before DC, we had a huge network of parents who would help us, and parents we would help. In DC, once--literally once--i asked a neighbor two blocks from our school to get one of our kids. It seemed a safe bet, since I'd gotten their kids more than once.

I was thirty minutes late because of traffic. Another ten minutes were wasted ringing the doorbell of the parent who texted me they had my back... But didn't get my kid. My kid, when I finally realized no one had come, was sobbing in the principal's office.
.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe your neighbor sucks...all of D.C? Really PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe your neighbor sucks...all of D.C? Really PP?

I know....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what I need. I have not been able to figure it out yet. So, I appreciate this thread.

What do you do if no one ever invites your child on a play date or to a birthday party? DS seems to enjoy school and have friends when he is there. But nobody from school ever invites him..::am I expecting too much? He is only four.

What happens when you invite them?

Volunteer for something - the auction committee, school book fair or whatever. Find a mom of a child near your kid's age and be warm and try to befriend her.

Exactly. Show up for the school literacy night or physical education night or other school event and ask your kid to point out his friends. Then approach his friends' parents and introduce yourself. Say something like "my little Eggbert talks about your Jimmy all the time - I'd love to get them together." When they respond in kind, set up a playdate at the playground or someplace else fairly neutral. Even if you don't end up being bosom buddies with your son's new friend's mom, you may then have an exchange of playdates and someone who is willing to pick up your kid in an emergency.

As for the parent who had someone let them down, I'm sorry this happened. My kids have been going to DCPS for 6 years now, and I've had my share of disappointments along the way (parents who promised to invite my kid to a birthday party, parents who failed to bring promised treats on birthday day, and other failures). I prefer to think of it as an individual parenting fail rather than a failure of DC writ large. I was once an hour late to pick up my own kids from a birthday party because I just spaced on it and lost track of time. Shockingly, my kids' friend's mom forgave me, and we are still friends today. Things happen, and you have to have faith that most people are actually trying to do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe DC just sucks. Before DC, we had a huge network of parents who would help us, and parents we would help. In DC, once--literally once--i asked a neighbor two blocks from our school to get one of our kids. It seemed a safe bet, since I'd gotten their kids more than once.

I was thirty minutes late because of traffic. Another ten minutes were wasted ringing the doorbell of the parent who texted me they had my back... But didn't get my kid. My kid, when I finally realized no one had come, was sobbing in the principal's office.
.

As a long time resident, I make lots of new friends, but not with people who hate the city I love. And judging an entire city by one neighbor? Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Parent friendships are just their own challenge.. I do a lot of volunteer work and everyone is really nice to me, but I am just not in the social circle. I am single, don't get the invites to the dinner parties or the concerts, but then I realized I just was never going to and that was ok. I have friends from other parts of my life and those are what I need to focus on.