3-year-old Ringbearer - HELP!

[Anonymous]

Tell your son that youneed him to "pretend/play he is an adult for one hour". And have a bribe ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the last poster. My just shy of 2 years old nephew was my ring bearer and 2.5 year old niece was the flower girl. Did they do exactly what they were supposed to do? No! Especially the ring bearer! But it was ADORABLE! It really depends on how the couple is about these types of things. If they have expectations of perfection, they will be disappointed. But if they just love your DS and want him in their wedding in any capacity, it could be great. Honestly, my nephew cried through the better part of the ceremony and DH and I DID NOT EVEN NOTICE! We were just focused on us.

yes your DS might upstage the bride with serious cuteness by not behaving exactly right, causing laughter and distraction on the part of the audience. OR your DS might upstage the bride by behaving badly/crying and being a distraction in a not happy or good way.

If the bride is ok with either of those scenarios, then great! If the bride wants to be the center of attention, then bow out now. It depends on the personality of the bride (and sometimes, where she is in life and her personal development)

+1,000. DD was flower girl for my BIL's wedding when she was 20mos and for my sister when she was 3.5. In both circumstances the bride and groom acknowledged the were looking for the "aww factor", understood that the little ones might not cooperate and we had a plan B.

When she was not quite 2, my DH and the mother of the ringbearer sat at the front of the church. The ringbearer's father and I stood at the back with the wedding party, that way each kid simply had to walk from one parent to another, and if they didn't cooperate, a parent was right there to whisk them up. The aww factor ended up that neither of them carried the flowers or pillow, each carried a snacktrap with goldfish instead!

When she was 3.5, I stayed in back with DD again. She walked down to the front and then sat down next to DH. I walked around the side, not down the center aisle, and joined them in the seats.

All adults involved need to be chill, and no matter what, have a video camera ready!!

[Anonymous]

Having extra adults who the child is familiar with is KEY!

For my 2 YO, I had already walked down as a bridesmaid, he started walking down BUT the wedding planner grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. He burst out in tears and that was that.

Also have a small bag of food that is not greasy to give as snacks to hold him over as there are usually long windows between eating being a part of the wedding.

finally - a tip - we used Velcro to keep his shirt tucked in

[Anonymous]

Be at the end of the aisle, near the alter to encourage him to come down the aisle.

Have someone he knows send-him-off at the beginning of the aisle.

Have someone sitting in a middle row to guide him mid-point if he needs it.

Don't expect that it will be flawless. It will be something. Just don't know what. If he cries or runs away, let it go - don't make him complete the task (for others ~ don't do this. They are too young, it's not worth the stress)

[Anonymous]

I showed my almost three year old videos of other kids being ring bearers on YouTube. It helped prepare him. But then he started wandering around during the ceremony and DH had to take him to the back and let him play with cars. DS looooooved the bridesmaids and he was like their little mascot. It was a fun time, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Our 2yr old nephew was our ring bearer. My sister carried him down the aisle. He sat with my parents and his parents (my sis and brother-in-law.) When my husband asked him for the ring he braced himself and said no, then my husband pulled a See's chocolate bar out of his pocket for him and asked again. Well, he came running to us, tossed us the pillow with the rings at us and ran back to his parents happily with the candy- with the entire crowd laughing. He sat quietly through the ceremony eating his chocolate. Success! Our back up plan was to have my brother-in-law bring the rings up, if our nephew ultimately refused.

Nephew is now 5 and still talks about the chocolate his uncle gave him at our wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had 2.5 yo boy as ring bearer- we knew it could be a disaster but it was important to all of us. Mom was also a bridesmaid, so dad managed boy.

So dad sat in front row with bride's family- once procession was done, boy sat with dad, but eventually came out to sit on the altar steps because it was interesting to him. Then he hid for the processional.

We had expected dad to head out of the church to play outside with ring bearer until ceremony was over, but they ended up staying.

Honestly- it is all about perspective- we knew it might not work- but were thrilled when part of it did.

And plan for just a couple of photos with the child.

If the bride/ groom are game then it might work better than you think.

+1

My 2.5 year old did it for his uncle. Everyone knew it might not work. I bribed him with a lollipop while standing at the front of the aisle, and damn if he didn't do a great job!

[Anonymous]

Have a groomsman keep fruit snacks in his pocket. Tell DS when it's his time to walk down the aisle. When he finds Uncle Danny, he gets the gummies.

Then have someone take him outside if needed