Playground behavior question

[Anonymous]

No advice, but I feel you OP. Our guys have the same issues/diagnosis and I'm dreading playground time next year.

[Anonymous]

OP, no real suggestions for you, but my observation has been that K boys are really awful at social interactions. My son (who has ADHD) tells me things, and I can never tell whether he's being socially ostracized, or if they are all just awful to each other. (I'm exaggerating a little -- it seems like the awfulness is sporadically mixed with great kindness. Like "Jack punched Simon in the tummy. So Marty and I waited with Simon while Bobby went to go find a playground aide. He was okay after he cried a while." Or "Max split up the soccer teams and put everyone on one team, except for Johnny, who is the smallest kid in the whole kindergarten. So Peter and I decided to be on Johnny's team and we played really well, even though it was 12 against 3.") I'm always a little appalled when he tells me these recess stories. It does seem like there are always a few kids that have better empathy and are more kind...if you can figure out who they are with some probing questions, foster friendships there.

[Anonymous]

For those that had playground observations done...how many times did the evaluator observe? I'm concerned that one observation might give a slanted picture, given how much variation there can be from day to day in how kids play.

[Anonymous]

The playground is truly a struggle for all children...my son had a rough, rough time in K on the playground. Even at a pricey private school, the supervision just stinks...

Toss in a child with some anxiety/sensory issues, playgrounds are a disaster waiting to happen.

Try talking to your school leaders and see if they'll accept parent volunteers on the playground. Ours will not, but they should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC isn't coordinated either and was the only one in the class who couldn't go through the climbing structure at school.
I took DC to the school playground on weekends to practice over and over again.

How did you encourage that? My DC now just habitually avoids the climbing structure and isn't at all interested in practicing often enough to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those that had playground observations done...how many times did the evaluator observe? I'm concerned that one observation might give a slanted picture, given how much variation there can be from day to day in how kids play.

OP- I'm the pp who suggested the recess observation. The school provided a routine speech and language screening to all the students. DS was flagged for a full language evaluation, which turned up some issues- part of that evaluation included classroom and recess observations.

The recess amd classroom observation showed deficits in social pragmatics. DS is currently enrolled in a social skills therapy group. I felt that the language results warranted a full neuropsych- we did that later in the school year and it showed that DS has ADHD. I wouldn't be surprised if the ADHD diagnosis eventually morphs into a HFA diagnosis. I've been reading "Bright, Not Broken" and it seems like the author could be talking directly to me about my son.

FWIW, we really saw the social issues kick in during 2nd. Kids develop more advanced social understanding around this age- it was clear DS was different, whereas in K, he was different, but the other kids were so immature it didn't stand out as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those that had playground observations done...how many times did the evaluator observe? I'm concerned that one observation might give a slanted picture, given how much variation there can be from day to day in how kids play.

OP- I'm the pp who suggested the recess observation. The school provided a routine speech and language screening to all the students. DS was flagged for a full language evaluation, which turned up some issues- part of that evaluation included classroom and recess observations.

The recess amd classroom observation showed deficits in social pragmatics. DS is currently enrolled in a social skills therapy group. I felt that the language results warranted a full neuropsych- we did that later in the school year and it showed that DS has ADHD. I wouldn't be surprised if the ADHD diagnosis eventually morphs into a HFA diagnosis. I've been reading "Bright, Not Broken" and it seems like the author could be talking directly to me about my son.

FWIW, we really saw the social issues kick in during 2nd. Kids develop more advanced social understanding around this age- it was clear DS was different, whereas in K, he was different, but the other kids were so immature it didn't stand out as much.

Lastly OP- a good evaluator will have more than one data point. Testing in the office, several observations, teacher/parent input, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP again.

What type of evaluator?

The teacher treats me like I am nuts. She says my son seems happy playing this odd game most days. Other days he talks to teachers during recess. We think he is so desperate for children to play with him that he will allow the exclusionary behavior (making him the monster who chases them with no reward) in some cases.

My babysitter - a brainy 27 year old law grad waiting for her bar results - sees what I see. She says when she picks him up from school, he always comes out alone (v. other children who are with a pal or pals), and always looks sad. He tells her stories about kids being mean to her, with no provocation.

[Anonymous]

Ask your school to evaluate him. Get on the waiting list for a developmental pediatrician at children's and KKI. Who diagnosed the DCD, hypotonia and sensory issues?

From what you describe, I would contact Children's Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders for ADOS/ADI-R testing rather then getting someone to do just a playground observation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

What type of evaluator?

The teacher treats me like I am nuts. She says my son seems happy playing this odd game most days. Other days he talks to teachers during recess. We think he is so desperate for children to play with him that he will allow the exclusionary behavior (making him the monster who chases them with no reward) in some cases.

My babysitter - a brainy 27 year old law grad waiting for her bar results - sees what I see. She says when she picks him up from school, he always comes out alone (v. other children who are with a pal or pals), and always looks sad. He tells her stories about kids being mean to her, with no provocation.

OP- I first mentioned the evaluation. We used a speech and language pathologist. Your son is still young-- but I'm wondering about social pragmatics. My son complained of bullying too- and while I think the kids could be very unkind-- there were social pragmatics problems that made him more of a target.

It could be as simple as lagging physical skills- but I think it's worth exploring whether there are social deficits. A speech and language pathologist might be a good start. We went for a full neuropsych based on the results of the language evaluation and feedback from the school. My son was well behaved in K- he seemed more quirky. It was when he reached second grade that we knew it was more than quirky.

[Anonymous]

OP

I agree that my son has sensory and gross motor issues that make him target and want to help him to adapt to be less so. He has extraordinary verbal skills - one of his relatively few strengths. In this case does a SLP still make sense - or would an OT be better?