I love my husband as a partner but not a father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

The OP asked how she can go about changing her husbands behavior. One effective way to change someone's bad behavior is to confront them with the observed facts, in a non-threatening (but direct) manner. No one is suggesting that she accept his behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

The OP asked how she can go about changing her husbands behavior. One effective way to change someone's bad behavior is to confront them with the observed facts, in a non-threatening (but direct) manner. No one is suggesting that she accept his behavior.

She never asked how to change his behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

Actually, it is about OP because she's the one here asking for advice. We could talk until we're blue in the face about what her husband should do, but he's not here to listen so it's kind of pointless.

Part of good communication skills is knowing your audience.

[Anonymous]

Did he want kids in the first place?

Not excusing his behavior, but it's common and I've seen similar from men who harbored resentment, when they never wanted to have kids or become fathers to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

Actually, it is about OP because she's the one here asking for advice. We could talk until we're blue in the face about what her husband should do, but he's not here to listen so it's kind of pointless.

Part of good communication skills is knowing your audience.

She never asked for advice. She stated the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

Actually, it is about OP because she's the one here asking for advice. We could talk until we're blue in the face about what her husband should do, but he's not here to listen so it's kind of pointless.

Part of good communication skills is knowing your audience.

She never asked for advice. She stated the situation.

I don't have a crystal ball, but I have a feeling that her post was a tacit request for advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

Actually, it is about OP because she's the one here asking for advice. We could talk until we're blue in the face about what her husband should do, but he's not here to listen so it's kind of pointless.

Part of good communication skills is knowing your audience.

She never asked for advice. She stated the situation.

I don't have a crystal ball, but I have a feeling that her post was a tacit request for advice.

You're right, you don't have a crystal ball. And you're not a mind reader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

Actually, it is about OP because she's the one here asking for advice. We could talk until we're blue in the face about what her husband should do, but he's not here to listen so it's kind of pointless.

Part of good communication skills is knowing your audience.

She never asked for advice. She stated the situation.

I don't have a crystal ball, but I have a feeling that her post was a tacit request for advice.

Or maybe she was just stating the situation, wanting to her people's opinions about her situation.

[Anonymous]

Op, take a trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

Actually, it is about OP because she's the one here asking for advice. We could talk until we're blue in the face about what her husband should do, but he's not here to listen so it's kind of pointless.

Part of good communication skills is knowing your audience.

She never asked for advice. She stated the situation.

I don't have a crystal ball, but I have a feeling that her post was a tacit request for advice.

Or maybe she was just stating the situation, wanting to her people's opinions about her situation.

In other words, asking for advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should be able to handle dealing with his own child for a little while, even if he works full-time.

It sounds like he perceives you as "nagging" and is resisting what ordinarily shouldn't be a big deal. It's sort of like a child who was about to clean his room, but now refuses to do it because his mother suddenly walked in and complained about his room not being cleaned. It's just childish passive-aggression, and can probably worked through if you point it out to him in a non-threatening way.

On the other hand, try not to be one of those clock-watching SAHMs who demand that the husband be their "relief shift" when he gets home from work. It doesn't sound like this is the case here, based on your description.

It honestly doesn't matter whether he feels she is "nagging."

He's not doing the fucking work, that's pretty much the end of the story here.

Hopefully OP is a better communicator than you.

Oh, I'm great at communicating. And I let lazy assholes know that upfront

Simply announcing your demands in a "take it or leave it" manner isn't really being a good communicator. Changing another person's mind and actions, without making them defensive and resentful, is being a good communicator.

No, being upfront about your feelings, and not trying to somehow change a person by passive aggressively couching your words while hiding resentment, is good communication.

Again- the OP's communication skills are irrelevant. This is NOT about her, this is about her DH. But gold star for you for your attempts to redirect

Actually, it is about OP because she's the one here asking for advice. We could talk until we're blue in the face about what her husband should do, but he's not here to listen so it's kind of pointless.

Part of good communication skills is knowing your audience.

She never asked for advice. She stated the situation.

I don't have a crystal ball, but I have a feeling that her post was a tacit request for advice.

Or maybe she was just stating the situation, wanting to her people's opinions about her situation.

In other words, asking for advice.

Opinions are not the same as advice... fyi.