One child not affectionate :(

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:children are different.
get over it.

if you decided to have them, now face the consequences.
sad but true.

you are simply horrible. you really thrive on causing trouble don't you? Your life must be so miserable being stuck with yourself.

(not that i should have done anything other than ignore you, but...)

To the OP: as you already know you will have to find ways to love her differently. You're not alone. Some babies are very cuddly and snuggly and some are simply not. She may change some as she gets older or she may not. There's nothing wrong with preferring your older child's personality so long as you love them both for who they are and treat them equally as much as you possibly can.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for your input.

DO NOT FEED THE TROLL.

[Anonymous]

I could have written the original post about my DD at that age, and now at 4, she's the most affectionate, loving kid around. Hang in there, just because she's not affectionate now doesn't mean she won't end up that way.

[Anonymous]

I was just thinking about the second thing you wrote, that your child is not as verbally communicative and screams, and my 2nd is much more of a screamer. I think she learned this from DC#1 (possibly as a response to DC#1). Also I thought I had read that first children tend to be more verbal because when it's just 1 child to 1 or 2 parents, we tend to talk with them as if they are adults. Just a thought...

It's hard not to compare children but, as PPs said, each child is different. My older one goes through stages when he is less affectionate and I'm taking everything I can get now because I heard by the time boys start Kindergarten they don't want to be seen kissing mommy (not all boys of course).

[Anonymous]

OP,
troll here.
I'd advise you to read 5 LANGUAGES OF LOVE.
it shows that every human being loves and shows love in a different way.
this book will teach you how to understand the way your child shows love and the way you should show her you love her.

sorry for the way i've talked before. I just don't understand why people feel so frustrated and sad when children are so honest and spontaneous.
we should learn from them instead of complain about it.

[Anonymous]

Well, Miss Troll, maybe you should read your book and you will understand that "every human being loves and shows love in a different way" so you can understand why the OP feels sad when she doesn't receive the love she would like from her daughter. I can definitely understand why someone would feel sad and frustrated to not receive any physical affection from someone they love so much. I don't think she is complaining, I think she is seeking advice.

OP, I can understand why not receiving hugs or affection will make you feel sad, and possibly even rejected. I think your daughter may have learned a fun way to play with you and is thriving on playing "hard to get" as a way of getting some extra attention. It may be a game for her. Have you tried withholding the physical affection for a few days to see if she starts to come to you more? I think if you model the affection with her older sister, and try to not initiate with her, she will probably come around.

And if not, I still think you should hold back the affection for a while. Perhaps that is just the way she is after all. If so, then I think you will have to come to terms with the fact that she is not a touchy-feely girl like your first. Maybe Miss Troll's book will help you come to terms with that.

17 months is still so young! Give it time and I'm sure this stage will pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Have you tried withholding the physical affection for a few days to see if she starts to come to you more? I think if you model the affection with her older sister, and try to not initiate with her, she will probably come around.

LOL this is SO true. When my older daughter snuggles with me or hugs me, the toddler often screams and pushes her off my lap. Like older sister has her favorite toy. I am working on teaching baby to be gentle and nice to her older sister.