Where Do I Go for Help? 7 yr old behavior problems

[Anonymous]

Make sure you aren't getting stuck in a negative feedback loop with him. Sometimes you can get stuck in a cycle with kids that age where they get punished, act out, feel treated unfairly, which leads to more acting out, which leads to more punishment.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you aren't getting stuck in a negative feedback loop with him. Sometimes you can get stuck in a cycle with kids that age where they get punished, act out, feel treated unfairly, which leads to more acting out, which leads to more punishment.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you for all of the excellent suggestions. I even already own the Kazdin book, just need to work to put it into practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for all of the excellent suggestions. I even already own the Kazdin book, just need to work to put it into practice.

Find a behavioral therapist who can put a plan into action at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) - classes in Kensington and elsewhere in the DC area. I took PEP I and found it very helpful.

+1
They also have a phone consult option, if you want to
talk to one of their trainers directly about your specific issue. I've heard it's really helpful, a one time private parenting therapy/training over the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) - classes in Kensington and elsewhere in the DC area. I took PEP I and found it very helpful.

yes, this is helpful,

[Anonymous]

Rule out ADHD. This sounds like my son who has ADHD especially the constant talking. When he isn't on his medication, this describes him- non-stop talking, negative, contrary, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- How do I rule out ADHD? With the pediatrician or another specialist? Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rule out ADHD. This sounds like my son who has ADHD especially the constant talking. When he isn't on his medication, this describes him- non-stop talking, negative, contrary, etc.

A lot of kids are like this. I don't understand why you would drug up a kid just to make him more pleasant. Sorry, maybe there are other issues here, but the non stop talking and backtalking doesn't seem like behaviors that warrant being drugged up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I drug my child to stop him from talking too much. I didn't mention other symptoms as they do not apply to OP's situation.

[Anonymous]

You need physical punishment. Not spanking/beating, but the amazing perambulating woodpile. When he is disrespectful , he gets to move the woodpile. The chore should take at least an hour, involve moderate to heavy physical labor, and nothing with edges or that is easily breakable. Woodpiles, a yard worth of brush to be cut, sanding fences/trim, digging a garden plot, holes for plants----the woodpile works because it can move around the yard endlessly. I had a farm, so I had more choices. Bonus points if it's hot/cold/raining.

The point is to make the kid miserable in a way that he has time to attach cause and effect together.

[Anonymous]

You should take the ADHD evaluation (you can find them online). Often kids like your son struggle with relationships and self-esteem because they don't meet the typical ADHD symptoms. My friend's daughter was like this, she was the family black sheep until she went on meds.

[Anonymous]

I actually do not thin therapy is a bad idea. We found a big difference between reading a book and talking to someone who could answer our questions and work through specific examples. It also makes you more determined to follow through, as you have to report back. And helps both parents to be consistent in thier approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I drug my child to stop him from talking too much. I didn't mention other symptoms as they do not apply to OP's situation.

Hahahaha! I have a 7yo DC with ADHD and diagnosed with ODD at one point so a lot of this is familiar territory. I would add that not connecting behavior to consequence is also a red flag.

For OP, you can start with a pediatrician for a referral. Most people go to a developmental pediatrician or a psychologist for an evaluation.

With my kid, I've read a TON of books and agree with everything here. I also found that I have to physically separate kid and me when he started getting oppositional because he can not disengage otherwise. I'm always careful to talk about the behavior in very specific terms and not ascribe the behavior to him personally (bad behavior, not bad kid) or say things like "you always ...". We also do post incident analysis sometimes when we're cooled off. We do have a very strong relationship and I can see him working really hard to learn to calm himself.

I also look at external factors ... like how bedtime has slipped over the summer and that they have had more TV time. As we get into the stress of school we have to be extra careful to get them to bed on time, no TV during the school week, and consistent healthy meals. With all of those in place, his ability to self-regulate increases.

[Anonymous]

Dr Shapiro's class on raising your challenging child is really helpful.