Woman is 35 never married but dates a lot

[Anonymous]

For some reason I don't make any assumptions about never-married women in their late thirties, but with men of the same age, I do wonder what's going on with them (committment issues, baggage, etc). Not sure why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband at 35. He was 49. Neither of us had been married before. Neither of us is crazy. I did waste some time on knuckle-draggers like you and your friend in my 20s and early 30s. That's why I was so old.

How long have you been married, if you don't mind me asking? (NP here)

2 1/2 years.

Hope it's going well for you guys. I'm also 35 and some of my friends who have gotten married recently have been so stressed with trying to get pregnant right away that it's impacting their marriages. I don't think that has anything to do with never being married before, though! OP's question seems a little silly to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband at 35. He was 49. Neither of us had been married before. Neither of us is crazy. I did waste some time on knuckle-draggers like you and your friend in my 20s and early 30s. That's why I was so old.

How long have you been married, if you don't mind me asking? (NP here)

2 1/2 years.

Hope it's going well for you guys. I'm also 35 and some of my friends who have gotten married recently have been so stressed with trying to get pregnant right away that it's impacting their marriages. I don't think that has anything to do with never being married before, though! OP's question seems a little silly to me.

Well, I married at 37 and got pregnant right away, but have lost several pregnancies and still have not been able to have a child as I stare down the barrel of 40. Now we're spending a fortune on IVF, and we are not wealthy people. This has all been tough on the marriage, but getting married later in life is tough even without bringing children into it. It's hard to merge lives and homes after being on your own and independent for so long. My husband has been a much better sport about it than I have.

OP's question is absurd, though. It's completely normal for people - especially in this area - to marry later in life. D.C. is a very career-oriented town, and I think society has developed a resistance to commitment. You have to be so open and accepting to fully let someone else into your life - at any age, but particularly the older you get. People are generally not that way anymore, even if they think they are. Yet our culture is still built for couples - hopefully it'll become more singles-friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people marry young, discover their spouse is not the right partner for them and end up divorced with kids. Other people may be a bit gunshy and end up marrying later. Why does anyone in either group have to be crazy?

Because it's very important for women to threaten men who eschew marriage that they will never get laid again because all women will immediately judge them as "defective" due to being 30+ and unmarried.

[Anonymous]

Everyone I know in this age group who is unmarried, both male and female, are so picky it is unbelievable. Over the weekend, my 36 yr old friend told me she had to break up wtih her wonderful biochemist boyfriend, because he's "not the type to go up in a hot air balloon and what if she wants to do that one day". Seriously, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people marry young, discover their spouse is not the right partner for them and end up divorced with kids. Other people may be a bit gunshy and end up marrying later. Why does anyone in either group have to be crazy?

Because it's very important for women to threaten men who eschew marriage that they will never get laid again because all women will immediately judge them as "defective" due to being 30+ and unmarried.

A man was not being threatened in the OP. Only a woman who, judging by her age and marital status alone, must be one step from the loony bin. I see that presumption more often than the other way around. It's all silly.

[Anonymous]

I was a little younger, 32, and DH was 39. I had spent a long time with the wrong person -- and DH spent his 30's starting a company with little time left over for leisure or a relationship. We are doing great 5 years later.

My best friend, 36, wasted a lot of time with two bad seeds. She never experienced being on her own or "finding herself" in her 20's because she was always with this domineering guys. She realized enough to know they weren't right but took her forever to cut bait both times. Anyway, she is so amazing, beautiful and smart. She took time at 33 to be on her own. She moved away from DC at 34 and met the most incredible guy at 35. He is 36. They're getting married this year.

I wonder what the back story to OP is to think in such a ridiculous way. She/he sounds pretty narrow minded and uneducated.

[Anonymous]

red flag that warrants caution

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely. Any woman who is 35 and has never been married is obviously crazy.

LMAO.

Kind of like that nutcase Leonardo Dicaprio... he's 40 and unmarried. Watch out for the crazy train, folks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely. Any woman who is 35 and has never been married is obviously crazy.

LMAO.

Kind of like that nutcase Leonardo Dicaprio... he's 40 and unmarried. Watch out for the crazy train, folks!

Men can still have children in their 50s, women don't have that luxury.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what the back story to OP is to think in such a ridiculous way. She/he sounds pretty narrow minded and uneducated.

OP's wants her "friend" to date her. He's not interested and she thinks that if she steers him away from his current interest he'll turn his attention to her.

Which he won't, because she's petty and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely. Any woman who is 35 and has never been married is obviously crazy.

LMAO.

Kind of like that nutcase Leonardo Dicaprio... he's 40 and unmarried. Watch out for the crazy train, folks!

Men can still have children in their 50s, women don't have that luxury.

They can if they freeze their eggs.

And men really shouldn't.. much greater risk of birth defects and disabilities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know in this age group who is unmarried, both male and female, are so picky it is unbelievable. Over the weekend, my 36 yr old friend told me she had to break up wtih her wonderful biochemist boyfriend, because he's "not the type to go up in a hot air balloon and what if she wants to do that one day". Seriously, people.

Oh, God. I think people like that really want to be alone. They say they "deserve better," but deep down they don't believe they deserve someone as good as the one they've got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely. Any woman who is 35 and has never been married is obviously crazy.

LMAO.

Kind of like that nutcase Leonardo Dicaprio... he's 40 and unmarried. Watch out for the crazy train, folks!

Men can still have children in their 50s, women don't have that luxury.

They can if they freeze their eggs.

And men really shouldn't.. much greater risk of birth defects and disabilities

Yeah, just what the world needs. More 50+ year old women with babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a little younger, 32, and DH was 39. I had spent a long time with the wrong person -- and DH spent his 30's starting a company with little time left over for leisure or a relationship. We are doing great 5 years later.

My best friend, 36, wasted a lot of time with two bad seeds. She never experienced being on her own or "finding herself" in her 20's because she was always with this domineering guys. She realized enough to know they weren't right but took her forever to cut bait both times. Anyway, she is so amazing, beautiful and smart. She took time at 33 to be on her own. She moved away from DC at 34 and met the most incredible guy at 35. He is 36. They're getting married this year.

I wonder what the back story to OP is to think in such a ridiculous way. She/he sounds pretty narrow minded and uneducated.

Agreed.