If your spouse had an affair...

[Anonymous]

No. It's none of their business and their ill feelings towards him would just make everything tougher, since we're still together. It's hard having no one to talk to, though, for support. A therapist or support group might help. I vent a lot by writing in a journal.

[Anonymous]

My dw had a lengthy affair with her boss. I didn't tell anyone.

[Anonymous]

When my husband had an affair, I kept it secret from my friends and family. That was a big mistake. Isolation is a tool of the perpetrator -- crazy behavior can only survive in isolation because then the situation is one v. one. I regret that I didn't tell my family (both parents and brothers) and his family. There was a lot going on and I could have used the support. Now, even though we have broken up, most of his family seriously misunderstands our situation because they don't know why we broke up. It makes things very difficult. The reality check of telling other people about your situation and getting feedback is very valuable. I don't know why we keep this stuff secret. It's not my job to protect him from the natural consequences of his behavior.