Anyone catch their husband cheating twice

[Anonymous]

That's not cheating. That's choosing the other woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She suspects he's a sex addict. He has cheated before...
She thought they had moved past all of that and she found out about this woman several months ago. They have a small child she doesn't want a divorce. He has asked for one after she caught him with the woman the first time.

She should consider the possibility that he has bipolar depression. People with bipolar can have a manic phase that includes "hypersexuality". This hypersexuality is often mis-diagnosed as "sex addiction." The hypersexuality of mania can involve suddenly "falling in love" and having an intense affair with one partner, or it can involve multiple partners or seeming addiction to porn or some kind of novel sexual practice, use of escorts, etc. How hypersexuality of mania actually manifests can vary by individual, but the primary feature is a focus on sex to the extent of putting at risk other relationships, employment, or finances, etc.

Get her to read up on bipolar at the NAMI website or at NIMH. If the husband is bipolar, then proper medication with a proven mood stabilizer (like lithium or depakote) can bring the person out of mania and the risky sexual behavior stops (because it was an aspect of the mania). Bipolar patients should stay away from anti-depressant medications, which can drive mania and make it worse (including the hypersexual behavior). If bipolar, he should be seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in mood disorders and also a clinical psychologist for ongoing therapy about how to deal with the illness long term.

Unfortunately, it can be very hard to get someone who is in the middle of mania to seek treatment and take and stay on medications. Sometimes it is better to wait for the crash into depression, when they are more willing to seek help because they are in pain then. In mania, they think everything is great and you are the only problem. And, sadly, bipolar patients who seek treatment often having difficulty taking medications regularly, resulting in relapse. But, if the bipolar patient is willing to seek treatment and medication and stick with it, the long term outcomes can be OK.

[Anonymous]

If she truly will NOT divorce then she needs to detach emotionally and find her own boyfriend.