family failing, very sad

[Anonymous]

I'd get out. I would not let someone verbally abuse my son if I could help it.

[Anonymous]

The minute my child required therapy for help because of how his father was treating him would have been the minute I decided to file for divorce. Fuck that shit.

[Anonymous]

If you make the kid continue to live with a parent who makes his life miserable, he will never forget it and never forgive you. My elderly mother sits at home alone with very few family visits since she chose her spouse over her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:been with dh for 20 years, married 13. he has become the most selfish, overly sensitive man I have ever met. He is verbally abusing my son to the point my son is now in therapy to over come is esteem issue created by mr. perfect. I finally told my spouse that maybe he needs to find a new family because apparently we are not good enough for him. Every single thing becomes an issue. We can't sit at the kitchen table with out him ruining the time because of something. The list is too damn long. I am sure he is a narcissist. Matches every sign of one. I don't want to leave him but what else can I do? He will not even have a conversation about therapy, or anything for that matter. If I bring up something, its a fight. He use to be a loving, caring person. Now he doesn't even get close to me. I feel so unloved its painful. very lonely. and the thought of living like this for the rest of my life is very scary. I am 53 years old. I want to put prozac in his coffee! maybe he's depressed, but I don't think so. On the few occasions I have seen him with his work mates, he seems very happy. It's when he is with is family that the angry man comes out. really there is no answer, just a vent because I need to vent!

To some degree, everyone is a narcissist. If he was once loving and caring, then it's unlikely he truly fits the narcissist profile. Depression and anxiety is much more likely. I also think you need to be more honest about whether you and your DS might truly have some ingrained behaviors that are really just done to get under your DH's skin and push his buttons. The only behavior you can change is your own.

The kind of ongoing behavior described cannot be cured by OP and her son changing their behavior. It is not about particular behavior, it sounds like he simply does not like his family and has no interest in working on it. OP if you have tried to discuss the underlying behavior in a productive way and asked about going to therapy and he is not interested then I agree it is time to gets your financial and other affairs in order to plan your departure. Possibly that separation may change the dynamic with your son for the better.

[Anonymous]

I would go to a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. He may be the type of person who can only change under great duress. And if he does not change, you will be protecting yourself.

[Anonymous]

He's probably cheating. My X acted the same way during his cheating period. They start feeling superior with their "secret" and start deflecting their guilt on you by being mean. If he's such a d-CK to your son, get out of the marriage. Why would you even consider staying?? Your son deserves a supportive parent. You leave, your son will have some impact but will have a loving relationship with you and at some point can choose not to see his dad. If you stay, your son will distance himself from both of you as he gets older. Your H for being mean and you for standing by and watching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The minute my child required therapy for help because of how his father was treating him would have been the minute I decided to file for divorce. Fuck that shit.

+1

[Anonymous]

What does your child's therapist say? What do they say is best for him? Can you go speak with them about your concerns?

[Anonymous]

You should have titled this "Parents failing DS". Your husband has failed because he's abusing his DS. You failed because you haven't protected your DS from his father. Seriously! Your DS is in therapy and you're still with his father?

[Anonymous]

if your husband hit your son and you didn't protect him, you could both be charged with child abuse. Failure to protect is a reason kids enter foster care. YOU are abusing your kid.

Get therapy for yourself. See if your husband will see a doctor. Call a domestic violence hotline, see a lawyer, and start making a plan to leave.