What would you do? The opposite of redshirting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

It looks as though you might not know whether you made the right decision for some years. Your child is bright but the attention is a red flag for ADHD. This means that wherever he ends up he might struggle with attention issues, and may need classroom accommodations for that - seating in front, not near a window or distracting element, frequent breaks or teacher reminders to stay on task, etc.

My son ended up doing two Kindergartens in two different schools. We had done this in part because of his perceived immaturity and attention span. Then we realized he had ADHD and it wasn't getting any better since he was bored out of his mind, so he skipped ahead a year. Now he's not bored as much, but he still has attention issues and has support at school for this.

Boredom is a totally valid concern, unlike what other PPs are saying. But you can always work out with the teacher what advanced work he could be doing in school. You can also challenge him outside of school. If he is skipped ahead, he might feel physically inadequate compared to other boys who will be up to 2 years older than he is (the redshirted ones!).

There is not one right answer, OP. What feels right in the moment might need to be tweaked later on. Good luck figuring everything out!

My child is the same school-year as hers (going into the four year old class in the fall). Four year old boys are not known for their amazing attention span. I am sure he's normal for his age-preschool.

[Anonymous]

I think it is really hard on boys emotionally to be the youngest, weakest and smallest, especially in older grades.

[Anonymous]

OP here's what would give me pause. Your kid, who will be 5.5 when starting first grade, will be in a class with some kids who are already 7 and who may be as old as 7.5. That's the age span you are looking at. So while he might be fine in a class with a bunch of 6 year olds, it might be very different when the age spectrum is that broad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering if anyone has ever found themselves in this situation, and what you decided to do.

My son will be turning five on October 20th of this year. We know he's too late for K in Fairfax County, and we aren't questioning that.

For the last few years, he has been attending a very good bilingual preschool. He has completed their pre-K year curriculum successfully, can read and write in English very well (and in one more language) but is otherwise a typical boy. I don't want him to repeat the pre-K year because it is obvious to me he will be bored out of his skull. His attention span isn't the best, especially when he's bored, so I don't want to exacerbate this. So I am looking to enroll him in a private K program that accepts children born after the cut-off date.

My question is whether I will be able to enroll him in first grade in our neighborhood school when he completes the kindergarten year in private. I understand that no exceptions are granted for early enrollment in public K, but I *think* principals have discretion to evaluate children who graduated from private K for placement into first grade, even if their birthday falls after the cut-off date. Mind you, if after the private K year it becomes obvious that he isn't ready for 1st grade, I have no problem placing him in public K. I want him challenged but not miserable. But I want to have an option of placing him in first grade if he happens to be ready for it.

Does anyone have any experience with this? I figure I can't be the only parent with an October birthday boy. Who should I be contacting to figure that out?

I'd put him in a playbased program for the coming year. Research has shown that academically pushy PreK programs produce short term gains in reading, and long term deficits in attention. Play based programs are what develops the ability to self regulate and attend, Whether he's actually got problems in this area, or is simply age appropriate, kids with strong skills in these areas do so much better in the long term, I'd take this opportunity to develop those skills. The fact that he gets bored so easily is a sign that he hasn't been given the opportunity to explore things in an open ended manner, use his imagination, etc . . .

[Anonymous]

NP. Putting aside whether it's a good idea or not for the moment, can anyone answer if it can be done and, if so, how? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I don't think FCPS will do it.

[Anonymous]

I can't answer your question but wanted to offer my experience as the parent of an advanced/gifted october birthday boy.....

Take it for what it is worth but do not push your kid ahead. My son is in the grade he should be and is one of the oldest in his class. We don't regret it for one minute. I'll spare the details and I know every kid is different but this is our experience. You can't learn maturity and how to deal well with other kids from a book. Sure, school has been boring for him most times but he is way happier than if we had pushed him ahead.

[Anonymous]

Kindergarten, of all the grades in school, isn't about academics. It's about social and emotional skills, which are vital to your son's success for the rest of his life. Any decent school will stress this. So if your kid is very advanced socially and emotionally (doesn't sound like it from your post, which is normal, and boys usually aren't), then maybe consider putting him ahead a year.

Find him a junior kindergarten program somewhere for next year and then send him to K.

From a recent Wash Post article:

Kindergartners who share, cooperate and are helpful are more likely to have a college degree and a job 20 years later than children who lack those social skills, according to a new study.

Kids who get along well with others also are less likely to have substance-abuse problems and run-ins with the law.

The research, which involved tracking nearly 800 students for two decades, suggests that specific social-emotional skills among young children can be powerful predictors for success later in life.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/want-your-kids-to-go-to-college-and-get-a-job-make-sure-they-learn-how-to-share-in-kindergarten/2015/07/16/4c30726a-2b4e-11e5-a250-42bd812efc09_story.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents did this with me. I graduated valedictorian, got a full merit scholarship to undergrad and a full ride plus stipend to grad school. Plus, I was younger than almost everyone in college and so did not take part in the "bar scene" and was a straight arrow.

I'm now in an executive role at my full-time job and have started a successful business that's on track to replace my regular career within 2-3 years.

Yes, I'm certain there are children for whom starting early is a bad idea, but the research supports starting as early as a child can -- if you look at the research into red-shirting, the older children initially have an advantage, but it deteriorates around middle school. Ironically, because they are academically bored and sexually more mature than their peers, they are the ones who tend to get into social trouble rather than younger peers (which one of the PPs claimed, anecdotally, was likely to happen -- the research doesn't bear that out).

My son is a late fall birthday and I also hope to send him early if circumstances allow.

Are you a woman? If so, not a good comparison. Boys are different the whole way through. Their maturity, social stress points, and social pecking order norms are very different than girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think FCPS will do it.

Not true. It can be done. Each principal has the final say -- and they base that in part on the reputation of the preschool (if it is in their area). The preschool/K teacher will give their recommendation to the public school principal. Usually the preschool/K program will make sure the parents know that they cannot guarantee that the child will be put in 1st grade in public school. There are preschool/K programs that are known to be more "rigorous" (hate to use that word) and the principal will know that if s/he has been around for awhile.

There are pros and cons to pushing ahead. It sounds like OP's kid is pretty bright -- so it may be a good option for him/her. There are downsides to be the smallest/spazzy-est (I have a kid who fits that bill). Socially, he finds other kids who are similar emotionally/energy level and it works out. There are always going to be kids who are more calm/mature/focused and kids who are less calm/mature/focused... even within the normal age range for that grade level. Each group tends to find like-minded kids.

[Anonymous]

My parents did this with me, and it worked out poorly. I was small for my age anyway, and would have been on the late end for physical/emotional maturity even with my original age cohort.

Basically, my parents and the school only looked at the academic piece but not to see if all the other pieces were there. I would only recommend doing this if your son is ready to be in 1st grade on all levels - academically, physically, socially, and emotionally. If even one of those is more appropriate to his age cohort, I'd make it work with a junior kindy program next year and start him with his peers.

[Anonymous]

lots of schools have a Junior K or other program that is not quite kindergarten but more than the usual pre-K. We did that for our late Sept DS and I will always be grateful....academically he'd be fine a grade up, but socially he is so much better off where he is.

[Anonymous]

OP, yes, you can put him in private K and then have him assessed in the spring for placement in first. Principal discretion. FCPS can and does do this. State law only mandates 5 by 9/30 for K. There is no age restriction for first.

I think you are doing the right thing to meet his needs now and re-evaluate in the spring and summer. You can always enroll him in FCPS Kindergarten in the fall even if you have him assessed and they allow placement into first.

Many people on DCUM are automatically pro-red shirting for really bad reasons and many of those kids will get into trouble in their older years and will feel odd that they were held back. I have kids in MS and they know who is a year older. In reality, it is very kid-specific. Yes, we can't predict the future. Just use your best judgment and don't be swayed by the knee jerk redshirters.

I skipped K, was a year younger than everyone else and absolutely loved it! I was academically and socially successful. My confidence was boosted by how well I did in school despite being a year younger.

[Anonymous]

School isn't only for academics, it is equally important for socialization. It seems you are overly focused on academics, OP. Both of my kids starting kindergarten "advanced," and neither was bored. I would not want my child to be on a different social maturation timetable than his/her class mates.

[Anonymous]

I say this as a parent who had a very bright child who went into K knowing all the skills they needed to be in first: don't. K is about a lot more than academics. A child who skips it may be okay academically, but had a high likelihood of being behind socially and emotionally.