Everything is Competitive These Days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sitting here thinking about how everything is so competitive these days. Academics, sports, the arts, college admissions,... How do keep from feeling behind?

You seem to believe this is a new phenomenon. Why is that?

OP Here: Because compared to kids these days I was a relative slacker but I am relatively successful. I probably wouldn't even been able to make it to college if I was in high school this day and age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sitting here thinking about how everything is so competitive these days. Academics, sports, the arts, college admissions,... How do keep from feeling behind?

You seem to believe this is a new phenomenon. Why is that?

OP Here: Because compared to kids these days I was a relative slacker but I am relatively successful. I probably wouldn't even been able to make it to college if I was in high school this day and age.

What college did you attend?

I honestly don't think there's anything particularly new about this.

[Anonymous]

As someone who played college athletics and traveled around the country and to Europe to compete as a middle and high schooler- I can tell you, things have definitely gotten a great deal more competitive. I believe families having fewer children and greater disposable income (dual income) has ramped up sports b/c parents have more time and money to spend on their young athletes.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way. When I was a kid, you sort of had one thing -- there were the smart girls, the sporty girls, the popular girls, the artsy girls, and very little overlap. I was one of the smart girls, and was confident that was enough to get me into a top college. Now it seems like every teen girl I meet is beautiful, in all AP classes, plays multiple sports at a competitive level and is in a travel chorus or something on the side! The other day my E.S. kid said something about going to my alma mater, and I was thinking internally "Good luck! Better start mapping the genome now!"
Hopefully these all-star children will create a wonderfully strong economy that will save the Social Security system and support me in my old age.
And the PP that said she doesn't think there's anything new about this -- are you thirty or forty? If you're thirty, maybe nothing new, as you were part of the "baby boom boom" as it was called. If you're 40, then I do think it's a different ballgame for teens now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way. When I was a kid, you sort of had one thing -- there were the smart girls, the sporty girls, the popular girls, the artsy girls, and very little overlap. I was one of the smart girls, and was confident that was enough to get me into a top college. Now it seems like every teen girl I meet is beautiful, in all AP classes, plays multiple sports at a competitive level and is in a travel chorus or something on the side! The other day my E.S. kid said something about going to my alma mater, and I was thinking internally "Good luck! Better start mapping the genome now!"
Hopefully these all-star children will create a wonderfully strong economy that will save the Social Security system and support me in my old age.
And the PP that said she doesn't think there's anything new about this -- are you thirty or forty? If you're thirty, maybe nothing new, as you were part of the "baby boom boom" as it was called. If you're 40, then I do think it's a different ballgame for teens now.

Of course it's all new, people who pretend otherwise are just pretending. We are competing in every aspect of our lives globally. Here's a few example: 20 years ago the forbes global billionaires were mostly americans or western, and the they were Russians, and then the floodgates open with the internet age and cellular age and now you see many from Asia, Russia, Africa, Europe. US still have the most, but you see where I'm getting at. Knowledge is now lateral, with that, competition to climb above the rest and to set your self apart is insidious.
It is not just in business we are competing for viability globally, we do so evermore in sport too, basketball, baseball, tennis, and now there's a push to push american football in Europe too. Some people simply can't sweep the realities under the carpet and complain our jobs are going overseas. In a truly global market, EVERYTHING is competitive.

Basketball is now the biggest sport in China. Moreover, their economy has resulted in us paying more at the gas pump. OP, you're perceiving it right, but it is the information age that has made every aspect of our lives so competitive.

[Anonymous]

God you people are stupid and poorly informed. That's the real problem. Too much information is like putting a loaded gun in the hands of a toddler.

1. The reason why many foreign countries having minted many new millionaires and billionaires isn't because we've fallen behind or that they've caught up. In many ways they have become more like the US and privatized many businesses that were previously controlled by the state. However, it's a facade. In Russia, many of those businesses are still controlled by the state but there's a de facto owner who is controlled by the government. He or she is merely a balance sheet entry so to speak.

2. Gas is pretty much near or at an all-time low in constant dollars.

3. Truth is we've been screwed but not by them but by us.
The pay gap between workers and rank and file employees has never been greater that is if you're lucky enough to have a job. Benefits? What are you a Socialist expecting health care and what-not? What's wrong with you? A pension? You're kidding you Marxist.

4. Capital flows around the world in the blink of the eye. Americans have been deluded into thinking that screwing thy neighbor by living in a winner take all manner is the right thing to do. Every quarter companies are expected
to grow and if they don't please their Wall Street gods than woe upon them.

5. All of that money that now goes to the investor class and the .10% previously "trickled down" to workers through the aforementioned jobs and benefits. Now that money ends-up Chasing Alpha in some godforsaken venture trying to find Rare Earth metals in Mongolia.

6. Most of the 1% are slowly driving themselves crazy because of this "Keep Up With the Joneses" mentality. You've become just like a company expecting to do a little better each quarter and if you don't your overlords, that exist in your mind, come down hard on you.

7. What to do? Live below your means and have your kids, if they're not supremely talented at some sport focus on something practical. Tell the travel athletics coaches to go to hell and tell your peers that you're going to the Outer Banks instead Croatia. Send your DS/DD to the state school. No since in being like Martin O' Malley and find yourself $300K in debt to send your kid to the College of Charleston. Georgetown? Fine, but COC? Maryland is better, much better, than COC

8. Lastly, get off of the internet. It's taking all of the good things about life and destroying them for you.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, "no sense."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree OP and it can be so frustrating! However, I have learned over the years that you have to do what is right for you, your kids and your family and try as best you can to block or avoid the competitive environments. It might mean not being involved in a as many sports or activities for your kids, but it can mean you are happier and more satisfied in the long run. Your kids may push to do this and that, but remember that you are driving the train. Make the choices that fit best for your schedule and finances and keep in mind that what you don't get from standing on the sidelines for yet another sports game you will make up in family time.

Also, don't fall into the trap of feeling that you are the only one. Trust me when I say that there are plenty of other people who don't want to get caught up, but don't know how to say no and accept that they don't want to "keep up with the Joneses".

My kids are now young adults - one in high school and one in college - and I am so glad that I finally came to my senses and did things the way it worked for us and not from some dictated way that everyone around us was doing. MY DH and I decided we needed to slow it all down and concentrate on building our definition of success and competition. My kids are involved in sports, activities and community service. They are doing well in school, but are not perfect by any stretch. The had their struggles (like all kids do!!!!) and we helped them through. However, they are happy and satisfied with their lives. They still want to hang out with their parents (even my 15 year old son!) and we enjoy our family vacations and our dinners at the table. We have our silly family traditions and inside jokes. I would take that over competing with the kid down the street for grades, spot on the team or place in college any day of the week.

Bottom line - you need to decide how much you are really willing to fall into the trap because that is what it all is! Good luck!

Well said. We decided, when our kids were relatively young, to opt out of the whole competitive sports treadmill after trying a few seasons of various sports. No one was enjoying themselves and we realized what a huge waste of time it all was. Like PP, our kids are now in high school and college and still enjoy hanging out with us. Sometimes I think about all the time we gained as a family by opting out of organized sports, and I'm so grateful we went in that direction.

[Anonymous]

Funny thing --- my kids have been watching Leave it to Beaver on Netflix and in one of the episodes, I heard Ward and June lamenting that competitiveness started before high school to get into college and do well in sports.

Kind of interesting that we think of this is some new issue when it was being discussed on a tv show set in the late 50's/early 60's/

[Anonymous]

One of our daughters with six year old twins starting first grade is letting each girl participate in two activities. Brownies and piano for one; while the other will be Brownies and soccer. Both she and DH realize that the one interested in sports "could possibly" be drawn into the ramped up soccer teams in the future, but that is not going to happen because they see how busy they are with two working full-time and two active daughters with varied interests already. It is best to focus on your family unit and what works best for everyone within in it in terms of parental time, all the kids interests and ages considered as well as money for activities. As has been mentioned before on some boards here, college athletics is a real business now and pressure cooker for the college athletes. It is important to consider what comes along with the scholarship and what the college student's first job will be "to study" or "to play a sport for the college's revenue base." It may not be as intense in lesser sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing --- my kids have been watching Leave it to Beaver on Netflix and in one of the episodes, I heard Ward and June lamenting that competitiveness started before high school to get into college and do well in sports.

Kind of interesting that we think of this is some new issue when it was being discussed on a tv show set in the late 50's/early 60's/

The word isn't new, but how it plays out certainly reaches new heights every year. Ask any seasoned teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing --- my kids have been watching Leave it to Beaver on Netflix and in one of the episodes, I heard Ward and June lamenting that competitiveness started before high school to get into college and do well in sports.

Kind of interesting that we think of this is some new issue when it was being discussed on a tv show set in the late 50's/early 60's/

The word isn't new, but how it plays out certainly reaches new heights every year. Ask any seasoned teacher.

It depends on where you went to HS. There have always been pockets of competitiveness- there are just more now. I went to HS in metro Boston and it was as competitive as my DC's here in McLean, if not more so. We had 23 NMF and 10% went Ivy- two dozen to Harvard alone out of a class of 625 (yes, many were children of professors, but they still had to get in). The top 20% took as many AP classes as they could. Class of 1982.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing --- my kids have been watching Leave it to Beaver on Netflix and in one of the episodes, I heard Ward and June lamenting that competitiveness started before high school to get into college and do well in sports.

Kind of interesting that we think of this is some new issue when it was being discussed on a tv show set in the late 50's/early 60's/

The word isn't new, but how it plays out certainly reaches new heights every year. Ask any seasoned teacher.

It depends on where you went to HS. There have always been pockets of competitiveness- there are just more now. I went to HS in metro Boston and it was as competitive as my DC's here in McLean, if not more so. We had 23 NMF and 10% went Ivy- two dozen to Harvard alone out of a class of 625 (yes, many were children of professors, but they still had to get in). The top 20% took as many AP classes as they could. Class of 1982.

+1

I grew up in a close-in northern NJ suburb of Manhattan & graduated from high school in the mid-90s. The competition, stress & workload in high school (& even middle school) was insane. I've vowed to put my own kids' mental health first & to do what I can to discourage the rat race mentality early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing --- my kids have been watching Leave it to Beaver on Netflix and in one of the episodes, I heard Ward and June lamenting that competitiveness started before high school to get into college and do well in sports.

Kind of interesting that we think of this is some new issue when it was being discussed on a tv show set in the late 50's/early 60's/

The word isn't new, but how it plays out certainly reaches new heights every year. Ask any seasoned teacher.

It depends on where you went to HS. There have always been pockets of competitiveness- there are just more now. I went to HS in metro Boston and it was as competitive as my DC's here in McLean, if not more so. We had 23 NMF and 10% went Ivy- two dozen to Harvard alone out of a class of 625 (yes, many were children of professors, but they still had to get in). The top 20% took as many AP classes as they could. Class of 1982.

+1

I grew up in a close-in northern NJ suburb of Manhattan & graduated from high school in the mid-90s. The competition, stress & workload in high school (& even middle school) was insane. I've vowed to put my own kids' mental health first & to do what I can to discourage the rat race mentality early on.

Do you think being in the rat race helped those people achieve whatever goals they set (thus the reason for the stress and competition?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing --- my kids have been watching Leave it to Beaver on Netflix and in one of the episodes, I heard Ward and June lamenting that competitiveness started before high school to get into college and do well in sports.

Kind of interesting that we think of this is some new issue when it was being discussed on a tv show set in the late 50's/early 60's/

The word isn't new, but how it plays out certainly reaches new heights every year. Ask any seasoned teacher.

Nope, it wasn't just the word it was the concept. It was actually mentioned in 2 episodes, one in regards to academics and the race to get ready for college pre high school and then another reference to how competitive Baseball was an how Little League wasn't like it used to be. Even caught some lines with Wally lamenting high school as competitive.

So no, things didn't get more competitive. What has changed has been the ease with which parents find out about and share information about their fight to be competitive.