not sure how to help/advise a friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friend is a selfish ass. Who picks a job over their spouse? He opted to leave his wife to move abroad. Happily married people don't do that. He's distant because he is literally distant...in another country. If he wants to stay married, then he needs to move home and live with his wife. Period. This isn't rocket science.

Someone who can't find a job where his wife wants to live.

Then he's not being creative enough. There is lots of career diversity in the U.S. It may mean they sacrifice some of the perceived affluence they have in certain areas by moving to another, but a domestic flight to see family is less a burden than an international flight.

OP, somehow I get the impression a that you're more involved as a friend than you should be. Everyone represents their own story like they're the hero. I'm glad your friend is so awesome, but dragging a partner who doesn't want to be dragged around internationally makes no hero. Being a trailing. Spouse is a huge burden, and not for everyone. Yep, you may find a job, but it's not necessarily the job that you want. There is little room for advancement. There are missed personal opportunities. It's not all bad, but trust me, jetting around on a spouses whim isn't all good, either.

In this case, they've tried. She does not want to be the trailing spouse, which is fair. She tried.

Your friend just needs to decide which route is actually more important to him: career or family. Because it seems at the moment, they are incompatible.