bully coworker

[Anonymous]

We recently had someone file a hostile work environment complaint with HR against a colleague, unfortunately completely unjustified.

The colleague was cleared after an investigation and yet HR is bending itself bakcward trying to get the person another position within the agency--all the rules that are supposed to apply miraculously are not applying. HR will take your complaint seriously if they think there is any chance of a lawsuit

HR complaints are a real pain and time suck for bosses to deal with. Consider going back to your boss and telling him that not only has the bullying not stopped but the bully has taken retaliatory action. You don't want to go to HR but you don't want to work in a hostile work environment either so you are beginning to think you have no choice.

Sit back and listen to the what the boss has to say then--I am guessing just the idea of having to deal with HR will spur him to some real action. If he asks for a few days to straighten this out, give it to him. I wouldn't give more than a week. If nothing tangible and reasonably significant has happened by then, go to HR, giving your boss a courtesy head's up with an apology that you are sorry it didn't work but as the situation is intolerable you have to go to HR.

Of course as other pps have said, document everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently had someone file a hostile work environment complaint with HR against a colleague, unfortunately completely unjustified.

The colleague was cleared after an investigation and yet HR is bending itself bakcward trying to get the person another position within the agency--all the rules that are supposed to apply miraculously are not applying. HR will take your complaint seriously if they think there is any chance of a lawsuit

HR complaints are a real pain and time suck for bosses to deal with. Consider going back to your boss and telling him that not only has the bullying not stopped but the bully has taken retaliatory action. You don't want to go to HR but you don't want to work in a hostile work environment either so you are beginning to think you have no choice.

Sit back and listen to the what the boss has to say then--I am guessing just the idea of having to deal with HR will spur him to some real action. If he asks for a few days to straighten this out, give it to him. I wouldn't give more than a week. If nothing tangible and reasonably significant has happened by then, go to HR, giving your boss a courtesy head's up with an apology that you are sorry it didn't work but as the situation is intolerable you have to go to HR.

Of course as other pps have said, document everything.

I disagree with this advice. (I'm a PP on this thread, not a NP.)

If the bully is retaliating against OP, then the boss didn't handle it well when OP complained. The boss OBVIOUSLY told the bully who complained. Otherwise, the bully would not know where to direct the retaliation. That tells me the boss is incompetent (at least when it comes to managing sensitive workplace issues like this).

Also, if OP did not document her complaint to the boss, then she will have a difficult time proving retaliation. If she goes to HR, it's documented. So if something severe happens AFTER she reports bully to HR, then she will have a clear case to show that she is being retaliated against. It will protect her.

I'm not and never have been a big fan of HR. But I've learned the hard way that even if your boss pretends he/she is on your side, you can't trust that. If the bully is a long-term employee and is as horrible as OP describes, then the boss likely just does not want to deal with it. Or is incapable of dealing with it, especially if the bully does his work. But the mere fact that it seems the bully knows OP went to the boss tells me that the boss is not the one to go to.

OP needs to have clear examples of the bullying/hostility and she needs to take it to HR. If he retaliates after that, there is a record.

All that said, I still think OP's best option is to devise an exit strategy.

It seems to me that OP has already given the boss the courtesy of a heads up, but the boss is unwilling and/or unable to deal with the problem.

One caveat: OP, if you go to HR, there could be drastic action. The boss could get very cold with you. There could be a lot more bureaucracy and reporting required. But if you have reached the end of your rope with this bully, then maybe it is worth it.

I have no sympathy for bosses complaining about how HR complaints are a pain. In EVERY case I know of where a coworker has gone to HR, it's because the boss/manager failed to address the situation out of complacency. If managers don't want HR involved, then they need to manage effectively. And part of managing effectively is dealing with these kinds of issues.

If I were OP's boss, at the very least I would figure out a way to reduce how much OP and bully had to interact. And there is ALWAYS a way to do that. At the very least, I would say, "OP, make all requests directly to me and I'll make sure bully gets you what you need."

[Anonymous]

PP here. We do know the boss spoke to the employee in question. My advice was premised, perhaps wrongly, on believing the boss didn't know about the retaliation. That ups the ante considerably for the boss and, hence the need for him to take much stronger action--like steps to eliminate OP's interaction with bully.

If OP has good reason to believe that the boss knows about the retaliation and has done nothing or that the boss could take it out on OP that he/she is is continuing to pose a problem to him, I agree OP should go straight to HR.

BTW in our recent case, the employee went straight to HR without giving any inkling to any of her supervisors. It came the week she had made a significant error of commission on a project that she was called out for firmly but with assurances we would work through it. It was a real red flag IMO that she went straight to HR to accuse her colleague--strong indication her accusations were groundless as even HR eventually concluded. Just saying there is an exception to EVERY case...

[Anonymous]

One thing to consider is that career bullies will usually do advance prep work with whomever the authority is. So the authority figures are often willing or unwitting allies of the bully. One common tactic is that the bully makes the boss/teacher/whomever believe that HE is in fact being mistreated by his target.

The bully would not retaliate if he felt his position to be threatened, or that the boss would take disciplinary measures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is that career bullies will usually do advance prep work with whomever the authority is. So the authority figures are often willing or unwitting allies of the bully. One common tactic is that the bully makes the boss/teacher/whomever believe that HE is in fact being mistreated by his target.

The bully would not retaliate if he felt his position to be threatened, or that the boss would take disciplinary measures.

Good point. If OP has any reason to believe this is the case it definitely strengthens the case for her to go to HR now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. We do know the boss spoke to the employee in question. My advice was premised, perhaps wrongly, on believing the boss didn't know about the retaliation. That ups the ante considerably for the boss and, hence the need for him to take much stronger action--like steps to eliminate OP's interaction with bully.

If OP has good reason to believe that the boss knows about the retaliation and has done nothing or that the boss could take it out on OP that he/she is is continuing to pose a problem to him, I agree OP should go straight to HR.

BTW in our recent case, the employee went straight to HR without giving any inkling to any of her supervisors. It came the week she had made a significant error of commission on a project that she was called out for firmly but with assurances we would work through it. It was a real red flag IMO that she went straight to HR to accuse her colleague--strong indication her accusations were groundless as even HR eventually concluded. Just saying there is an exception to EVERY case...

I disagree. Okay, in that case, HR investigated and employee's claims were baseless.

But on the whole, my experience is that unless you are really tight with your boss, issues of hostile work environment should go straight to HR. Managers and bosses DON'T want things to go to HR because it creates a hassle for them. So there is always a risk that when you go to your boss, you will either be just ignored or appeased (best case scenario) or the boss will make it worse, intentionally or, i think in OP's case, unintentionally.

And often -- VERY OFTEN -- the boss is part of the problem, again intentionally or unintentionally. At the very least, find out what HR's policy is on confidentiality. Go to HR and tell them what's going on, tell them that you are going to try to address it with your boss, but you wanted them to be aware and you will follow up.

If you do go to your boss first, make sure you have a written record of your exact complaint. So if you have a conversation with the boss, follow it up with an email to have a clear record.

If OP's boss is saying he can't do anything and that OP should document, then, again, unintentionally or intentionally, he's part of the problem. He is the one who should be documenting. He is the manager. He's not powerless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is that career bullies will usually do advance prep work with whomever the authority is. So the authority figures are often willing or unwitting allies of the bully. One common tactic is that the bully makes the boss/teacher/whomever believe that HE is in fact being mistreated by his target.

The bully would not retaliate if he felt his position to be threatened, or that the boss would take disciplinary measures.

PP here. Exactly. OP already took this to the boss. The boss can't or won't address it. It's either time to go to HR or it's time to find another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the kind of crap I envision happening every day, in every govt office, all the time.

And this doesn't happen in the private sector? Oh please, I've been on both sides, and it can tell you it's easily tolerated in the private sector, especially if the perp is bringing in business for the company. Get off your high horse, idiot.