Separation to stay married

[Anonymous]

What's wrong in the day to day aspects OP? I'm being serious. Your husband was able to get a job across the country which isn't easy when you live in another state. If you gave some specifics, maybe we could offer some real advice. In any event, don't expect your husband to move to the new city and then sit in his cheap apartment pining for you. He'll choose a home that works for him, not you as a couple or you as a family. He will probably meet a girlfriend. How will you handle it if he falls in love and/or gets her pregnant? My point is that there isn't anything so special about you that will make this "separating to stay married" nonsense work. I read your post as someone who has the hots for one of their kids' teachers or coaches and wants to explore that while having the safety net of a husband to fall back on. "work on ourselves" is code for "I want to screw someone else and if we like each other outside the bedroom, my old relationship is history".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong in the day to day aspects OP? I'm being serious. Your husband was able to get a job across the country which isn't easy when you live in another state. If you gave some specifics, maybe we could offer some real advice. In any event, don't expect your husband to move to the new city and then sit in his cheap apartment pining for you. He'll choose a home that works for him, not you as a couple or you as a family. He will probably meet a girlfriend. How will you handle it if he falls in love and/or gets her pregnant? My point is that there isn't anything so special about you that will make this "separating to stay married" nonsense work. I read your post as someone who has the hots for one of their kids' teachers or coaches and wants to explore that while having the safety net of a husband to fall back on. "work on ourselves" is code for "I want to screw someone else and if we like each other outside the bedroom, my old relationship is history".

You're being pretty judgmental, but this is DCUM, so I'll let it slide.

Where to start? DH seems constantly pissed off, irritated, bothered, frustrated. Quick to anger, to blame, to criticize, to nitpick. Addiction issues. Emotional distance and lack of intimacy. Generally unkind and unthoughtful. I feel taken for granted and unappreciated. For every good day (no tension, no arguments) that we have, we probably have 15-20 shitty days together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong in the day to day aspects OP? I'm being serious. Your husband was able to get a job across the country which isn't easy when you live in another state. If you gave some specifics, maybe we could offer some real advice. In any event, don't expect your husband to move to the new city and then sit in his cheap apartment pining for you. He'll choose a home that works for him, not you as a couple or you as a family. He will probably meet a girlfriend. How will you handle it if he falls in love and/or gets her pregnant? My point is that there isn't anything so special about you that will make this "separating to stay married" nonsense work. I read your post as someone who has the hots for one of their kids' teachers or coaches and wants to explore that while having the safety net of a husband to fall back on. "work on ourselves" is code for "I want to screw someone else and if we like each other outside the bedroom, my old relationship is history".

You're being pretty judgmental, but this is DCUM, so I'll let it slide.

Where to start? DH seems constantly pissed off, irritated, bothered, frustrated. Quick to anger, to blame, to criticize, to nitpick. Addiction issues. Emotional distance and lack of intimacy. Generally unkind and unthoughtful. I feel taken for granted and unappreciated. For every good day (no tension, no arguments) that we have, we probably have 15-20 shitty days together.

So why not mention this up front?