Response Time.. MIL

[Anonymous]

OP here. I would absolutely stay. I would never presume she would just want me to drop them off. I guess I just thought they would like us to visit, and since I really left the time frame wide open assumed they would want to check their schedules to see if there was a weekend that would fit. We usually do stay with them, so again, I made the assumption that staying with them would be fine as usual. I realize now that perhaps these assumptions were maybe not the best.

I had not thought that was pushy.. but now I am wondering and feeling terrible if offering to bring them would cause offense. She just isn't the type of person who would ever ask us to come. We always have to offer to come. Knowing they would never ask, and knowing my husband can't travel, I just knew that if we went up there at all this summer I would have to make the first move.

I think I will wait a little longer, then email as suggested. Offer a few dates that maybe work a bit better for us and give her a time frame for response.

[Anonymous]

At this point, I would probably just let your DH know about the offer and have him follow up with his mother.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your STEP-fil doesn't want his STEP- grand kids around for some reason. Your mil may want to see the kids but not enough to fight with him about it.

[Anonymous]

I think that following up with three suggested dates would be pushy. You already made the offer as you did, let her respond or gently let it go.

Next time, you could try the three suggested dates thing. Not this time.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's been only a week. This is a REALLY busy time of year. Seriously. This is not about you.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you were pushy for offering to visit for what it's worth.

That said, I don't think a week is that long of a response time if you have to coordinate other people's schedules. My in-laws do this to us, they want to book times to visit and don't seem to comprehend that we have other commitments to juggle and we don't always know the exact dates. So they start pushing us for weekends that are good for us and get frustrated when we can't answer them immediately.

Your MiL may be waiting to hear what the step-kids schedules are (especially if there is a shared custody situation) before she can let you know what works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you were pushy for offering to visit for what it's worth.

That said, I don't think a week is that long of a response time if you have to coordinate other people's schedules. My in-laws do this to us, they want to book times to visit and don't seem to comprehend that we have other commitments to juggle and we don't always know the exact dates. So they start pushing us for weekends that are good for us and get frustrated when we can't answer them immediately.

Your MiL may be waiting to hear what the step-kids schedules are (especially if there is a shared custody situation) before she can let you know what works.

+1. Don't underestimate what a colossal pain in the ass scheduling busy teenagers in a complicated family can be.