husband desperate to be a dad

[Anonymous]

Exactly! If the husband is so desperate to have a child he wouldn't hesitate to go to a doctor's office and ejaculate! Besides you can always do it at home and bring it in. But that is besides the point. Nor would he have married a woman he know couldn't have any more children. There are some serious problem in this relationship and I would advise them to RUN and seek professional help. The fact that this was even considered is beyond belief. Additionally, as the last poster pointed out, all their issues aside, what about the child? Why would you put a child in that situation simply because the husband wanted to do it his way?

[Anonymous]

This could really jeopardize a family relationship as it becomes a really messy love triangle (even if there is no love/lust involved). Would the stepdaughter and husband ever be able to make eye contact again? Would mom feel any resentment? And that is the tip of the iceberg - money, raising the child, relinquishing rights, etc.

A husband horny enough for his stepdaughter to ejaculate is disturbing no matter what the intention is.

Is it even legal?? Biologicially, I understand there is no blood relation, but in the eyes of the law, I think this would be considered incest.

[Anonymous]

One more thought just occurred to me. How old are this women's other children? How old was the daughter at the time her mother married her step-father?

Is there a chance that this man married the women to get to her children? I've heard that it's common for pedophiles to do this.

[Anonymous]

whats going to happen if he wants more children. or if it takes numeroud time to impregnate her? This lady needs to put her Nikes on and RUN to the closest divorce lawyer, something is not right here.

[Anonymous]

There are some cases were judgement isn't wrong.

This is one of them.

Judge your friend and tell her the truth. She's got a serious problem if she is actually even willing to listen to such an idea and she need the care of a mental health professional. People in their right mind DO NOT think of or suggest such ideas as good.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone called Jerry Springer?

[Anonymous]

Ok i think OP has gotten the point -- everyone unanimously agrees that this is truly f-ed up -- and we RARELY see unanimous agreement and consensus on this board!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think we've piled on enough (me included). OP, can you give us an update at some point? What are your thoughts now? Do you have plans to talk to your friend at some point and if so, what do you think you'll say?

[Anonymous]

So this guy is so DESPERATE!!!!!! to become a dad only he
1)doesn't want to spend a dime to do it and 2) doesn't want to exert any effort aside from screwing his young daughter-in-law.

My husband who was hoping to become a dad had absolutely no problem with paying out thousands upon thousands for 3 IVF cycles and doing his thing in a cup approx. 10 times over the course of diagnosis and treatment.


This woman needs to run far, far away.

[Anonymous]

I have said this to her and I will say it again. The same thing, I said, it sounds to me like hearts could be broken and I'm afraid it will be yours. I threw out some what-if situations as in what if your husband runs off with your daughter and THEIR baby? She said I was being paranoid and that they would never do something like that. I am related to the people involved so I am very concerned and afraid they are going to do something so stupid. I told her its not like breaking a vase, it can't be put back together again if everything goes off-plan. Can't unborn a baby. It's the selfishness that I wish she could understand. She is doing it in my opinion, to keep her husband, he's doing it because he wants a bio child and maybe even because he wants something more with the daughter, and again in my opinion, the daughter is doing it to be kept afloat financially without having to go out to work.

Anonymous wrote:She is, if she goes through with it, setting herself up for heartbreak.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe it is incest. This is why I'm having to stay anonymous becuase I don't want anyone calling the cops! No, this is her second husband. She married him when daughter was an older teen and already living out of the house. This man did not adopt the daughter or anything like that. There is no legal relationship between them and he has never been fatherly toward her. She has a normal relationship with her biological dad and always has. They are just two adults who have no relationship other than he is married to her mom.

Is it even legal?? Biologicially, I understand there is no blood relation, but in the eyes of the law, I think this would be considered incest.

[Anonymous]

I do not think he is a pedophile. Her other children are older and only one lives home when on break from school. The daughter is in her 20s she is definitely not a child. She is what I would consider too young for the stepfather but not in an illegal sense.

Anonymous wrote:One more thought just occurred to me. How old are this women's other children? How old was the daughter at the time her mother married her step-father?

Is there a chance that this man married the women to get to her children? I've heard that it's common for pedophiles to do this.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could have her read all the comments but even though no names were named, she would be livid with me for doing this. She put such a huge issue on my one set of shoulders I needed some feedback to make sure I wasn't overreacting. From the moment she told me I have been horrified. I knew something was brewing over there, she kept saying I'll you later, then I get this soap opera nightmare dumped on me and she is acting like I am abandoning her because I can't support it. The daughter has been be-bopping around the house like an immature 16 year old instead of the nearly 23 year old mom she really is, and the husband seems more intense than usual. I could tell he's been putting pressure on her over this. I'm afraid that she will chicken out about going to a lawyer and do this on the fly and all hell will break loose. He has already gone down the path of saying why pay for doctors? now its why pay for attorneys? She said she was going to do it "secretly" but I told her she would need signatures from the both of them so it's not a secret she can keep.

It's a mess and I hope it goes no further but I am alarmed that the daughter's living at the home for the past two weeks even though she has her own apartment. Her mom's not getting much sleep this days and though she wont say it I know it's because she wants to have one eye open at all times to make sure they aren't starting without her.

Thanks for all the opinions. It strengthens my own opinion which I'm going to state more clearly than ever to her now and let the chips fall where they may.

Anonymous wrote:Ok i think OP has gotten the point -- everyone unanimously agrees that this is truly f-ed up -- and we RARELY see unanimous agreement and consensus on this board!

[Anonymous]

OP, good luck. I really hope you can make your friend understand how doing this could destroy her life. It appears that she's willing to do this because she thinks it will salvage her marriage to this psychotically selfish man, but all she will do is jeopardize her relationship with every loved one in her life, create nightmarish legal entanglements that will ruin her emotionally and financially, and bring a child into the world who will suffer as a result of her husband's and daughter's actions. I feel for you and for her. It is a terrible situation and I hope you can help her. Good luck. Please let us know what happens.

[Anonymous]

I will post an update. Thanks to all for the support and advice. I feel better just being able to "say it out loud". Once I saw my own post and the responses in black and white it really hit home that this situation is a powder keg waiting to be set off with an innocent baby. I hope she sees the light of day. thanks again.

Anonymous wrote:

OP, good luck. I really hope you can make your friend understand how doing this could destroy her life. It appears that she's willing to do this because she thinks it will salvage her marriage to this psychotically selfish man, but all she will do is jeopardize her relationship with every loved one in her life, create nightmarish legal entanglements that will ruin her emotionally and financially, and bring a child into the world who will suffer as a result of her husband's and daughter's actions. I feel for you and for her. It is a terrible situation and I hope you can help her. Good luck. Please let us know what happens.