Coparenting

[Anonymous]

I don't think its s big deal for them to spend time together.
My ex and I did this during our children's childhood. They are adults now. I encouraged this when I was dating a man with children. It's nice being true friends with your children's other parent

[Anonymous]

Considering that she still has strong feelings about your boyfriend, it would be totally inappropriate for him to do things with her...Even for the child.

And him knowing she still wants him...Well he should know better than to ask you to be okay with a set-up such as this.

If there were no romantic feelings at all, I could see how this could work out, but there are and he knows it.

So if I were in your position, I wouldn't be okay with this arrangement. Your man shouldn't have the gall to ask you to be either.

Co-parenting does not mean both parents need to be present on a weekly basis for their child. Most couples who co-parent do it individually.

[Anonymous]

It would be beneficial if you could work it out. My ex and I still do family related activities with our kids. We will plan a family outing or dinner once a month or so. His new girlfriend is aware. We chose to do this to maintain normalcy in our children's lives. We still get along but have no romantic interest in each other. It can be hard for people we are dating to understand but we are very open about it.

Have you tried to make a large family outing where you and your boyfriend and his ex and all the kids can bond? That may be beneficial.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you're really his primary relationship? Sounds like he wants to go back and forth alternately screwing you and hisnother baby momma.

He obviously doesn't have any respect for you nor you for yourself or by now he'd have put a ring on it. So he's just going to do as he pleases and if you nag him too much he will find Slut #3 and impregnate her too (assuming he hasn't done that already.)

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend sounds like he's high drama himself. If they have a formal order, abide by it or seek to have it amended for more visitation. Period. If he's had a child with you and he's still entertaining these conversations, he probably enjoys the drama and attention in some form. Women just don't have that kind of power anymore. He could probably have joint custody if he wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be beneficial if you could work it out. My ex and I still do family related activities with our kids. We will plan a family outing or dinner once a month or so. His new girlfriend is aware. We chose to do this to maintain normalcy in our children's lives. We still get along but have no romantic interest in each other. It can be hard for people we are dating to understand but we are very open about it.

Have you tried to make a large family outing where you and your boyfriend and his ex and all the kids can bond? That may be beneficial.

OP here. Seeing as though she has clearly stated she does not want me with him, doesn't like me, etc., its nearly impossible for us all to have an outing together. Her interest is getting him back. I wish we could all get along, but she just isn't willing to get along with me. Even if I remove myself from the situation, she still just wants him back. If she didn't still have feelings for him, it would definitely make sense for them to spend time together with their child, and I would be okay with it. But because she has an ulterior motive, I don't see what good can come out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend sounds like he's high drama himself. If they have a formal order, abide by it or seek to have it amended for more visitation. Period. If he's had a child with you and he's still entertaining these conversations, he probably enjoys the drama and attention in some form. Women just don't have that kind of power anymore. He could probably have joint custody if he wanted.

OP here. You make a great point! I think he secretly likes the fact that someone else wants him. It's like he feels like he's "still got it". I think that may be why he's even entertaining this BS. Makes sense. I do agree that since they have a formal order, there is no need to do anything outside of that. If he wants his son more, he should increase his visitation. Thanks!

[jsteele]

Please continue this is the duplicate thread:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/477626.page