Redshirting pressure from private school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you OP. I think we've shifted too far if now May birthdays are considered young for their grade. When we were in school, the trend was having "advanced" kids skip a grade. That was the conventional wisdom on giving your children an advantage. Now the pendulum has swung the other way and holding kids back a year is thought to be advantageous.

I also agree with the poster who said that we should move the school calendar so that it starts in January, instead of Sept.

You could move to Australia where the schoolyear does start in Jan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a son, born in July. We did not hold him back, and he is in private school. He is one of the youngest, but he is truly thriving in every way. He is now in 2nd grade. I cannot imagine how bored and understimulated he would have been had he repeated kindergarten. Its one thing if a child truly isn't ready to move forward, but when they are, even if they are young from a chronological standpoint, they may really be ready from a developmental standpoint. And boring a child who shows readiness, by having them repeat, should not be the goal of the parent or school.

I thought a good part of the reason we are paying $30k per kid per year is for the schools to make sure our kid is challenged and not bored... regardless of whether they are ahead or a little behind the class. I agree with you that in public school, where they are forced to "teach to the test" or "teach to the middle" this is problematic... but in a top independent school that focuses on the individualized learning styles and pace of kids even within the same class (I think they call it differentiated learning?) the that should not be a big problem.

What this all comes down to is parents who are making the decision to hold back should be doing it in order to avoid giving their DC a DISADVANTAGE relative to the rest of the class, rather than doing it to give them an ADVANTAGE. So, the decision should be based on the development stage of the child and whether by 5 years and 1-3 months they are ready for today's K (yesterday's 1st grade).

Likewise, those parents arguing against this need to take a moment to consider if their motivation... are they concerned about the class as a whole (which should not be as big a deal in a differentiated learning environment) or are they just wanting their DC to have an ADVANTAGE over the kid who does not yet have the processing, motor, social maturity skills fully developed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What defines "summer birthdays"? I have a son born in June - will he make the cut? OR be the youngest in his class?

We're dealing with a June birthday, too. It's the worst possible scenario. In the last 2 years, I've toured about 15 private Kindergartens, and I have yet to see one June birthday on the birthday chart on the wall. The charts are filled with fall and winter birthdays, with a few spring birthdays sprinkled in. There are often a few July or August birthdays, but they're from the year before (the redshirts). No Junes. It stinks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I am being pressured to redshirt my son born in August, who is eligible to start Kind. in the fall. I thought for sure that he was ready for K but have noticed since day 1 of visiting the school that it seems to be set on the notion that children with summer birthdays (esp. boys) are better off waiting until they are 6. Call me naive, but I was floored that all this was going on. When I was in school, no one seemed to give birthdays a second thought. We had kids who skipped grades, but no one who "started late," and very few who were "held back." Being young and excelling was more admirable than being old and excelling...At this school, I have learned that several are redshirted, esp. the boys, and several boys and girls repeat K each year (the school points out that it's mostly the younger ones). Also floored that the school told me that is has recommended that a girl with a September birthday be held back based on her age and maturity alone -- even though, acc. to the teacher, "If I were giving grades, though, she'd be a straight A student." Does this seem justified to you? Why oh why would you ever hold back a straight-A student based on relative age alone? Has school really changed that much?

How amazing that a school wants a kid to wait until they're 6 to start kindergarten. Back in the stone age, I started first grade at age 5 (November birthday) and was bored out of my mind, since I could already read and the other students were starting to learn. It would have been unbearable if I'd had to wait another year to start first grade.

It just seems sad and depressing to take a bright kid, ready and excited to learn, and make them repeat a grade so they can spend a year going over stuff they already know. What better way to inspire an aversion to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What defines "summer birthdays"? I have a son born in June - will he make the cut? OR be the youngest in his class?

We're dealing with a June birthday, too. It's the worst possible scenario. In the last 2 years, I've toured about 15 private Kindergartens, and I have yet to see one June birthday on the birthday chart on the wall. The charts are filled with fall and winter birthdays, with a few spring birthdays sprinkled in. There are often a few July or August birthdays, but they're from the year before (the redshirts). No Junes. It stinks!

I have an early June kid as well. Where the June birthdays then? i.e., you don't see them on the birthday wall at all? But they must be somewhere! Either redshirted or in the appropriate grade. Sorry if this sounds like a dumb question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I am being pressured to redshirt my son born in August, who is eligible to start Kind. in the fall. I thought for sure that he was ready for K but have noticed since day 1 of visiting the school that it seems to be set on the notion that children with summer birthdays (esp. boys) are better off waiting until they are 6. Call me naive, but I was floored that all this was going on. When I was in school, no one seemed to give birthdays a second thought. We had kids who skipped grades, but no one who "started late," and very few who were "held back." Being young and excelling was more admirable than being old and excelling...At this school, I have learned that several are redshirted, esp. the boys, and several boys and girls repeat K each year (the school points out that it's mostly the younger ones). Also floored that the school told me that is has recommended that a girl with a September birthday be held back based on her age and maturity alone -- even though, acc. to the teacher, "If I were giving grades, though, she'd be a straight A student." Does this seem justified to you? Why oh why would you ever hold back a straight-A student based on relative age alone? Has school really changed that much?

How amazing that a school wants a kid to wait until they're 6 to start kindergarten. Back in the stone age, I started first grade at age 5 (November birthday) and was bored out of my mind, since I could already read and the other students were starting to learn. It would have been unbearable if I'd had to wait another year to start first grade.

It just seems sad and depressing to take a bright kid, ready and excited to learn, and make them repeat a grade so they can spend a year going over stuff they already know. What better way to inspire an aversion to school?

Well it depends on the school they are going to and where they came from. For us, our son is coming from a school which is great but he played all day mostly. So he won't really be repeating everything that he will be learing in his new school which is more intense etc... He is bright but young and so this is a not so fun decision to make and I have grappled with it for months but have finally decided to just hold him back b/c honestly he will only be a few months older than many of his classmates so it shouldn't be a big deal (I hope!) If it is, I will feel awful and guilty and blah blah blah and add it to the list of the rest of the things I have done wrong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What defines "summer birthdays"? I have a son born in June - will he make the cut? OR be the youngest in his class?

We're dealing with a June birthday, too. It's the worst possible scenario. In the last 2 years, I've toured about 15 private Kindergartens, and I have yet to see one June birthday on the birthday chart on the wall. The charts are filled with fall and winter birthdays, with a few spring birthdays sprinkled in. There are often a few July or August birthdays, but they're from the year before (the redshirts). No Junes. It stinks!

I have an early June kid as well. Where the June birthdays then? i.e., you don't see them on the birthday wall at all? But they must be somewhere! Either redshirted or in the appropriate grade. Sorry if this sounds like a dumb question.

I think they're in public school!...which I guess is where we'll end up, because I am not a fan of redshirting. Honestly, I was very impressed during the public school open house, and when I asked the administrators about summer birthdays and readiness, etc., they looked at me kind of bemused and said of course that wasn't a problem because the cutoff date is in September. I realized I was speaking a different language - private school language - which the rest of the real world doesn't speak. I think I'm looking forward to joining the rest of the real world.

[Anonymous]

Part of the problem lies in the fact that K is much more academic than it used to be. So what used to be first grade curriculum is now in K. But many kids come to school w/ a lot more knowledge than they used to. When I started K, I guess I knew my colors, maybe some numbers and letters and that is about it. My son is 4 and is reading and is academically ready for K. But he is still a 4 yr old boy which means he probably isn't able to sit still for long periods of time, pay attention, be focused, etc. So, like a lot of his "boy" friends, he doesn't really fit totally into a public K. I would hold him back b/c he is not able to do what is expected of him and I would rather have him stay in preschool another year or go to a private K class that is more developmentally appropriate than a public K class. I do not want to be told by a public K teacher that he is hyperactive or unfocused when what he really is is a 5 yr old boy.

[Anonymous]

Question for the PP, would you mind hearing it from a private school teacher?

[Anonymous]

Moving the calendar doesn't fix this problem, it just shifts the cusp.

OP, think beyond kindergarten. If your child is the youngest in the class now, he will also be the youngest in the class in middle school, with students who are 12 or more months old. I can tell you from personal experience that it is unsettling, given the hormonal differential. Also, this is common practice. The range of students in a private school class can be 20 months or more. On the bright side, you have your child home one more year before he goes off to college. If you could find parents with older children in private school, they can help you think through this. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Moving the calendar doesn't fix this problem, it just shifts the cusp.

If you move the birthday cut off date to Jan, but keep the school calendar beginning in Sept, then you have by definition kids that must be 5 years and 8 months before they start K. Maybe Jan is too far, maybe the birthday cut should be March 31. Point is that kids, especially boys, then have more "time in the cooker" to develop the motor, processing skills.

Or the policy could just be the same Aug cut date, but anyone born between March and August has the option of redshirting if the school/parents do not feel they've developed those skills yet.

[Anonymous]

How refreshing - another thread on red-shirting! I do hope it is just as free from acrimony and bitterness as all the others...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, think beyond kindergarten. If your child is the youngest in the class now, he will also be the youngest in the class in middle school, with students who are 12 or more months old. I can tell you from personal experience that it is unsettling, given the hormonal differential. Also, this is common practice. The range of students in a private school class can be 20 months or more. On the bright side, you have your child home one more year before he goes off to college. If you could find parents with older children in private school, they can help you think through this. Good luck.

You don't think schools add people through the course of K through whenever? Youngest now doesn't mean the youngest at graduation. On the other hand, youngest has the knowledge that they are on par or excelling academically against kids older. My son is the youngest in his private school class and is doing very well academically (and socially). I doubt he would have been a division 1 or pro quarterback, so I am not too concerned with the athletics at this juncture.

I know of people who will have 19 year old girls at home as seniors in high school. Does this seem like a good idea?

[Anonymous]

17:06
Schools could then start recommending that students, especially boys, with October or later birthdays wait a year. It is not so much one student's age on the first day of school but where that students falls among the age span. My point was that there are always going to be "late" birthdays, no matter where you put the cutoff date.
16:45

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The range of students in a private school class can be 20 months or more.

Pretty unbelievable that the schools would allow this to happen, but I'm sure it's true.