I secretly want a "take charge" husband

[Anonymous]

It astounds me that there are "men" who react to women complaining and criticizing male decisions by refusing to make decisions.

She's going to complain no matter what you do. That's what women do. Tune it out and do what needs to be done. You'll both be happier!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It astounds me that there are "men" who react to women complaining and criticizing male decisions by refusing to make decisions.

She's going to complain no matter what you do. That's what women do. Tune it out and do what needs to be done. You'll both be happier!

No, I won't be happier. She'll still think the decision is wrong. If I don't give a shit about the decision, and you do, you make the decision. The "take charge" husband fantasy isn't that you want a "take charge" husband; it is that you want someone to make decisions for you that coincidentally are the decision you would have made if you thought about it.

[Anonymous]

My wife would really like me to decide what we do on evenings as weekends, as long as that decision is going to a wine bar with her girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a troll or the same poster as the "perfect on paper DH but not in love with him"?

This is kind of like a man saying "I want a gorgeous wife with a perfect body but also loving, kind, makes 6 figures, and able to keep house and kids in perfect order without me having to help."

This actually is close to what I have (I suppose I'm bragging or just talking about how proud I am of my wife): she's got an amazing body, makes 2/3 of the household income, is a great parent and runs our household. I do everything I can to help out and make her happy but she's a powerhouse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife would really like me to decide what we do on evenings as weekends, as long as that decision is going to a wine bar with her girlfriends.

+1 the man is asked to take charge and make decisions only as long as those decisions conform with the preferences, desires and wants of the woman. god forbid she doesn't get what she wants - she'll be back here complaining and riling up the mob.

[Anonymous]

It astounds me that there are "men" who react to women complaining and criticizing male decisions by refusing to make decisions.

My husband has said this to me. So they exist. I am very decisive, and he just isn't. I like to blame his MIL, but I've clearly picked up the mantle in some ways. I'm trying to be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It astounds me that there are "men" who react to women complaining and criticizing male decisions by refusing to make decisions.

She's going to complain no matter what you do. That's what women do. Tune it out and do what needs to be done. You'll both be happier!

No, I won't be happier. She'll still think the decision is wrong. If I don't give a shit about the decision, and you do, you make the decision. The "take charge" husband fantasy isn't that you want a "take charge" husband; it is that you want someone to make decisions for you that coincidentally are the decision you would have made if you thought about it.

It's great if he comes up with something surprising that you would never have thought of, and it turns out to be really fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It astounds me that there are "men" who react to women complaining and criticizing male decisions by refusing to make decisions.

She's going to complain no matter what you do. That's what women do. Tune it out and do what needs to be done. You'll both be happier!

No, I won't be happier. She'll still think the decision is wrong. If I don't give a shit about the decision, and you do, you make the decision. The "take charge" husband fantasy isn't that you want a "take charge" husband; it is that you want someone to make decisions for you that coincidentally are the decision you would have made if you thought about it.

Haha yep. they want a mind reader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It astounds me that there are "men" who react to women complaining and criticizing male decisions by refusing to make decisions.

She's going to complain no matter what you do. That's what women do. Tune it out and do what needs to be done. You'll both be happier!

I agree! Boys, this is why you don't live with them and why you don't marry them.

[Anonymous]

So it's ok to say "where's my dinner, woman"? What a stupid thread. Be assertive, but make sure you respect my independence. Throw me down and bang me like a drum, just don't make it rapey. How about you stop searching for the perfect (make believe) man, and quit assigning shortcomings. Because you're plenty lacking yourselves.

Send in the harpies!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it's ok to say "where's my dinner, woman"? What a stupid thread. Be assertive, but make sure you respect my independence. Throw me down and bang me like a drum, just don't make it rapey. How about you stop searching for the perfect (make believe) man, and quit assigning shortcomings. Because you're plenty lacking yourselves.

Send in the harpies!!

I +1 this and I am a DW. Some women are just crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a troll or the same poster as the "perfect on paper DH but not in love with him"?

This is kind of like a man saying "I want a gorgeous wife with a perfect body but also loving, kind, makes 6 figures, and able to keep house and kids in perfect order without me having to help."

This actually is close to what I have (I suppose I'm bragging or just talking about how proud I am of my wife): she's got an amazing body, makes 2/3 of the household income, is a great parent and runs our household. I do everything I can to help out and make her happy but she's a powerhouse!

Your wife is probably the OP of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a troll or the same poster as the "perfect on paper DH but not in love with him"?

This is kind of like a man saying "I want a gorgeous wife with a perfect body but also loving, kind, makes 6 figures, and able to keep house and kids in perfect order without me having to help."

This actually is close to what I have (I suppose I'm bragging or just talking about how proud I am of my wife): she's got an amazing body, makes 2/3 of the household income, is a great parent and runs our household. I do everything I can to help out and make her happy but she's a powerhouse!

Your wife is probably the OP of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a troll or the same poster as the "perfect on paper DH but not in love with him"?

This is kind of like a man saying "I want a gorgeous wife with a perfect body but also loving, kind, makes 6 figures, and able to keep house and kids in perfect order without me having to help."

This actually is close to what I have (I suppose I'm bragging or just talking about how proud I am of my wife): she's got an amazing body, makes 2/3 of the household income, is a great parent and runs our household. I do everything I can to help out and make her happy but she's a powerhouse!

What do you bring to the table?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a troll or the same poster as the "perfect on paper DH but not in love with him"?

This is kind of like a man saying "I want a gorgeous wife with a perfect body but also loving, kind, makes 6 figures, and able to keep house and kids in perfect order without me having to help."

This actually is close to what I have (I suppose I'm bragging or just talking about how proud I am of my wife): she's got an amazing body, makes 2/3 of the household income, is a great parent and runs our household. I do everything I can to help out and make her happy but she's a powerhouse!

What do you bring to the table?

why the unnecessary deflection? maybe b/c you are low value?