American Parenting Killing American Marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could not agree more with this article. I work with children and see first hand the damage being a parent can do to a person's marriage. I see so many child-obsessed mothers and bored, lonely fathers. It has made DH and I forego having children in favor of a healthy marriage. Who needs that stress?

I just think kids require so much attention especially in the baby stage, that it does hit a lot of people's marriage negatively.

[Anonymous]

Great article and very true for a lot of people. I see women who are very good mothers being judged by other women (never men) for sometimes putting their needs first (making a point to spend time with their husbands without the kids, spending time with friends, having hobbies, etc). It's ridiculous. I think it's good for kids to see that their mothers do not exist just to service their needs.

I laughed when I read the part in the article about the "Baby on Board" stickers-very funny and on point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great article and very true for a lot of people. I see women who are very good mothers being judged by other women (never men) for sometimes putting their needs first (making a point to spend time with their husbands without the kids, spending time with friends, having hobbies, etc). It's ridiculous. I think it's good for kids to see that their mothers do not exist just to service their needs.

I get this a lot too. I'm not exactly free range, but I don't do everything for my kids either. One thing I get judged a lot for is that when I take my kids to the park (both kids or one kid with a friend, not alone), I expect them to play with each other. I don't want to be involved in every game, and I shouldn't have to help them use the age appropriate equipment. My 6yo would refuse to try to pump her legs and swing herself. I would say in front of other parents there that she knows how to do it and she needs to put in the effort or choose something else to play with. Inevitably, the other parent who was pushing their child would start pushing mine. Usually they'd throw a few dirty looks my way too. Whatever. I've also been judged for letting my kids spend several days in a row with their grandparents, while in the next breath the other mom would say she's jealous that I get a break.

[Anonymous]

The divorce rate has been over 40% for a long time now. High American divorce rates predate helicopter parenting.

[Anonymous]

Parents are way too involved in their kids today. The constant burden inevitably breeds resentment because it's unrealistic to begin with.

Years ago, kids went outside and played. Parents were "around," but they weren't expected to constantly provide entertainment and activities as you often see today. It's just unrealistic for anyone except wealthy parents with full-time nannies to provide the lifestyle that people seem to expect now.

And, I don't think it's healthy for the kids to be constantly catered to like this. They grow up lacking initiative and purpose because their entire childhood has been a non-stop amusement park ride from activity to activity, like the "It's a Small World" ride at Disney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Minority women are better off getting the government benefits as a single mom, than marrying the live in boyfriend.

More white women are on government assistance than any other race in America.
http://breakingbrown.com/2014/03/the-real-welfare-queen-is-uneducated-single-and-white/

Good grief, how many times do we have to go over this stats. Whites are currently the majority race so yes, there are more whites receiving assistance, but as a percentage of raciali populations blacks receive more. Lies, damned lies and statistics. Stats are meaningless we you pick and chose which numbers to highlight without looking at the entire picture.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why this thread got derailed into a racial discussion.

Can you just agree that race issues are the result of complex socioeconomic and historical issue that can't be summed up with one statistic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Minority women are better off getting the government benefits as a single mom, than marrying the live in boyfriend.

More white women are on government assistance than any other race in America.
http://breakingbrown.com/2014/03/the-real-welfare-queen-is-uneducated-single-and-white/

Good grief, how many times do we have to go over this stats. Whites are currently the majority race so yes, there are more whites receiving assistance, but as a percentage of raciali populations blacks receive more. Lies, damned lies and statistics. Stats are meaningless we you pick and chose which numbers to highlight without looking at the entire picture.

TANF: According to the Department of Human Services, in 2010:


31.8% are white

31.9% are African-American

30% are Hispanic

Racial breakdown of the U.S.

White alone, not Hispanic or Latino...63%
Black....13%
Hispanic...17%

Thus, the country is 63% whites who receive 31.8% of benefits.
13% black who receive 31.9% of benefits.
30% Hispanic who relieve 17% of benefits.

Present all of the facts or don't present them at all.

[Anonymous]

Back to the article ... what bullshit. So am I supposed to get a weekend nanny so I can spend even less time with my kid? This is just another way to bash moms, no suprise.

[Anonymous]

Bah...I am European and I love my children way more than my husband, and so do my friends who still live there.
Perhaps it's because I am from Southern Europe and that's how we do it. Husbsnds can come and go, a child is your child for ever.

[Anonymous]

I told my kids that they are tied for second in my favorite people on the planet. Their father comes first. I want them to feel free to love someone more than me without feeling guilty. My mother always made it quite clear she loved us way above our father and it made it difficult to leave her at adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bah...I am European and I love my children way more than my husband, and so do my friends who still live there.
Perhaps it's because I am from Southern Europe and that's how we do it. Husbsnds can come and go, a child is your child for ever.

How terribly sad. And your kids can come and go too, just because you popped a kid out doesn't mean s/he is going to stick around or even like you. And perhaps if you put your husband first you'd have a more loving marriage.

Marriage first, kids second. Anyone who says and does otherwise is in a lousy marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bah...I am European and I love my children way more than my husband, and so do my friends who still live there.
Perhaps it's because I am from Southern Europe and that's how we do it. Husbsnds can come and go, a child is your child for ever.

How terribly sad. And your kids can come and go too, just because you popped a kid out doesn't mean s/he is going to stick around or even like you. And perhaps if you put your husband first you'd have a more loving marriage.

Marriage first, kids second. Anyone who says and does otherwise is in a lousy marriage.

Anyone who speaks in absolutes is missing out on a lot of life.

[Anonymous]

It has all been going downhill since no fault divorce. If you knew you were never getting divorced you picked right and did everything to make it work. Now both partners are in fear of divorce their entire marriage.

[Anonymous]

The divorce rate is at an all time low.

Just sayin'.....