Grandma with no drivers license.
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Anonymous
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I would call the local police and let them know the situation. You and family are out of state, your grandmother does not have her license and is not capable of driving and your father the only local relative has given her the car keys and lets her drive around.
Maybe they will send an officer over to discuss it with them and maybe the police won't even need to say how they had this information (it could be from a family member or a neighbor, etc) Hopefully an officer coming to the house and speaking with them will straighten them out enough to stop it. I am sure the police are used to dealing with family welfare issues and they would rather make a stop like this than clean up the accident your grandmother creates when she kills herself and others. |
Anonymous
| If you do want to get involved, you need to literally go to Grandma's house. You aren't there, and you say your dad is an asshole which means that you don't really know what is going on. Family members are reluctant to "take the keys" or "take the car" because Grandma owns both and "taking them away" is considered a crime. A person does not need to be able to drive in order to own a vehicle. All that is required is that they make or have made the required payments. Since you aren't there, I don't know how you'd call the cops. What would you say? "I think my Grandma may drive and she's 86 and doesn't have a liscense, can you go watch her and then arrest her?" I'd suggest you get to your grandma's house and see what's going on. Do you know she has food? What about toilet paper? From where I sit, it sounds like you just want Grandma's car. You admit she's living with someone who is there for his own self-interest. You don't mention any concern about her physical or emotional health. You just don't want her driving, which is fine if you were willing to make sure that she is being cared for appropriately. Go see Grandma, figure out what's really going on, then talk to the county's department on aging if need be and her doctor. They should be able to help you with next steps as the doctor especially can serve as a gateway. You also need to be very sure that you aren't fighting with your dad and using Grandma as amnution. Given the delay in mentioning your dad, I wonder about the purity of your intent. |
Anonymous
Yes, contact the police and/or DMV. Put in a call to her doctor's office as well. |
Anonymous
| My mother and her sister arranged for my grandmother's license to be cancelled by reporting her to the police. I don't think my grandmother knew who reported her. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]If you do want to get involved, you need to literally go to Grandma's house. You aren't there, and you say your dad is an asshole which means that you don't really know what is going on. Family members are reluctant to "take the keys" or "take the car" because Grandma owns both and "taking them away" is considered a crime. A person does not need to be able to drive in order to own a vehicle. All that is required is that they make or have made the required payments. Since you aren't there, I don't know how you'd call the cops. What would you say? "I think my Grandma may drive and she's 86 and doesn't have a liscense, can you go watch her and then arrest her?" I'd suggest you get to your grandma's house and see what's going on. Do you know she has food? What about toilet paper? From where I sit, it sounds like you just want Grandma's car. You admit she's living with someone who is there for his own self-interest. You don't mention any concern about her physical or emotional health. You just don't want her driving, which is fine if you were willing to make sure that she is being cared for appropriately. Go see Grandma, figure out what's really going on, then talk to the county's department on aging if need be and her doctor. They should be able to help you with next steps as the doctor especially can serve as a gateway. You also need to be very sure that you aren't fighting with your dad and using Grandma as amnution. Given the delay in mentioning your dad, I wonder about the purity of your intent. [/quote]
I was just there, twice! My father gets her food and sometimes she goes along. I send her vitamins, cleaning supplies, etc. via target. I speak to all of her doctors, make appointments, follow up with appointments, fill out paperwork online, get referrals sent, etc. The doctor cannot help with home healthcare and she cannot get any additional help through the government. I cannot afford to pay for such a service. I have a brand new car and certainly have no interest in her old car. I also speak with her daily and am aware of what is going on. I feel sorry for someone that assumes the worst with no reason for such, must be a lousy way to go through life. |
Anonymous
| Disconnect the battery |
Anonymous
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Seconding, disconnecting the battery and letting those closest (who might want to reconnect it/help her) know what is going on.
Had to do this with my grandmother; her car "stopped working" so she called my uncle the mechanic (who knew about the disconnection) and he told her it did not look fixable. That was the only way she would stop driving. |
Anonymous
Remove a key piece of the motor (like the nuns did in Sound of Music), that is what we did with MIL and it worked. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I am surprised by the trickiest of some of you! If I can't get anyone to take her keys on not sure I could get anyone to disconnect the battery. Plus, my dad uses her car to drive to her appointments and the grocery store. I might look into hiring someone, but if my dad's not enough, I'm not sure that would help either. I'll talk tou partner about calling the police. |
Anonymous
| Who is her insurance carrier? Maybe a call to them to give them a heads up that Gma doesn't have a valid driver's license.... |
Anonymous
I did. Spoke with someone at length. She is still technically covered, but they will not renew her without a drivers license. I'm not sure if canceling her insurance is the best route. I think I'll have the police talk to her. She will know it was me, as I've threatened her twice. |
Anonymous
She will know, but she won't be able to prove it. Anyone (including the cops themselves) could have seen her driving erratically and reported her license plate number. |
Anonymous
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Remind your dad that he will lose his place to live when she gets in an accident and is sued for everything she owns! If he's using the car, he should be the one with the insurance anyway. He could wind up in a lot of trouble too. Of course if the insurance is in his name and he let her drive, he shoulders the Burton too. That will teach him!
In the meantime, yes-report her to the local police or DMV as an impaired driver. |
Anonymous
| Before you get her license cancelled, get her a state issued id card. If she can't find a birth certificate and you cancel her only valid ID, getting on a plane or getting anything that requires a govt id will be tough. |
Anonymous
No this is not extreme, call the police. Would you like to see your grandmother kill someone (besides herself)? |