Any servers/former servers want to help me out with some etiquette?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:tipping is stupid

Perhaps but this is not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Servers know when they're bad or good. They probably just figure your il's are shitty tippers. It happens.

Id definitely accept a tip later in the night or the next day!

Exactly.
My husband is a restaurant manager and if one of his employees got a really shitty tip when they did a good job he would compensate them, either with cash or a steak, bottle of wine etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Servers know when they're bad or good. They probably just figure your il's are shitty tippers. It happens.

Id definitely accept a tip later in the night or the next day!

Exactly.
My husband is a restaurant manager and if one of his employees got a really shitty tip when they did a good job he would compensate them, either with cash or a steak, bottle of wine etc.

Good for him! This is uncommon, ime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would try to always bring cash, but if I forgot to, I honestly don't think I'd go to an ATM and return just to provide make-up cash. This problem is not yours to fix.

If your specific fear is that the server will spend all day wondering what he or she did wrong, I highly doubt it. A more typical reaction when a server sees a shitty tip is to say "well, that person's an asshole" and then get back to work or grumble to the buser about it.

OP here,
That is part of my worry and reason for coming back with money, but I also feel that I benefited from the service, regardless of who paid, and that the server deserves fair compensation. Plus our servers are usually young adults, I can't knowingly screw over some young kid and not feel badly about it

[Anonymous]

Here's what I've done before. Offer to pay the bill (mention that they always treat) and then leave the tip you think is appropriate. When they insist on paying for you, say fine, well let us leave the tip at least, and then leave a tip that you feel is appropriate. Keep some cash in your wallet for this reason.

If they decline your offer to treat them AND still won't let you tip, then still carry some cash and leave whatever tip you want to leave. I wouldn't chase after the server and hand the extra $ and make some comment though. Just stick the cash partially under an item on the table or be the last one to leave and drop it on the table. No need to make it into a scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Servers know when they're bad or good. They probably just figure your il's are shitty tippers. It happens.

Id definitely accept a tip later in the night or the next day!

Exactly.
My husband is a restaurant manager and if one of his employees got a really shitty tip when they did a good job he would compensate them, either with cash or a steak, bottle of wine etc.

Good for him! This is uncommon, ime.

It is probably less common in very small or larger corporate restaurants

[Anonymous]

You are overthinking this. You know when you are going out with them so take cash. When you get up from the table you linger for a second ( take a sip of water, pretend to hand trouble getting your coat on, whatever) and you discreetly leave the cash. There is no need to explain to the server.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are overthinking this. You know when you are going out with them so take cash. When you get up from the table you linger for a second ( take a sip of water, pretend to hand trouble getting your coat on, whatever) and you discreetly leave the cash. There is no need to explain to the server.

This. It seems like you are trying to point out how magnanimous you are compared to the ILs. Just be discrete and do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Always have cash. If you forget, I guess you could try to order something on your own check or to-go and have them run a separate tab with your card, and then tip on that order. Bringing cash is obviously the easiest way.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you bring cash, leave the table last, and surreptitiously drop the extra $ on the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are overthinking this. You know when you are going out with them so take cash. When you get up from the table you linger for a second ( take a sip of water, pretend to hand trouble getting your coat on, whatever) and you discreetly leave the cash. There is no need to explain to the server.

This. It seems like you are trying to point out how magnanimous you are compared to the ILs. Just be discrete and do the right thing.

+1. Soon your kids and their spouses will be posting about how their ILs always run to the ATM because they fail to plan properly.

[Anonymous]

Just finished my night shift at the restaurant.
Seems like you really don't carry any cash around or don't know when the are taking you out.
You can always offer to tip the server since your ILs are lousy tippers.
If you really don't have any cash on you, you can ask the server to charge few bucks out of the bill on you cc and then add the tip there for the whole check amount.
Don't explain the server anything. Not a big deal to get 10% as long as the check is $100 and under. It "hurts" more if it's a big tab and you all sat there for hours. Many people tip 18-20% easily and it evens out.
People seemed to tip less during brunch. Not sure why. Just wanted to say that brunches are the hardest shifts to work.

[Anonymous]

When you know you are going out with them, have cash on hand. Drop a $20 bill or whatever on your way out, no explanation necessary

[Anonymous]

OP, you said "6 people", right? Many (if not most) restaurants add automatic tip to check for parties of 6 or more (some for "8 or more" but 6 appears more common). And, yes, many places still have a line for an additional tip if they do that (and if you don't look closely at your bill you might actually tip twice)... So.. Your FIL's 10% might have actually been 25% or 28%...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are overthinking this. You know when you are going out with them so take cash. When you get up from the table you linger for a second ( take a sip of water, pretend to hand trouble getting your coat on, whatever) and you discreetly leave the cash. There is no need to explain to the server.

This. It seems like you are trying to point out how magnanimous you are compared to the ILs. Just be discrete and do the right thing.

+1. Soon your kids and their spouses will be posting about how their ILs always run to the ATM because they fail to plan properly.

OP here, you're so right! I hope that's the biggest problem they have with us.
I think I just felt so badly about this last time in particular, the young girl waiting on us was great with the kids, cut their food for them and everything (pizza with the roller, which they loved to watch?!), ran around getting drink covers for them, got my MIL special sugar packet, all on a hot day outside on a patio and got $6. And there we were with no cash and feeling really crappy.
Thanks everyone!