Becoming friends with the principal

[Anonymous]

It's inappropriate. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, and I considered the school principal a "family friend." However, he never once came to our house and my parents never went out with him and his wife. He attended town functions and spoke to everyone and we saw him often, but never privately. I don't think anyone with school kids did. Even in a place with few boundaries, that's a boundary a good principal won't cross. It would just be weird, and there will certainly come a time when it will create a serious problem - every kid has some kind of problem at school, and when yours does, the whole thing will be super awkward. Think of it like asking your gyn out for drinks.

[Anonymous]

Don't put your principal in the position of having to turn you down when you invite her for drinks. Surely you see she can't cross that line. Maybe when your kids no longer go to the school.

[Anonymous]

Principal here. Please don't. I really click with parents and genuinely appreciate their help and this ALWAYS ruins things and makes it super awkward. Always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Principal here. Please don't. I really click with parents and genuinely appreciate their help and this ALWAYS ruins things and makes it super awkward. Always.

This is my post above. To add to this I also discourage parent/teacher friendships. There of course are friendships that have formed before kids enter a teachers classroom and in that case I appreciate knowing this ahead of time so we can utilize a different teacher. But becoming BFF's with the room mom can cause lots of problems and I've seen it in multiple schools in all sorts of communities. So because of this preference of mine I am extra careful to set the same example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Principal here. Please don't. I really click with parents and genuinely appreciate their help and this ALWAYS ruins things and makes it super awkward. Always.

I'm a parent and I really don't get how this isn't crystal clear to OP or others. Can't even imagine how awkward it is when a parent presumes you're friends because you're friendly. I would never dream of asking a teacher or administrator at my child's school out for a social thing. So weird!

[Anonymous]

becoming BFF's with the room mom can cause lots of problems and I've seen it in multiple schools in all sorts of communities

Yes!! So room moms please stop trying.

You sound like a very reasonable principal/teacher. Full of great common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It wouldn't be strange. It's just not appropriate. I really enjoy spending time and working on projects with parents from my school. There are many interesting people, and I connect with them on many levels. But I have to keep a professional relationship because their child's needs always have to come first.

--elementary school principal

OP here. Whether it is books, tv, clothing, travel, anything, the principal and I just click. She is probably about 5 years older than I am.

Have you ever become personal friends with any parents?

We won't stay at this school forever.

Would it be less inappropriate if my child no longer attends her school?

You can be friends when your kids graduate. You have no idea if you and the principal click, because you only know her public persona.

[Anonymous]

Would this advice be the same for daycare parents and teachers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would this advice be the same for daycare parents and teachers?

Yes. It's a professional relationship. What happens if your kid is bitten at daycare and you don't think the daycare provider handled it appropriately. But you're supposed to go out for drinks with her later that weekend. That's incredibly awkward and would impact any friendship. Avoid any issues altogether and save the friendship until after your kid is finished with daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would this advice be the same for daycare parents and teachers?

How stupid are you?

[Anonymous]

Former principal here (currently an administrator so still work in the school system) and I CANNOT tell you how annoying and distracting this is. Every year I would have 2-3 parents who would make it my mission to be my best friend. They almost lay a subconscious guilt trip on you since they volunteer a lot. I can't tell you how distracting it is to have a mom pop in a chit chat during the day or catch me in the hallway. Of course I am always polite and smiley and I am absolutely willing to converse about your student or the school but beyond that please respect my time. I am trying to get about 14 hours of work done in a 9 hour day. The worst is when they get their kids involved. "Larla wants to know if you are coming to her birthday party...she just loves you" OR get my kids involved "Johnny has been wanting to meet up with your Jack, I think they would have so much in common." Its such an awkward headache and I was continuously shocked how many people didn't realize it was a professional relationship. I mean some of these moms were in high up positions in their industry and it was like they had no regard for mine.