Wasted my youth: major regrets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 30s were way better than my 20s. There's hope for you yet, op!

+1000

[Anonymous]

I am male. In my 20's I was a grad student. I had no money or time. While not a virgin, I had sex twice from 20 - 29. Both were short term relationships. I did not really date until I was 29....At 31, I finished grad school, moved to the DC area, and started earning decent (then real) money.

I had a lot of fun in my 30's through mid 40. From 31-33, I was dating a lot...made up for the lost time. Learned how do do things right. Met DW at 33, married at 35...we traveled a lot until we had our kid...

38-47 I just enjoyed my job, my life, and my family. 47-49 medical issues dominated my life...cancer and heart disease.

[Anonymous]

Life is not the movies. There are more people like you than you think. Adulthood is being delayed. People are staying in college later into their 20s. Unemployed or working crap jobs. Trying to figure out the adult thing post-college. So many people don't really hit their stride until their 30s. 28 is so young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make your 30s super fun then. You can't change the past.

+1. This was me. No fun memories for most of my 20. Great memories of my 30's. I'm now in my 40's. I had to change my attitude and my outlook. Maybe it was maturity, too. I felt much more confident in my 30's. Also helped a lot that I started making a lot more money in my 30's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom always had a motto - you only peak once. Do you really want to peak in your 20s? Then it's all downhill from there.

A little bit of a twist on this - I read it somewhere: "Live life in crescendo." Then you're always at a new peak!

[Anonymous]

Most will tell you the 20s are not all you thought they would be. Sure you're young, but dumb as hell to boot. Everyone I know says we'd never want to be in our 20s again.

My 30s were much better than my 20s and my 40s are honestly THE BEST yet!!! For one, life is much more fun wheN you have $, a house, etc--and the WISDOM to know what to do with it all!

[Anonymous]

Read. Read a lot. Read more.

Compile a list of adventurous moments and become the heroine of your own story!

I didn't start living until I hit 28, when I signed up for Peace Corps. Loved every moment of my 30s. Had my kids "late." Have really hit my stride in my mid-40s.

You've got time.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for "I was studying and had no money in my 20s" and now, at 30, am finally having some fun!

[Anonymous]

So much pressure to *do* something in your 20s. But really, travel, try new things, live outside your box a little. I really really endorse travel before you get attached to a man/baby/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom always had a motto - you only peak once. Do you really want to peak in your 20s? Then it's all downhill from there.

My 20s sucked. I think I preferred high school.

And you would be surprised how many 28+ virgins there are. They mostly just lie. (3 of my closest friends used to fit in that category. NOT ANYMORE!)

What a depressing motto and I would hate to live my life with this hanging over my head.

OP stop wasting time thinking about what you didn't do and start doing things you want to do, not things you think you should want to do. Pick one thing and do it. Then, pick another and do that. See where it takes you.

[Anonymous]

I got nothing for this.

[Anonymous]

I peaked in my 20s and there is so much I miss. Your peak is in front of you..the best is yet to come OP. You need to change your lifescript. Rather than focusing on the negative how about...

You are young and in control of your life. You don't have to try to carve out "me time" and/or feel guilty. You can take care of you. Enjoy this freedom while you have it.

You are 28 years old with no baggage and no STDs.

You are at an age where hopefully you will make wiser dating decisions than those of us who started a decade younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got nothing for this.

LOL. At least you're honest.

[Anonymous]

What you need to change is your mind set OP.

Think more positive about your self and your life will change.

If you need therapy, then get it. Do whatever you have to do to be a go getter in life.

Trust me, youth is fleeting. We are all older than younger in life so make it count.

[Anonymous]

I was like you, OP. I got over the virginity hurdle at 30, got married and had kids, but have acquired almost no friends over the years because of my social ineptitude. You might be making progress without knowing it and then suddenly your life will change for the better. The past doesn't really matter. You can only live in the present. You can't live in the future either. Regrets are simply worries about what you can't change. Focus on what you can do in the present moment.