Advice for confused husbands...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it always what women want??? What about what we want???

Supply and demand. Yes, an individual woman quite often wants sex more than an individual man. But, if your average woman and your average man walk into a random bar and yells, "who wants to fuck me?!" the woman (assuming it's not a gay bar) is going to get more takers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Must be a man. Women don't ALL want less sex. I definitely want 3x more than my DH. Several of my girlfriends are the same way. Stop generalizing that all women are low drive.

I assume you're reacting to this statement:
"Overall, the demand of men for sex exceeds the supply women will willingly provide..."

I'd say the statement is a pretty well proven fact and is accurately phrased in generalized form.
The fact that you plus a couple friends might be data points to the contrary does NOT make the original statement any less true.
Are you just unhappy that PP uses this pretty well accepted fact to draw some conclusions about female laziness in bed, or do you seriously dispute that males in general have higher sex drive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Must be a man. Women don't ALL want less sex. I definitely want 3x more than my DH. Several of my girlfriends are the same way. Stop generalizing that all women are low drive.

I assume you're reacting to this statement:
"Overall, the demand of men for sex exceeds the supply women will willingly provide..."

I'd say the statement is a pretty well proven fact and is accurately phrased in generalized form.
The fact that you plus a couple friends might be data points to the contrary does NOT make the original statement any less true.
Are you just unhappy that PP uses this pretty well accepted fact to draw some conclusions about female laziness in bed, or do you seriously dispute that males in general have higher sex drive?

If men paid more attention to what women want, then women would want more sex. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What a woman says she wants sexually, what she thinks she wants, and what she really wants might be three very distinct things. There is some cognitive dissonance going on when a woman subconsciously gets turned on by a guy who treats her rudely.

Might be? They ARE three very distinct things.

Treat 'em like shit, boys, and they'll love you forever.

[Anonymous]

How ironic that the OP whose thread was moved was complaining that her husband was sexually lazy and selfish and wouldn't do basic things. Now it's turning into a rant about the laziness of women.

Basically, if you want to have a chance of getting what you want, you need to be able to talk about it openly and clearly with your partner. It won't solve basic incompatibility, but it's the starting point. And sometimes you have to accept that you are the one bringing more energy to things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it always what women want??? What about what we want???

Supply and demand. Yes, an individual woman quite often wants sex more than an individual man. But, if your average woman and your average man walk into a random bar and yells, "who wants to fuck me?!" the woman (assuming it's not a gay bar) is going to get more takers.

But bars are not the entire world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're never going to figure out what your DW wants by asking DCUM. You can only find out what your DW wants by asking your DW. Not all women like the same thing. I don't even like the same thing every week. One time I might want DH to be more in control, and another time I might want to be on top.

If someone is complaining that they aren't getting what they want in bed from their DH or DW, but they're also not speaking up about what it is they want, they need to accept responsibility for that. Don't expect your spouse to be a minder reader. And don't expect to figure out what one particular person wants by asking the masses.

What a woman says she wants sexually, what she thinks she wants, and what she really wants might be three very distinct things. There is some cognitive dissonance going on when a woman subconsciously gets turned on by a guy who treats her rudely.

Because the rude guy is saying, I am totally confident and don't need you. In other words, he becomes a challenge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're never going to figure out what your DW wants by asking DCUM. You can only find out what your DW wants by asking your DW. Not all women like the same thing. I don't even like the same thing every week. One time I might want DH to be more in control, and another time I might want to be on top.

If someone is complaining that they aren't getting what they want in bed from their DH or DW, but they're also not speaking up about what it is they want, they need to accept responsibility for that. Don't expect your spouse to be a minder reader. And don't expect to figure out what one particular person wants by asking the masses.

What a woman says she wants sexually, what she thinks she wants, and what she really wants might be three very distinct things. There is some cognitive dissonance going on when a woman subconsciously gets turned on by a guy who treats her rudely.

Because the rude guy is saying, I am totally confident and don't need you. In other words, he becomes a challenge

So what every woman wants is a confident guy she can conquer by making him insecure?

[Anonymous]

When a woman finds you hot, dominance pushes her over the top. She wants it.

When a woman finds you boring/ugly, dominance is creepy/rapey.

We've been over this before. Women have said men should "just know," without being told, and then clamor for "yes means yes" laws.

So. Your confusion will remain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if men paid more attention to what women want, then women would want more sex. It's that simple.

This makes no sense. If women wanted sex they would not let some inattentive men deter them.
Instead these women would all be pursuing the attentive men. Or other high drive women.
I agree there are a lot of pathetic inattentive men out there, but you must acknowledge our drive is high enough to keep pursuing regardless of rejection level. Meanwhile you say the women just give up from men not paying attention? Sounds rather uncommitted to me. In other words, lower drive.

[Anonymous]

If I let my husband do anything he wanted, we would be divorced. If I did what I wanted, I'd live alone.

Find a happy middle and don't be so obsessed with sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I let my husband do anything he wanted, we would be divorced. If I did what I wanted, I'd live alone.

Find a happy middle and don't be so obsessed with sex.

Does your husband know you feel this way? Sheesh. Poor guy. If he does, you may find yourself living alone sooner than you'd like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I let my husband do anything he wanted, we would be divorced. If I did what I wanted, I'd live alone.

Find a happy middle and don't be so obsessed with sex.

By all means live alone, just you and the cat will be fine.
Don't need no man and certainly not any sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if men paid more attention to what women want, then women would want more sex. It's that simple.

This makes no sense. If women wanted sex they would not let some inattentive men deter them.
Instead these women would all be pursuing the attentive men. Or other high drive women.
I agree there are a lot of pathetic inattentive men out there, but you must acknowledge our drive is high enough to keep pursuing regardless of rejection level. Meanwhile you say the women just give up from men not paying attention? Sounds rather uncommitted to me. In other words, lower drive.

No. That is not what I said. Women would want more sex with men if the men would pay more attention to their needs in bed. A lot of women masturbate to satisfy their needs because the men aren't satisfying them. The sexual desire is there.

[Anonymous]

What's the point here of arguing with this troll man who's convinced women don't want sex? He's never going to own up to how selfish, lazy, dull, and bumbling he and a lot of men are in bed.