What is my obligation? (Regarding possible child sexual abuse.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS

This. You should not speak to your sister, you could do more damage than good. Someone who is qualified should talk to her.

If you think your stepmom will listen and be supportive, go to her and tell her.

I don't agree with this. Your sister might be really afraid because no one she loves is aware of what is happening (if it is happening). She might be so relieved to have you reach out to her, but if you call CPS first without talking to her first, she might feel betrayed by you. I'm not saying a professional shouldn't be called in, but I think you go to her directly first. Obviously you are not qualified to provide professional help, but you are certainly qualified to talk to her and let her know you're in her corner no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS

This. You should not speak to your sister, you could do more damage than good. Someone who is qualified should talk to her.

If you think your stepmom will listen and be supportive, go to her and tell her.

I don't agree with this. Your sister might be really afraid because no one she loves is aware of what is happening (if it is happening). She might be so relieved to have you reach out to her, but if you call CPS first without talking to her first, she might feel betrayed by you. I'm not saying a professional shouldn't be called in, but I think you go to her directly first. Obviously you are not qualified to provide professional help, but you are certainly qualified to talk to her and let her know you're in her corner no matter what.

NP, and I mostly agree with the last poster. I guess if I was going to go in the order I think you should it would be this:

1. Call RAINN or another local support group for survivors of sexual abuse.
2. Once you talk to them, of course also talk about your sister and get support/more information before talking to her directly.
3. I absolutely think you should talk to your sister before you call CPS. Tell her that you want to tell her about something that is difficult to talk about, but you are worried for her and want to make sure she knows what to do and who to talk to if she needs something. Then tell her what happened to you. Be prepared that if she discloses sexual abuse or refuses to talk about it at all, you should be ready to go straight to CPS. Which is why I think you need to start with RAINN and ask for an ally/support person to talk to once you talk to your sister.

IF she discloses abuse or refuses to talk, call CPS and tell them what happened to you and BE SPECIFIC either about what your sister told you or what your specific concerns about her are. Wow, almost forgot, you also need to get your sister ready. If you call CPS and they investigate (which I REALLY hope they would), your sister absolutely needs support too. She needs it the most, because she's younger and still lives with them (is that correct?)

4. Find an ongoing therapist and try to stay in touch with someone in either RAINN or a local support group,, so you have a person to reach out to with questions or just to vent to.

I'm so sorry you went through this OP. But glad you are realizing and coming to terms with what happened, and that you are going to take some next steps.

Please get yourself some support, and please please talk to your sister and report any abuse. Good luck, please report back if you feel you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS

This. You should not speak to your sister, you could do more damage than good. Someone who is qualified should talk to her.

If you think your stepmom will listen and be supportive, go to her and tell her.

I don't agree with this. Your sister might be really afraid because no one she loves is aware of what is happening (if it is happening). She might be so relieved to have you reach out to her, but if you call CPS first without talking to her first, she might feel betrayed by you. I'm not saying a professional shouldn't be called in, but I think you go to her directly first. Obviously you are not qualified to provide professional help, but you are certainly qualified to talk to her and let her know you're in her corner no matter what.

NP, and I mostly agree with the last poster. I guess if I was going to go in the order I think you should it would be this:

1. Call RAINN or another local support group for survivors of sexual abuse.
2. Once you talk to them, of course also talk about your sister and get support/more information before talking to her directly.
3. I absolutely think you should talk to your sister before you call CPS. Tell her that you want to tell her about something that is difficult to talk about, but you are worried for her and want to make sure she knows what to do and who to talk to if she needs something. Then tell her what happened to you. Be prepared that if she discloses sexual abuse or refuses to talk about it at all, you should be ready to go straight to CPS. Which is why I think you need to start with RAINN and ask for an ally/support person to talk to once you talk to your sister.

IF she discloses abuse or refuses to talk, call CPS and tell them what happened to you and BE SPECIFIC either about what your sister told you or what your specific concerns about her are. Wow, almost forgot, you also need to get your sister ready. If you call CPS and they investigate (which I REALLY hope they would), your sister absolutely needs support too. She needs it the most, because she's younger and still lives with them (is that correct?)

4. Find an ongoing therapist and try to stay in touch with someone in either RAINN or a local support group,, so you have a person to reach out to with questions or just to vent to.

I'm so sorry you went through this OP. But glad you are realizing and coming to terms with what happened, and that you are going to take some next steps.

Please get yourself some support, and please please talk to your sister and report any abuse. Good luck, please report back if you feel you can.

Same PP and I forgot to say, I really think you should leave the step mother out of the info loop on this. Talk directly to your sister. There's no telling what the stepmom knows or suspects, and if she's in deep denial or aware and has decided to stay silent, she could terrorize your sister before CPS gets to her.

I also forgot to say, your sister may need a safety plan, and maybe if you call RAINN or a similar group, once you talk to your sister you could find a way to have her in a secure place and have her call too. She'll need a safety plan and some serious support if CPS gets involved, which - if she's being abused, they really must.