How many times a day do you hear from your boyfriend, spouse or significant other?

[Anonymous]

What? You people are nuts. I've been with my partner for 4 yrs and if he doesn't call me for 1 day I'm pissed. There should be some kind of communication. It would make me think he didn't care or he wasn't thinking of me. Fuck that.

[Anonymous]

If you two are mutually exclusive at this point, then it is the norm to call or text daily, however there are some people who do not really like communicating that much...They think it is a chore more or less or they just don't have it high on their priority lists.

It sounds to me as if your boyfriend likes the relationship status quo, but isn't really as invested in it as you are.

Only you can answer if this is a quirk + if it is something you can live w/.

[Anonymous]

OP here, my boyfriend can't really talk at work, but when he does get downtime he may call just to say hi until another customer comes over to his desk.

I'm not faulting him during his work hours just when he gets off. He's not a texting type of guy, but I do expect a call saying "I'm going to the gym, or going home"

It's always been like this and I just thought I was being too needy, but I guess I'm not.

Maybe I will tell him how I feel this evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my boyfriend can't really talk at work, but when he does get downtime he may call just to say hi until another customer comes over to his desk.

I'm not faulting him during his work hours just when he gets off. He's not a texting type of guy, but I do expect a call saying "I'm going to the gym, or going home"

It's always been like this and I just thought I was being too needy, but I guess I'm not.

Maybe I will tell him how I feel this evening.

If it's always been like this and you've always had a problem with it then yes, a conversation with him about this is long overdue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my boyfriend can't really talk at work, but when he does get downtime he may call just to say hi until another customer comes over to his desk.

I'm not faulting him during his work hours just when he gets off. He's not a texting type of guy, but I do expect a call saying "I'm going to the gym, or going home"

It's always been like this and I just thought I was being too needy, but I guess I'm not.

Maybe I will tell him how I feel this evening.

No. You *are* being too needy.

Don't you have things to do? Hobbies? Interests? It is unreasonable to expect daily communication from a guy to whom you are not married and don't even live with. Why does he need to tell you that he's going to the gym when he doesn't even life with you?

I mean this in the nicest way possible: get a life before you drive him away.

[Anonymous]

OP, you aren't being too needy. If I didn't communicate with someone daily, we'd never get to marriage. But if your boyfriend feels differently it just means he isn't the one for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he's not calling you.. If you know he's home, are you calling him?

Because phones really do work both ways.

+1

Yeah, OP. Do you call him every day? Or, is this only his responsibility?

[Anonymous]

I think the posters should state their gender along with their opinion.

I am male, and I think "calling everyday" is overkill, and if my girlfriend -- who I do not live with -- began insisting that I must check in with her everyday, regardless of whether there is anything to talk about, I would would be alarmed.

[Anonymous]

In the morning and evening, when he's home.

We may talk on the phone or email, but it's never to chat idly - usually it's something that needs to be taken care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In the morning and evening, when he's home.

We may talk on the phone or email, but it's never to chat idly - usually it's something that needs to be taken care of.

Just to add - when we were not living together, we would talk once a week. Long distance relationship, different time zones, etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm female, married 16 years, good marriage, still in love with each other. We see each other every day before/after work, and sometimes we'll call each other during the day, but that's usually if there's some scheduling question or something that needs to be answered. If he's traveling he calls before bed just to say goodnight and I love you. He also texts after taking a flight to say he made it.

Hmm re the split in replies. I just assumed that you'd speak every day, bc it's the honeymoon period and you'd both *want* to. Anyways, that's how it always was with my boyfriends, but I've never been in a casual relationship so maybe the norm is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm female, married 16 years, good marriage, still in love with each other. We see each other every day before/after work, and sometimes we'll call each other during the day, but that's usually if there's some scheduling question or something that needs to be answered. If he's traveling he calls before bed just to say goodnight and I love you. He also texts after taking a flight to say he made it.

Hmm re the split in replies. I just assumed that you'd speak every day, bc it's the honeymoon period and you'd both *want* to. Anyways, that's how it always was with my boyfriends, but I've never been in a casual relationship so maybe the norm is different.

Totally normal to communicate every day, when you're married.

I think a minimum of 2-3 times per week is reasonable for unmarried, non-cohabiting couples. Insisting on a phone call nearly every day seems nutty to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you two are mutually exclusive at this point, then it is the norm to call or text daily, however there are some people who do not really like communicating that much...They think it is a chore more or less or they just don't have it high on their priority lists.

It sounds to me as if your boyfriend likes the relationship status quo, but isn't really as invested in it as you are.

Only you can answer if this is a quirk + if it is something you can live w/.

+1 If you need to hear from him everyday but he doesn't see that as important you may just be incompatible.

DH and I aren't talky people. When we were first dating, in that honeymoon period, yes, we probably talked nearly every day in the evenings by phone and now we talk in-person at home in the evenings. But we rarely talk or text in the middle of the day unless it's about some kid logistics. This seems perfectly normal to me as my mom and dad NEVER talked to each other while he was at work (mom was SAHM). Neither way is "wrong" or "right" but both people in the relationship need to be comfortable with the level of communication.

[Anonymous]

Omg. F that. I talk to my spouse like 30 times a day and same before marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg. F that. I talk to my spouse like 30 times a day and same before marriage

Ermahgerd!