Selfish DW and DD's Education

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said "my DD." Is she not your wife's daughter as well?

I don't understand why people harp on this use of possessive pronouns. That kid is way more his than she is yours. And he's the one writing, not both he and his wife. You are reading way too much into this.

I don't think this was about harping on pronouns as much as recognizing that blended families exist and wondering if that was the case here.

[Anonymous]

How did you sustain an erection with this selfish cow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds fishy. There has to be another side to the story. For example, perhaps he was extremely controlling about money before the wife started working?

Something similar happened to my in-laws. My FIL was super controlling about money and treated it like it was HIS. Then my MIL inherited a vast estate and all of a sudden my FIL wanted joint accounts and to share. My MIL refused and demanded to keep things the way they were for years.

Also suspect that DW's account of the story would sound very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds fishy. There has to be another side to the story. For example, perhaps he was extremely controlling about money before the wife started working?

Something similar happened to my in-laws. My FIL was super controlling about money and treated it like it was HIS. Then my MIL inherited a vast estate and all of a sudden my FIL wanted joint accounts and to share. My MIL refused and demanded to keep things the way they were for years.

Agree it sounds fishy.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, don't make this about your DDs education. Your DW will tell the child it is her fault that you divorced.

There are probably a lot more issues. This isn't about your kid, its about your relationship and what it is lacking.

[Anonymous]

OP you need to sit down with your wife and ask her for her perspective. Your story sounds very extreme and there is no way your wife is truly this selfish. There has to be another side to the story and running around truing to pretend what you wrote is accurate isn't doing you any favors. You're going to gain sympohthy from strangers on the internet but that's all you'll accomplish by spinning the real story the way you have.

[Anonymous]

OP this is my SIL. I'm fairly certain my brother will be divorcing her within the year. She too is horribly self-centered and spoiled. It's an impossible situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said "my DD." Is she not your wife's daughter as well?

I don't understand why people harp on this use of possessive pronouns. That kid is way more his than she is yours. And he's the one writing, not both he and his wife. You are reading way too much into this.

I don't think this was about harping on pronouns as much as recognizing that blended families exist and wondering if that was the case here.

Exactly. If she is the stepmother, the dynamic changes.

[Anonymous]

If you are the same person who keeps coming here to talk about all the stuff his wife won't do and the problems she causes for the teenage daughter, will you please divorce her already? I don't know what you think is going to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many things, but this is the last straw. She feels entitled to "compensation" for all her years working as a SAHM. That is her complaint about my asking to now shar accounts and expenses.

She is thinking only about herself and not the family unit.

I am just sad it comes to this and that in the end it is true that the only person she cares about is herself.

Maybe she can compensate you for the time that you didn't have with your kids because you had to work to support her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are the same person who keeps coming here to talk about all the stuff his wife won't do and the problems she causes for the teenage daughter, will you please divorce her already? I don't know what you think is going to change.

I figured it was this guy, too.

OP, why in the world are the two of you together? You are not doing your daughter any favors by arguing in front of her and getting into battles trying to prove which parent loves her more. Your daughter should not be aware of you and your wife's disagreement about her college tuition.

You are modeling a severely dysfunctional home for your daughter. Good luck once she starts dating.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is just like my parents. They were a pretty cohesive unit for man years, helping my brother and I through college - and then my dad, who had usually out-earned my mom tenfold, fell on hard times. After years of money being "mine and yours" suddenly my mom's money was "hers" and she wasn't going to "support that man". They ended up getting divorced.

My mom kept her job and made it clear that she wasn't going to pay any tuition for my sister.

My dad struggled to rebuild his business. He made no money for a couple of years and paid my sister's tuition from his savings, while he bounced from different relatives (and mine, and my brother's) houses. He's getting back on his feet, but has suffered financially where it has impacted his ability to retire.

I think my mom didn't pay because she KNEW it was so important to my dad that he would pay, no matter what.

I can't forgive my mom for this. Your daughter WILL figure out how selfish her mother is.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her she needs to give 40% to the household fund in which you will put it away for your child's education. If she is working she needs to contribute to the household expenses and food. If she is not willing, she needs to get her own place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds fishy. There has to be another side to the story. For example, perhaps he was extremely controlling about money before the wife started working?

Something similar happened to my in-laws. My FIL was super controlling about money and treated it like it was HIS. Then my MIL inherited a vast estate and all of a sudden my FIL wanted joint accounts and to share. My MIL refused and demanded to keep things the way they were for years.

Agree it sounds fishy.

It certainly is fishy. It is always the man's fault. Always. if you are born with a penis and if a woman near you acts insane, you are to blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds fishy. There has to be another side to the story. For example, perhaps he was extremely controlling about money before the wife started working?

Something similar happened to my in-laws. My FIL was super controlling about money and treated it like it was HIS. Then my MIL inherited a vast estate and all of a sudden my FIL wanted joint accounts and to share. My MIL refused and demanded to keep things the way they were for years.

Agree it sounds fishy.

It certainly is fishy. It is always the man's fault. Always. if you are born with a penis and if a woman near you acts insane, you are to blame.

Is this the OP? I ask because if so then I think it is fair to say you're issues are more than just about your wife and finances.