My parents that were good parents treat me differently as an adult
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Anonymous
| OP here. Thank you PP. This is helpful. Did this really help that much? I am willing to try these tips if I think it will make a difference. How did it make a difference for you? |
Anonymous
| Can you take a trip to see them by yourself so that you're not so distracted by your own young family? |
Anonymous
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OP here. I will try to do that. I haven't yet because of the 3 young kids and going cross country. Still very nervous leaving them.
I think it is probably worth it to go at this point though... |
Anonymous
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The fact of the matter is, your bad traits just get worse with age! So your parents were co-dependent before, now they're downright needy and passive-aggressive. It won't get better. Ignore the comments and try to enjoy what common ground you can before they die. |
Anonymous
| Hello OP I am coming late to this but I am in a very similar situation. My parents were fantastic growing up and they still want to be my parents (I'm47) and tel me how to do everything, from finances to schooling for my children, where we should live, who we should get a mortgage from, etc etc yada yada yada. They promise not to "interfere" and then they just carry on. The only thing I have which helps is a large physical distance between us, over 3000 miles. I try to be as easy as possible about it all but sometimes its a challenge. If I see them on my own its worse because suddenly I am 14 not 47. They even admit this, to my face. |
Anonymous
Im in a similar situation too. My parents constantly act like/say things that show they still regard me as a kid. They told me when I was pregnant that I was too young to have a baby (I was 30, and married) and I think the reason they felt this way was more to do w them wanting to still be more actively involved in my life as parents. I guess this is common and I don't really fault them for it since I know they mean well but it is quite annoying and I really wish they'd develop more of their own lives separate from mine. Im not an only child, either, but they do this way more w me than w my brothers, which is my fault bc I mostly go along w it (even though it often drives me crazy), whereas my brothers are not so indulgent. Sorry, OP. This hasnt been very helpful at all. My best advice is to sit down w them and try to have an honest, yet sensitive conversation and let them know how you feel, while also making it clear that you want to have a close relationship w them and that would be easier if some things (be specific) could change. Id also let them voice any changes they'd like to see in the relationship too. I should take my own advice and have a similar convo w my parents... |
Anonymous
| It may be a sign of early dementia. That happened with my parents. Did they have you late? |