Do you feel sad on holidays not celebrating with extended family

[Anonymous]

This is the first year our family has done Easter without extended family. It's been great! We're operating on our own timeline and it's fine if my house is moderately but not perfectly clean. I wore my pajamas until ten minutes before leaving for church and peeled off my tights as soon as we got home. Our two boys are playing downstairs and our two girls are napping upstairs. Most relaxing Easter ever. (Except for the ham, which refused to cook, but whatever - we sliced some and tossed in microwave. Wheeee!)

As for missing family: we have other opportunities to see family and it just doesn't seem like a big deal to me on Easter. On Christmas I want to be with family. On Easter I just want to eat ham and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, I know exactly what you mean. But take heart: It gets easier as your kids get older, because you realize that even by default, you have established your own traditions.

This is a great way to think about it.

This is so true. OP, in future years, you may find yourself at the park on Easter Sunday and think: This is MY family's tradition!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Lots of people would rather be at home alone than to spend holidays with sad, depressed or argumentative extended family. Make your own traditions, OP. Just because you see extended families everywhere, doesn't mean that they are having drama-free holidays.

Lots of people wish they could just stay at home like you and have a nice, relaxing holiday. Large family groups are not necessarily better.

You forgot passive-agressive.

[Anonymous]

I always feel sad on Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas because my extended family is in another faraway state and always gets together for these holidays. I've had my own traditions with my immediate family (ILs celebrate different holidays) but now my kids are adults and cannot come back for all of the holidays like they did when they were in school. I am thinking of flying back to my home state more often before my parents pass away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have no local family, and family is too far away to spend holidays with, do you feel sad on holidays that you don't have extended family to celebrate with? I feel sad, and I feel sad for my kids too. My husband works most major holidays, so pre-kids I was alone on holidays, which was depressing, and now with kids I try to find festive things to do/make a nice meal but it still feels lonely. Today DH was working and I took the kids to the park and I saw so many huge extended families having BBQs/picnics and it just made me feel very lonely. Our friends never invite us to their family celebrations/are always busy with their own family celebrations or they travel to see family on holidays.

What about your immediate family, as in DH? It seems like starting there might be something to work on.

[Anonymous]

It's been really relaxing today, actually. We all took naps, are getting pizza for dinner, and have a red box to watch tonight. The Windows are open to the almost warm weather, and I'm calm and relaxed!

Most years involve driving, rushing to church, busy restaurant brunches or tons of dinner dishes.

I didn't think I'd like it without extended family, but it's been really nice.

[Anonymous]

My husband works almost all holidays too. We did an Easter dinner last night with friends (he had a rare weekend day off). I'm sad about it sometimes but we just try to make our own traditions and do things on alternate days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's less stressful for me to spend a holiday with just our little family and avoid the drama of extended family so I don't mind at all! I love starting our own traditions as a family

OP here. But do you/your kids feel lonely not celebrating with extended family? When I was growing up extended family was far away and we only saw them once a year, and I felt it was lonely not being with them on holidays. How do you cope with the loneliness?

PP here. I'm not lonely though. I'd rather see extended family on non-holidays and relax with my family for holidays. Seeing family means traveling, fast food, hotels, bad sleep, traffic, spending money, packing/unpacking and stress! Growing up we had to leave the day after Christmas to drive a long distance to see family. I hated it. I wanted to stay home and play with my toys. So I'd prefer my kids be home when we can. Just my 2 cents

[Anonymous]

No, it's nice to have quiet holidays, although I wish we could see our families more often. We haven't seen any of them in two years.

[Anonymous]

I miss extended family. Trying not to dwell on that though or I'll get sad, so we're focusing on making some of our own traditions. We've done Easter baskets for the kids and I'll cook a nice dinner. Had thought about attending a church service but we all woke up feeling tired (Fri and Sat were busy) so we opted to relax and do some gardening instead.

[Anonymous]

Yes. As I sit here slightly green-eyed looking at pics of my nieces in cute outfits (bought by in-laws) doing an egg hunt at in-laws house. We were in jammies all day - except DH who had an Easter gig this morning (musician). But, we chose to move far away... so guess no one to blame but ourselves.
As I typed this, my 5yo came in and said he had a great Easter, so must have done something right today .

[Anonymous]

We do Easter with friends who don't get together with their families, either. It's actually my favorite holiday to host.

[Anonymous]

Yes but I also find our families very stressful and can often ruin a holiday with the fighting so I am happy to not have me, my DH or my kids be a part of that anymore.
We only have 1 toddler now so I hope it feels more full when we have more kids. And when they are at ages to really remember and look forward to different traditions.
I really try to make an effort to make special meals, decorate for holidays and plan traditions so that our kids can look forward to them and they feel like special days rather than just a normal Sunday. Even if it feels silly, just having the picture of us dressed up or a picture with the house decorated in the background makes me feel like we had a holiday and not just another normal day.

OP I am guessing it is even harder for you because your DH isn't available on holidays. I would still try to make an effort to do things special for the holidays even though it is just you and the kids. If my DH wasn't available on holidays, I would always make a reservation for a special meal to take the kids to - let them order shirley temples and dessert. Something special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Doesn't bother me at all. We don't celebrate Easter and don't really care. As far as I'm concerned today is just another Sunday - we'll do a little organizing, cook a nice dinner, do some errands, and get together with some (Jewish) friends.

OK, so basically this thread is not for you and your opinion isn't relevant. Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Doesn't bother me at all. We don't celebrate Easter and don't really care. As far as I'm concerned today is just another Sunday - we'll do a little organizing, cook a nice dinner, do some errands, and get together with some (Jewish) friends.

OK, so basically this thread is not for you and your opinion isn't relevant. Carry on.

+1. The relevant comparison would be -- did you feel lonely on Friday night if you weren't spending the first evening of Passover with family??? Duh.