Vent: Annoying In Laws

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, all their criticisms seem pretty petty and unimportant and nitpicky so I wouldn't worry about it. just shrug it off. esp since you rarely see them

i would consider attacks on how i rear my children as a little more than petty. talk to dh. he needs to address it with his parents.

Attacks? Some of us are not quite that sensitive. If the comments are not valid, don't pay it any mind. Sounds like they don't have anything better to do than to make random comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP being a guest is hard too. If you know they hate your towels, buy 4 super nice ones and keep them just for guests. (that's what we do). I stay at my inlaws at least 8-10x a year and the towels, sheets, mattress and pillows are all awful.

OP here. They were complaining about the nice guest towels! The guest bathroom is used by my eldest as "her" bathroom so she picked out the decor. She has these really nice Martha Stewart towels with buckets and shovels on them. My MIL thought the buckets and shovels were pots and pans!
My only real complaint is that they were rude. I would never tell anyone that their house is small or that they are doing a bad job of raising their kids. They only come once or twice a year, which makes it almost worse when they say things about the kids behavior because they don't know the kids very well.

They are family, so they feel they can say s***, it's not that big a deal. My mom is great and sometimes she says the most off the wall stuff, I tell her she sounds crazy and then we usually end up laughing about it. Seriously, when people tell you off the wall crap like give them more peanut butter, just say 'it doesn't work like that' and keep it moving. If the worst you have to deal with is someone not liking your towels, consider yourself lucky. This petty stuff is not worth the time it took you to vent on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

OP, most people would feel attacked by those comments too.

It is not their place to comment on reasonable choices you've made for your family.

I wouldn't take it up with them now, when you're feeling raw, but if and when it starts up on next visit, gently but firmly shut it down. "We like our home, thanks." "We are very happy with the daycare, but thanks." Rinse and repeat until they get a clue.

[Anonymous]

Don't be a damn doormat. Tell them to stay at a nearby hotel or inn since your home is "too small."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - you are doing pretty darned good if you have 3 small children and that's the worst that your family comes up with in terms of criticism.

Get new towels for the guest bathroom (if you don't want to spend $ try a thrift store - just wash them before using). The other stuff is stupid and probably were not meant as insults.

Believe me, it could be much, much worse.

And get some nice towels for pete's sake!

[Anonymous]

I'm so glad my ILs went to visit someone else! We get complaints that we don't have heated towel racks.

[Anonymous]

"Thanks so much for sharing that! Can you pass the beans? I wonder if it will rain later tonight."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP being a guest is hard too. If you know they hate your towels, buy 4 super nice ones and keep them just for guests. (that's what we do). I stay at my inlaws at least 8-10x a year and the towels, sheets, mattress and pillows are all awful.

OP here. They were complaining about the nice guest towels! The guest bathroom is used by my eldest as "her" bathroom so she picked out the decor. She has these really nice Martha Stewart towels with buckets and shovels on them. My MIL thought the buckets and shovels were pots and pans!
My only real complaint is that they were rude. I would never tell anyone that their house is small or that they are doing a bad job of raising their kids. They only come once or twice a year, which makes it almost worse when they say things about the kids behavior because they don't know the kids very well.

Ack, I hate this sort of thing. Make sure that *Guest Bathroom Towels* are on your Christmas List (or bday list) and hopefully they will give you what they want to see in that bathroom.

Please tell me this is a joke. OP should ask, for HER Christmas present, for something that the inlaws might like to to use for 6 days a year? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - you are doing pretty darned good if you have 3 small children and that's the worst that your family comes up with in terms of criticism.

Get new towels for the guest bathroom (if you don't want to spend $ try a thrift store - just wash them before using). The other stuff is stupid and probably were not meant as insults.

Believe me, it could be much, much worse.

And get some nice towels for pete's sake!

Of course it could be worse. That's not the point.

The situation as it stands is annoying to the OP. Give her advice or be quiet rather than saying, "Just be glad your hair's not on fire! Just be glad the sky's not falling! Just be glad you've got two feet!"

[Anonymous]

The towel thing reminds me of a Christmas gift from MIL early in our marriage. A new set of queen sheets (our bed is a king)! And she specifically said to me on Christmas morning with the package still on my lap that she hopes I'll have them on the bed for her next visit. Grrr. Now I'm older and don't tolerate her BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP being a guest is hard too. If you know they hate your towels, buy 4 super nice ones and keep them just for guests. (that's what we do). I stay at my inlaws at least 8-10x a year and the towels, sheets, mattress and pillows are all awful.

OP here. They were complaining about the nice guest towels! The guest bathroom is used by my eldest as "her" bathroom so she picked out the decor. She has these really nice Martha Stewart towels with buckets and shovels on them. My MIL thought the buckets and shovels were pots and pans!
My only real complaint is that they were rude. I would never tell anyone that their house is small or that they are doing a bad job of raising their kids. They only come once or twice a year, which makes it almost worse when they say things about the kids behavior because they don't know the kids very well.

They are family, so they feel they can say s***, it's not that big a deal. My mom is great and sometimes she says the most off the wall stuff, I tell her she sounds crazy and then we usually end up laughing about it. Seriously, when people tell you off the wall crap like give them more peanut butter, just say 'it doesn't work like that' and keep it moving. If the worst you have to deal with is someone not liking your towels, consider yourself lucky. This petty stuff is not worth the time it took you to vent on DCUM.

i think there is a difference between your own mom saying it to you, vs your mil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP being a guest is hard too. If you know they hate your towels, buy 4 super nice ones and keep them just for guests. (that's what we do). I stay at my inlaws at least 8-10x a year and the towels, sheets, mattress and pillows are all awful.

OP here. They were complaining about the nice guest towels! The guest bathroom is used by my eldest as "her" bathroom so she picked out the decor. She has these really nice Martha Stewart towels with buckets and shovels on them. My MIL thought the buckets and shovels were pots and pans!
My only real complaint is that they were rude. I would never tell anyone that their house is small or that they are doing a bad job of raising their kids. They only come once or twice a year, which makes it almost worse when they say things about the kids behavior because they don't know the kids very well.

They are family, so they feel they can say s***, it's not that big a deal. My mom is great and sometimes she says the most off the wall stuff, I tell her she sounds crazy and then we usually end up laughing about it. Seriously, when people tell you off the wall crap like give them more peanut butter, just say 'it doesn't work like that' and keep it moving. If the worst you have to deal with is someone not liking your towels, consider yourself lucky. This petty stuff is not worth the time it took you to vent on DCUM.

i think there is a difference between your own mom saying it to you, vs your mil.

Not to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP being a guest is hard too. If you know they hate your towels, buy 4 super nice ones and keep them just for guests. (that's what we do). I stay at my inlaws at least 8-10x a year and the towels, sheets, mattress and pillows are all awful.

OP here. They were complaining about the nice guest towels! The guest bathroom is used by my eldest as "her" bathroom so she picked out the decor. She has these really nice Martha Stewart towels with buckets and shovels on them. My MIL thought the buckets and shovels were pots and pans!
My only real complaint is that they were rude. I would never tell anyone that their house is small or that they are doing a bad job of raising their kids. They only come once or twice a year, which makes it almost worse when they say things about the kids behavior because they don't know the kids very well.

They are family, so they feel they can say s***, it's not that big a deal. My mom is great and sometimes she says the most off the wall stuff, I tell her she sounds crazy and then we usually end up laughing about it. Seriously, when people tell you off the wall crap like give them more peanut butter, just say 'it doesn't work like that' and keep it moving. If the worst you have to deal with is someone not liking your towels, consider yourself lucky. This petty stuff is not worth the time it took you to vent on DCUM.

i think there is a difference between your own mom saying it to you, vs your mil.

why?
she's my husband's mother, not some stranger off the street

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ignore
ignore
ignore

+1

[Anonymous]

They sound insufferable.

FWIW, my parents say shit like this, too. My automatic response is, "What a great gift idea!" or "Would you like to pay for it?"

So, when MIL says "You need a SFH," the answer is, "I totally agree. Would you like to help with the downpayment?" Or when she says, "You need a nanny," DH should say, "Wouldn't that be wonderful? That would be such a great gift for you to give your grandchildren." (And all of these comments should DEFINITELY come from DH, not you. His mom, his problem.) She complains about towels? "Oh, I'm sure DW would love to receive some for Christmas."

As for the parenting advice (pierced ears on a baby? More peanut butter? WTF?), tune it out and ask someone to pass the bean dip. "How about those Nationals?"