Vent: Annoying In Laws

[Anonymous]

What is it with old people and peanut butter? Stuff is nasty. They sound like losers. Be grateful for the infrequent visits. Lord knows I am.

[Anonymous]

For the bath towels, do you use fabric softener? Fabric softener works by coating the fabric fibers with a chemical that also inhibits water absorption. Stop using fabric softener on towels. To get some of that off your towels, add a small amount of white vinegar to the next wash cycle for the towels and it will help strip that stuff off.

For the rest:
First time: Thanks, we'll think about that. Thanks for your concern.
Second time: Yes, you've said that. I said we'd think about it.
Third time: Have you had your hearing checked? I'm concerned that you may be having hearing problems. You might want to have a followup with your doctor.
Fourth time: Have you been having memory issues? We talked about this. Maybe you should talk to your doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP being a guest is hard too. If you know they hate your towels, buy 4 super nice ones and keep them just for guests. (that's what we do). I stay at my inlaws at least 8-10x a year and the towels, sheets, mattress and pillows are all awful.

OP here. They were complaining about the nice guest towels! The guest bathroom is used by my eldest as "her" bathroom so she picked out the decor. She has these really nice Martha Stewart towels with buckets and shovels on them. My MIL thought the buckets and shovels were pots and pans!
My only real complaint is that they were rude. I would never tell anyone that their house is small or that they are doing a bad job of raising their kids. They only come once or twice a year, which makes it almost worse when they say things about the kids behavior because they don't know the kids very well.

They are family, so they feel they can say s***, it's not that big a deal. My mom is great and sometimes she says the most off the wall stuff, I tell her she sounds crazy and then we usually end up laughing about it. Seriously, when people tell you off the wall crap like give them more peanut butter, just say 'it doesn't work like that' and keep it moving. If the worst you have to deal with is someone not liking your towels, consider yourself lucky. This petty stuff is not worth the time it took you to vent on DCUM.

i think there is a difference between your own mom saying it to you, vs your mil.

why?
she's my husband's mother, not some stranger off the street

there are plenty of things i think are in the realm of "acceptable comments and feelings to share" that are not appropriate for mil to say to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP being a guest is hard too. If you know they hate your towels, buy 4 super nice ones and keep them just for guests. (that's what we do). I stay at my inlaws at least 8-10x a year and the towels, sheets, mattress and pillows are all awful.

OP here. They were complaining about the nice guest towels! The guest bathroom is used by my eldest as "her" bathroom so she picked out the decor. She has these really nice Martha Stewart towels with buckets and shovels on them. My MIL thought the buckets and shovels were pots and pans!
My only real complaint is that they were rude. I would never tell anyone that their house is small or that they are doing a bad job of raising their kids. They only come once or twice a year, which makes it almost worse when they say things about the kids behavior because they don't know the kids very well.

They are family, so they feel they can say s***, it's not that big a deal. My mom is great and sometimes she says the most off the wall stuff, I tell her she sounds crazy and then we usually end up laughing about it. Seriously, when people tell you off the wall crap like give them more peanut butter, just say 'it doesn't work like that' and keep it moving. If the worst you have to deal with is someone not liking your towels, consider yourself lucky. This petty stuff is not worth the time it took you to vent on DCUM.

i think there is a difference between your own mom saying it to you, vs your mil.

why?
she's my husband's mother, not some stranger off the street

there are plenty of things i think are in the realm of "acceptable comments and feelings to share" that are not appropriate for mil to say to you.

Unclench Wench

[Anonymous]

- "towels, peanut butter, love to middle child, blah blah blah"
- (you, ignoring)
- "blah blah blah, why aren't you listening to me?"
- (you) "oh, you were being such a rude guest with your comments, I kept quiet to not make you lose face, but now I guess it's too late!" (big smile, walk away).

[Anonymous]

They don't see you guys that much, so they are trying to squeeze all their parenting comments into these short trips. My parents used to do that, and it drove me nuts until I learned to let it roll off me. Some people are criticizers, and it's part of how they show their love and concern. They feel like they're helping you out, giving you tips and showing you concern. It's maddening, but try to keep it in perspective, especially since you don't see them often.

Roll roll roll, make neutral, noncommittal responses, and ignore.