Need advice on prospective fwb strange behavior

[Anonymous]

Plus he can always lie to you and tell you he's only sleeping with you. You don't even know him! If you're truly concerned about your health, don't pursue a FWB in this way.

[Anonymous]

Friends with benefits are usually friends. This guy is a total stranger who is being super strange before you've even met. I'm all for casual sex but this has bad news written all over it. Also, there is no such thing as exclusivity with a fwb..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am new to the area and looking to experiment while being single. I joined a hookup site last weekend and started chatting with this hot guy. He told me the next that he lived about 40 minutes away and could only meet on weekends. I was cool with that. He initially agreed we should be exclusive for health reasons. Then changed his mind saying he wants the option to hook up with others. I said I didn't like the flip flopping and I am for health reasons, I don't want him to fucking everyone under the sun. He said he was willing to do exclusivity then.

I texted Monday evening to ask when to meet and we chatted for like 20 minutes via text. I didn't reach out again but he sent a pic to me on Thursday and tried initiating conversation but I was too busy to respond. I emailed yesterday morning asking if he was still up for this. I told him how I met another guy and I wanted to meet soon so I can make a decision. He seemed pissed and asked if I hooked up with him.

Hours later he drunkenly texts. He tells me how I am asking for too much ( exclusivity) and I'm coming on strong. How he decided this wouldn't work. Now I am a little annoyed because he agreed to exclusivity and I have been pretty low-key with not asking much. I feel like I am being strung along and wasting time because he won't meet me. After a few hours he tells me he wants this but only if there is no exclusivity.

I am a little confused by all this. This was my first attempt at casual and it's not going too well. What is going on with this dude changing his mind, asking if I fucked anyone else, and then saying I'm coming on too strong. I need outsiders opinions.

It was very obvious to me that you aren't experienced and that you absolutely need to slow it down if you are in fact intent on finding an exclusive and healthy FWB relationship.

[Anonymous]

What hookup site op?

[Anonymous]

This is not a FWB situation. You are not friends with this person. You do not know this person. This is a stranger hook-up. It's dangerous on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound like much of a "friends with benefits" situation. You're not friends, and why be exclusive if you're not actually dating?

[Anonymous]

Buy a vibrator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a FWB situation. You are not friends with this person. You do not know this person. This is a stranger hook-up. It's dangerous on so many levels.

This x1000. I've not really had too many FWBs myself, but from watching friends do it, this isn't how it works. You meet someone under normal circumstances (perhaps through friends, or at a bar, or even online) but you don't negotiate the sex before you meet - you wait until you know them a little, see if you have chemistry in-person, etc. and then things play out how they do. I think that way is also much safer.

[Anonymous]

You in danger girl!

[Anonymous]

You are on a hookup site. The people on the site want to hookup and hookup with a lot of people. Move on if you want something different.

[Anonymous]

There are just so many red flags in your post OP.

First of all, you state this guy is "hot." How do you really know he is the one in the pic....And not someone trying to imposter him?? Have you seen Mtv's Catfish program?

Secondly, you have never even met this guy. He could be a "she" posing as a "he" for all you know. Or worse, he could be some 110 yr. old pervert who is simply having a good time talking the dirty with you.

Finally, why are you stressing so much over a guy (or girl), you have never even met in person?? This person shouldn't mean a thing to you right now, however you are acting like you are being played and it is making you angry and frustrated. WTF?!

I say if you want to experiment and have fun, stay off these hook up sites.

Find a "real" person that you can actually talk to face to face and then go from there.

You might as well be communicating with a cartoon right now.

[Anonymous]

Fwb and this much drama????? What's the point? Just date like normal. The point of fwb is you don't have to deal with this head game Shit.