How important is it for your partner to get along with your friends & fam?

[Anonymous]

You've only been with him 2 months, so this will probably work itself out in the long run. Personally, I think that your gut is telling you that this will be a problem. Anyone that I've been smitten in the first two months have been pretty drama-free. Seeking DCUM advice for a brand new relationship doesn't bode well, but you have a child so you do need to think about this. How does he treat your child? Pay attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've only been with him 2 months, so this will probably work itself out in the long run. Personally, I think that your gut is telling you that this will be a problem. Anyone that I've been smitten in the first two months have been pretty drama-free. Seeking DCUM advice for a brand new relationship doesn't bode well, but you have a child so you do need to think about this. How does he treat your child? Pay attention.

you shouldn't introduce a man to a toddler after two months. it's bad enough for the child that the parents aren't together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've only been with him 2 months, so this will probably work itself out in the long run. Personally, I think that your gut is telling you that this will be a problem. Anyone that I've been smitten in the first two months have been pretty drama-free. Seeking DCUM advice for a brand new relationship doesn't bode well, but you have a child so you do need to think about this. How does he treat your child? Pay attention.

Excellent point!!!

[Anonymous]

I think it's important for my partner to "get along" with my friends and family, yes. but it doesn't sound like that's your issue, OP - your BF may lack social graces but that's okay...he's not bring combative or difficult, right? Unless people have been telling you they don't like him or have been butting heads with him...that might be more problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've only been with him 2 months, so this will probably work itself out in the long run. Personally, I think that your gut is telling you that this will be a problem. Anyone that I've been smitten in the first two months have been pretty drama-free. Seeking DCUM advice for a brand new relationship doesn't bode well, but you have a child so you do need to think about this. How does he treat your child? Pay attention.

you shouldn't introduce a man to a toddler after two months. it's bad enough for the child that the parents aren't together.

A toddler isn't so bad, it's when kids are older and have a sense of what's going on it that it matters. But I'm sure you'll find something else to judge OP for.

[Anonymous]

They don't need to be BFF, but they definitely need to be respectful and engaging with each other. Having common interests/shared activities is a plus.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like this guy doesn't go out of his way for anyone, including your kid.

Get ready for another codependent relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've only been with him 2 months, so this will probably work itself out in the long run. Personally, I think that your gut is telling you that this will be a problem. Anyone that I've been smitten in the first two months have been pretty drama-free. Seeking DCUM advice for a brand new relationship doesn't bode well, but you have a child so you do need to think about this. How does he treat your child? Pay attention.

you shouldn't introduce a man to a toddler after two months. it's bad enough for the child that the parents aren't together.

A toddler isn't so bad, it's when kids are older and have a sense of what's going on it that it matters. But I'm sure you'll find something else to judge OP for.

It's just sad that two people who cared enough about each to get married and create a child, end the marriage when the child is a toddler and that kid will never remember having two parents together. No mention of any abuse or addiction, but the we don't fit together I'm not satisfied syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've only been with him 2 months, so this will probably work itself out in the long run. Personally, I think that your gut is telling you that this will be a problem. Anyone that I've been smitten in the first two months have been pretty drama-free. Seeking DCUM advice for a brand new relationship doesn't bode well, but you have a child so you do need to think about this. How does he treat your child? Pay attention.

you shouldn't introduce a man to a toddler after two months. it's bad enough for the child that the parents aren't together.

A toddler isn't so bad, it's when kids are older and have a sense of what's going on it that it matters. But I'm sure you'll find something else to judge OP for.

It's just sad that two people who cared enough about each to get married and create a child, end the marriage when the child is a toddler and that kid will never remember having two parents together. No mention of any abuse or addiction, but the we don't fit together I'm not satisfied syndrome.

Isn't it better a baby/toddler than an older kid who will remember the split up? At this point, it's going to be the only life the child knows and their normal. They won't have to experience any drastic life changes.

[Anonymous]

OP, it can help to initiate this conversation, to your friends & family, in private:
Tell them you know your husband comes across as a know-it-all. And you wish he wouldn't. Tell them it embarrasses you.
That's all you need to say. But be sincere. They will decide if they can ignore for the sake of keeping their close relationship with you. If not, adjust visiting as needed. And you can visit along sometimes.
Often, as long as they know you know. And they know you wish it was different, they will cut you some slack.

[Anonymous]

This is a very complicated question. I'm no expert but I am married to someone kind of like you describe. My family, however, is full of in laws that the rest of the family doesn't *love*. IMO, it makes for interesting and varied group parties and vacations. My DH is very different from me and it took me awhile to realize that though we are married, we are still different people. Just because he's my DH doesn't mean that he has to follow my social 'rules'. I married him because he was different and helped me out of my comfort zone. But he's still a really good guy. It's not like my family doesn't like him because he is abusive or evil.

[Anonymous]

along=alone

[Anonymous]

OP here. Haha - whoa. I forget how these threads really take on lives of their own. So many conversations happening about stuff I didn't even bring up. I'm over it - it's really just new relationship jitters and I've got to be patient and ride things out. I'm just following up to say:

-thanks to those who contributed advice in spirit of helping an anonymous stranger on internet

- to anyone reading this who has a question of his/her own and is wondering where to go for advice - sometimes venting or asking questions to anonymous message boards can be really helpful. I'd say take everything with a grain of salt, but if you ask a question as honestly as possible, you can get some good advice. I actually got a lot of helpful feedback here when working through terrifying, gut-wrenching decision of whether or not to get a divorce, and things turned out really well. Ex and I co-parent, get along really well, have vowed to put our child first, and really believe child is better off having two happy divorced parents showering him with love than a pair sticking it out unhappily for the sake of the kid.

Good luck, everyone.