Is it disingenuous to get a new job when I plan to try to get pregnant with in 1-1.5 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW- men never ask themselves this question and if you married the right person his job will be impacted as much as yours.

That is complete BS. I, a man, decided on a lower paying 40-60hr week career instead of investment banking because I want to be part of my kids lives. Money and prestige are so overrated. I would rather die leaving memories and life lessons for my children than a few million.

PP is correct. There are some betas out there.

[Anonymous]

I mommy tracked myself, wasn't able to have kids, then stayed childfree. Point is, do what's best for you NOW because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

[Anonymous]

I am the one who made the original statement and I find it hard to believe that the majority of men are taking less time consuming positions 18 months before trying to have children. I do believe the situation changes for some men after the children arrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the one who made the original statement and I find it hard to believe that the majority of men are taking less time consuming positions 18 months before trying to have children. I do believe the situation changes for some men after the children arrive.

And it was a completely dumb red herring of a comment. The majority of women ALSO don't take less time-consuming positions 18 months before trying to have children. It was a dumb male-bashing trope masquerading as insight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mommy tracked myself, wasn't able to have kids, then stayed childfree. Point is, do what's best for you NOW because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

This is great advice, applicable to work and life in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry PPs but lean in is kind of bs unless you have a spouse that can be the default parent. Plus it's really hard to be a mom when you're traveling a lot and working 60 hours a week. Op - I mommy tracked myself by moving to a job with no travel and fewer hours and had my first about 18 months after starting For me it was a great decision. Most companies will not be surprised if a woman in her 30s gets pregnant.

It sounds like you might not have read all Lean In.

Op, don't lean out until you need to lean out. If/when you become a parent, you will probably change in unforeseeable ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pregnancy is no guarantee. And becoming a parent, when and if it happens, can change your heart and perspective too.

For now, don't count too many chickens before they hatch. You are presuming a lot.

+1
Your whole post is based on "what ifs" and your assumption of what it will be like. Make your choice based on your life now and make decisions as your circumstances change.
(And this is from a very part timer who could have never predicted my life now, no complaints!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the one who made the original statement and I find it hard to believe that the majority of men are taking less time consuming positions 18 months before trying to have children. I do believe the situation changes for some men after the children arrive.

It's the deliberately obtuse or exceedingly biologically impaired poster again!
Men and women are exactly the same feminism is so so tiring

[Anonymous]

Another vote to take the job that appeals to you now. Also, if you do take the less hours/less travel job, Your new employer likely knows to expect you to have a baby in a year or two. Last yr we hired a new mgr in my dept -- late 30s, been married a coUple years, just moved from a condo to a town home, and she was looking to leave a consulting job for one with less travel. Obviously she is setting up her life to have a baby. We still hired her and will be thrilled for her when she does get pg.

[Anonymous]

I would take the new job now. Since you aren't even trying yet, you will have some time to establish yourself before leaving for maternity leave and you won't have the stress of trying to find a new job or work 12 hour days with a new baby. We've also had several women in their 30s take maternity leave a year or two after starting at the company. It is not surprising the they generally stick around and are good employees who appreciate our family-friendly environment.

[Anonymous]

Take the job...I've been in this spot for years. Two early losses and a stillbirth later, I still have no living kids. If you do get pregnant, have an uncomplicated pregnancy, and deliver a healthy, living baby, then you adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree completely w/ the PP; don't mommy track yourself. Way too many women do this and it contributes to the wage gap. Decide what is best for you and your career as it currently stands. Once you have a child you can figure out what is best for you and your family.

+1. Don't shortchange yourself.

[Anonymous]

Check what the difference in infertility benefits are. If money is at all a concern you're at an age (I'm there too) where getting pregnant can be very expensive without benefits. Good luck in both!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the one who made the original statement and I find it hard to believe that the majority of men are taking less time consuming positions 18 months before trying to have children. I do believe the situation changes for some men after the children arrive.

And it was a completely dumb red herring of a comment. The majority of women ALSO don't take less time-consuming positions 18 months before trying to have children. It was a dumb male-bashing trope masquerading as insight.

Male-bashing?

I don't think the poster was criticizing men for not daddy-tracking themselves, nor was she saying all women mommy-track themselves. She was pointing out that women are more likely to do this sort of what-if-I-have-kids-someday career planning, and that they are unnecessarily putting themselves at a disadvantage.

[Anonymous]

You also dont know how long it will take you to get pregnant. I started trying when I was in a good place professionally and 2+ years later it still hasn't happened. In the meantime I took a much more "Lean In" position and am so glad that I did. Definitely don't pick the Mommy Track when you are this far out from the actual kid being here. You don't know what can happen.