I cry after play dates

[Anonymous]

OP, It is incredible that your child is getting the help he needs at two; that's twenty four months or so...you have given him an incredible gift. You must be really on the ball. It will be hard on you at times, but your continued engagement will make all the difference to him. He is so lucky to have you.

[Anonymous]

So, now I am crying reading all your encouraging replies. I know it is a journey and even though I cannot see you all, I feel your love and support.

I just needed a good cry (2am), supportive encouragement (thank you all!), and to spend the morning with my spunky little guy.

Thank you all. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

What works for me is to observe all the kids at the event, identify a couple of kids who seem to be kind and compassionate then get to know their parents (Exchange number/email). Then try to meet up in a park (or other neutral places), before having a playdate with just one kid. I find it important to get to know the parents first. One kid at a time to play with your kid (not 15!).

[Anonymous]

Praying for you OP. Being a SN mom is a tough job!

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you, OP! We've been on this road for a few years now, but I was thinking about the 2-year-old days yesterday when we had some old friends and their NT kids over to our house. It used to be painful to see them, even though we liked them a lot. Now (daughter's almost 5), I noticed a difference: the pain that comes with observing differences is overwhelmed by the immense pride I feel when I watch her. She works so hard, she's got such spirit, she's resilient, and persistent. Your son will hit milestones at a different rate, and he'll work for them, and the pride you'll feel will nearly burst your heart.

[Anonymous]

I cry at playdates because his social skills/flexibility make them so difficult. Then I cry at his NT sibling's playdates because they go so easily and well.

Hugs, OP!

[Anonymous]

Does your son seem to connect with any of these kids? Maybe you could do a one on one play date and build a friendship with one of the neighborhood families. One of my daughter's closer friends has developmental delays that result in him being a bit more aggressive than most, but the kids love their get-togethers and since I know a bit of what's going on with the kid, the other mom & I are on the same page about when we need to hop up & intervene. We're more "on the ball"/helicopter-ish than I would be on other play dates, but it's an easy accommodation, and the kids are happy to be together. The other mom says her child talks more around mine than others, so it seems to be good for his socialization.

If you feel comfortable with one of the families, could be worth establishing more of a relationship and sharing a little bit of where your son is at. Hopefully people would be supportive and welcoming.

[seekingtruth]

Hugs, OP, we've all been there. Sometimes, like when your child is doing really well, things get easier, and sometimes it just hurts. With lots of experience (!) I've learned to accept the feelings, acknowledge them and then go on with the activity. During that moment, find one thing that your child can do well and focus on that.

[Anonymous]

OP when DD was that age we never had good playdates and I cried more than I care to admit. In retrospect I wish we had never done a Mommy and Me program because it was like the mommy Olympics and I got so sick of judgy mommies staring at my kid with disapproval.

We continued ST, OT, playdates (as many as I could handle without losing my mind), and various other things and it got better. Fast forward to now (age 9) and I still have some dread with playdates and it's a lot of work and anxiety for me, but they seem to for the most part go fine these days. I've met some really great moms of both typical and SN kids and that has helped a lot too. I avoided competitive and judgy moms like the plague.

Hang in there. Things can get MUCH better!! I was feeling pretty hopeless for quite a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP when DD was that age we never had good playdates and I cried more than I care to admit. In retrospect I wish we had never done a Mommy and Me program because it was like the mommy Olympics and I got so sick of judgy mommies staring at my kid with disapproval.

We continued ST, OT, playdates (as many as I could handle without losing my mind), and various other things and it got better. Fast forward to now (age 9) and I still have some dread with playdates and it's a lot of work and anxiety for me, but they seem to for the most part go fine these days. I've met some really great moms of both typical and SN kids and that has helped a lot too. I avoided competitive and judgy moms like the plague.

Hang in there. Things can get MUCH better!! I was feeling pretty hopeless for quite a while.

Forgot to add, there was a child we knew in the 2 year old group who was a developmental superstar. The mom was braggy and got way too into my business. Fast forward to know and they are at the same school. My kid sees superstar getting pull-out with the SN teacher and speech pathologist and mentions it in passing-not like it's a big deal because IT ISN'T. The issues are probably different, but it goes to show that what a child does at 2 is not indicative of where they will be later on.

[Anonymous]

I cry b/c we can't get play dates.