Burnout-anyone else?

[Anonymous]

I'm a special ed teacher and feel your pain. I've only done a small walk in your shoes and can't imagine how hard it must be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a special ed teacher and feel your pain. I've only done a small walk in your shoes and can't imagine how hard it must be.

OP here. That is really sweet of you special ed teacher. I know your job is exhausting and I hope you have supportive parents this year.

I guess misery loves company because It helps to know I'm not the only one. I will say I can be in burnout stage and just someone showing they give a shit about my kid and they want to be collaborative makes me cry tears of relief. The worst is when I realize we have someone working with our child who really isn't on our side and who doesn't really get or even seem to like our child. At least if it's private practice you can just find someone else.

It's funny because the outstanding teachers and clinicians think I am easy parent because I write long notes of appreciation, praise them often, give supplies as needed and give giftcards for holidays and teacher appreciation week. I don't bother them much because they are on top of things. The sucky people working with my kid usually label me a high maintenance mom from hell before I ever get difficult. They get defensive with polite questions and clarifications that the good people take in stride and consider part of their job. I don't expect everyone to like us, but I do expect everyone to be professional.

[Anonymous]

My dc has a few school professionals who can't even conceal their dislike. It stinks, man.

[Anonymous]

I'm 17:48. Can i use this opportunity to reinforce that we need to try and keep the SN forum snark free? You can see from all the comments how much we need to support one another. I come on frequently to try and share what I've learned over the many years I've had of dealing with SN children, as well as my own problems. I've noticed some snark coming on and try to ask the posters to cut it out. If we all self-police, I think it will go a long way to keep this particular forum snark-free. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 17:48. Can i use this opportunity to reinforce that we need to try and keep the SN forum snark free? You can see from all the comments how much we need to support one another. I come on frequently to try and share what I've learned over the many years I've had of dealing with SN children, as well as my own problems. I've noticed some snark coming on and try to ask the posters to cut it out. If we all self-police, I think it will go a long way to keep this particular forum snark-free. Just a thought.

My guess is you are preaching to the choir. Haven't seen any snark on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Hugs to all you brave families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
YES! These past three days have been a nightmare.
Thank goodness for the 4-day weekend.

Which school system has a four day weekend this weekend?

MCPS has monday and tuesday off.

So does Arlington.

[Anonymous]

I am completely exhausted and burnt out as well. The isolation and daily stamina needed is a bad combination. Life is great when we are on school vacation. Thank you for sharing everyone.

[Anonymous]

Moms have super powers everyone knows that- so smile, wipe off those tears and you can do it!!! I know it even if for a few minutes you are not so sure. Xo

[Anonymous]

I've got a blasting headache, and I'm pretty tired of the turmoil and sense of failure. *this too shall pass*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 17:48. Can i use this opportunity to reinforce that we need to try and keep the SN forum snark free? You can see from all the comments how much we need to support one another. I come on frequently to try and share what I've learned over the many years I've had of dealing with SN children, as well as my own problems. I've noticed some snark coming on and try to ask the posters to cut it out. If we all self-police, I think it will go a long way to keep this particular forum snark-free. Just a thought.

My guess is you are preaching to the choir. Haven't seen any snark on this thread.

You made me smile. I have seen some nasty comments in response to parents asking for help. When that happens I try to say nicely that these parents are coming here for help or to vent and are fragile and ask that they stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 17:48. Can i use this opportunity to reinforce that we need to try and keep the SN forum snark free? You can see from all the comments how much we need to support one another. I come on frequently to try and share what I've learned over the many years I've had of dealing with SN children, as well as my own problems. I've noticed some snark coming on and try to ask the posters to cut it out. If we all self-police, I think it will go a long way to keep this particular forum snark-free. Just a thought.

My guess is you are preaching to the choir. Haven't seen any snark on this thread.

You made me smile. I have seen some nasty comments in response to parents asking for help. When that happens I try to say nicely that these parents are coming here for help or to vent and are fragile and ask that they stop.

It really is sad when anyone kicks someone when the person is down. We can disagree with eachother, but there is no need to be cruel. I am glad that you remind the trolls to play nice. Fragile and vulnerable is right. Some days I feel strong as an ox and other days I think I'm barely keeping it together. It's not one thing or another, it's the cumulative stress that can really ware me down.

[Anonymous]

OP, I had a mild breakdown last week, feeling what you're feeling. I'm slowly pulling myself back up. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 17:48. Can i use this opportunity to reinforce that we need to try and keep the SN forum snark free? You can see from all the comments how much we need to support one another. I come on frequently to try and share what I've learned over the many years I've had of dealing with SN children, as well as my own problems. I've noticed some snark coming on and try to ask the posters to cut it out. If we all self-police, I think it will go a long way to keep this particular forum snark-free. Just a thought.

My guess is you are preaching to the choir. Haven't seen any snark on this thread.

You made me smile. I have seen some nasty comments in response to parents asking for help. When that happens I try to say nicely that these parents are coming here for help or to vent and are fragile and ask that they stop.

It really is sad when anyone kicks someone when the person is down. We can disagree with eachother, but there is no need to be cruel. I am glad that you remind the trolls to play nice. Fragile and vulnerable is right. Some days I feel strong as an ox and other days I think I'm barely keeping it together. It's not one thing or another, it's the cumulative stress that can really ware me down.

Thanks. It really hurts me to see someone ask for help in SN, say, about homework issues or discipline issues and get back nasty comments telling the OP that THEY are the problem and that all they need to do is show some cajones and set up some ground rules and all will be well. THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT IS! For years DS had homework issues and we tried everything. Paid everyone. Paid testers. Paid shrinks. Paid tutors. Tried privates. Tried SN schools. Finally we got what I think is the correct diagnosis: Asperger's (yes, I know, someone will now correct me it is "in the spectrum" - yes, we all know that - that phrase does not convey what Asperger's is). Anyhow, the really really hard time I am having now is that having worked so hard for so many years to get DC all the right schools, the tutors, the counseling, the IEPs, the private schools, that he is having great difficulty transitioning to college . . . and I think he is giving up. (And I gave up "my brilliant career" along to run a household with two SN kids and am too old to be employed back in my field). I think he may just have gone as far as he can go and I really have to step back and face the reality that my DS may be dependent on me for life. I had hoped and prayed for the ability to drive, learn life skills, handle emotions, plan for studying at the college level but it is just not coming together. When you see your cute Aspie kid at 7 it is one thing, but when they are depressed and not functioning well at 20 it is heart-breaking (yes, we are on meds and doing everything possible for him). Recently I had a close friend ask me after having had lunch with my DS, very bluntly, "Is Larlo OK? Does he need medication? His eyes dart around all over the place. He won't be able to get a job even at McDonald's". It hurt. And I had given her the diagnosis before but I find that most family members and friends really don't want to educate themselves. Or they think I'm exaggerating. My mother doesn't want to believe the diagnosis and keeps chirping at me how well Larlo is doing. Larlo is not doing well. And it's sad. Sorry for the vent. I just so appreciated OP for starting this and am having a rough Saturday night feeling sorry for both him and me, the other child and DH

[Anonymous]

OP, we can relate, too. Sometimes it's really hard to cope when one gets overwhelmed by the big picture. All I can say is that others do understand, and know that your efforts have enormous value.

You haven't really asked for advice, but if you'll indulge some, it's just to remember that even small progress is good, and that kids don't develop in a straight line -- it's two steps forward, one step back. Don't get demoralized by the rough days, and don't waste mental energy comparing your child to anyone else's. Good luck!