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OP,
Set some basic ground rules with your DH about iPad usage/times, e.g., don't allow iPads at the table. Then stick to them. Pre-K and K is very to distract and change behaviors. You're there too, so you can't just blame your DH. |
| You might be surprised at how effective 'out of sight' really is. I just put the devices away when I feel them becoming the default entertainment. I'm also clear with my six year old that if she loses the ability to entertain herself without a screen, drastic action will be taken, like no tv or tablet for a month. |
If your problem is your husband, the your kid's problem is both of you. |
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We were having the same issues with our 4 year old so we just got rid of it. It's been a few weeks and you'd be amazed at how well they adapt and find and rediscover their toys and creativity. Best decision we've made in a long time!
He used to have his own iPad and iPhone that were handed down from us but now he doesn't ask for them anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. |
| We put the iPads away while the kids are awake and only use them after they are in bed. This only works because our oldest is only in preschool. |
+1. Blaming it on your DH is about as weak as it gets. Be a parent. |
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We have an 8 year old and 6 year old here.
They get 20 minutes of iPad 3x times a week, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Eldest will get some time on the computer to do his math homework and every six or eight assignments they give him a simple math 'game' as a reward . They don't really watch TV but probably get 15-20 minutes a week where they watch Youtube videos on the smart TV, usually when we have something like a kitchen or work disaster that requires us to sort out and we need them to be peaceful. DH is an app developer, so there are literally a half dozen iPads and Android tablets around on his desk, but he is very strict about keeping them away from the devices. Not sure if he is too strict as many of the kids' classmates have their own devices at this age. |
There is nothing wrong with watching tv, just like there's nothing wrong with the IPAD. The problem is when you rely on these things too much and then there are other things that don't happen, like talking to each other, imaginative play, daydreaming, reading, etc. So I have a plan that I will discuss with my husband and see if I can get him on board. M-Thursday we will allow any device for an hour when we get home. Frankly, I need a little time to decompress after work and get dinner started and I know the kids need a little decompression too. Then for the rest of the night, all devices, including parent phones, will be put away for the night until kids are down. Assuming I can get husband on board, we will talk to the kids during our vacation next week and we will also get the kids involved in writing a list of things that we can do instead of the IPAD so I don't have to hear about being bored. |
Look, I don't know why you are so concerned about getting DH onboard (I assume that he also sees this as an issue). BTW, I'm a father of a 4 year old. I also don't know why you and your DH have to put your devices away (it helps but not necessary if you're not glued to them). The iPad/iPhone was causing problems in our house so we just put it away and out of sight. DS has a lot of toys and books and I was surprised how well he just migrated to them full time. It's not a huge undertaking that needs to be planned and discussed. You make the decision and take action. If you make it a big deal, then the kids will see it as a big deal. Just make sure they have other things to do and you might have to deal with the whining for a few days...then it will be over. |
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I wonder how different in terms of psychological health and cognitive development is to spend an evening playing puzzles on the iPad (or some other game that has an paper and scissors equivalent in real life, such as "dress up" dolls), as opposed to doing it the "old fashion way".
Or, on the other hand, is it really different if parents are distracted because of their electronic devices or because they spend their evenings reading books/newspaper/silly magazines (such it might have been 20 years ago?). Is e-distraction worse? |
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We are/were in that boat and decided to change the rules. We started a system where DD (4.5) can earn "bucks" for doing good things. Great day at pre-school, getting ready in the morning, going to bed well, etc. She can spend her "bucks" for ipad time or other prizes. The iPad time can't be used when we otherwise had prohibited it (i.e. during meals, before getting dressed for school, etc.). It has really cut down on how much she watches because she doesn't want to spend her "bucks". We are also more diligent about keeping track of the time she is watching when she is paying for it. Timer goes off and she turns it off, or pays an extra "buck" if she complains, and it still goes off. It seems to be helping her behavior (the rewarding of the "bucks") and the iPad time. It also allowed us to sneak in a few new rules about when iPad isn't allowed.
We have only been doing this for about a week now, but it seems to be helping. |
| My DS had his own ipad since he was about 3 (5.5 now), I am not OCD about the ipad use, but if i think he has been doing it too much I simply ask to turn it off after whatever show is over. He does it without whining. What I have noticed is that since we dont limit the use of electronic/TV er se, he is not even that interested in them. He can watch a show on ipad or play/draw after school and 90% of time its not ipad. The downside it that taking the device away is not a good threat at my house. |
| I confiscated it, shoved it in a drawer, and it was forgotten. But now DH gives DC his phone. Dunno how I'm gonna confiscate the phone. |
Uhh, what? Wi-fi is everywhere, with or without you using an iPad. Do you have a wireless router? Then wi-fi is all over your house. Do your neighbors have wireless router? Wi-fi is all over your house. Do you walk down the street? You are walking through loads of wi-fi signals... |
| I dont own an ipad. My children have leap fron games that they get to play a few times per week. |