I feel like a wounded fertility warrior -- WARNING: This post talks about a successful pregnancy

[Anonymous]

OP, only very young and insufferable can truly enjoy the bliss of not realizing that the proverbial shoe may drop at a moment's notice. Even people who never knew you struggles get very anxious if their friends or relatives lived through negative outcomes of any kind. Once you realize the nature may very well fail, there's no going back.

Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a year of back-to-back IVF treatments and lots of physical and emotional stress, I finally got pregnant. But I still feel so shaken that I'm not fully enjoying being pregnant.

For example, on DCUrbanMom I read the infertility forum and the not the forum for expectant moms. And I still think about the infertility treatments a lot -- the daily shots, the morning sonos, the despair.

How do I stop feeling so insecure and fragile and shaken?

Your identity is changing. You went from "infertile and struggling" to "mom to be." That's awesome, but scary! Changing identities is always scary! It's okay. It's going to be great.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. Hope you get to enjoy the pregnancy soon. Once you get planning the logistics (nursery, registry, etc.), I think the happy reality will start to replace some of your old trauma.

[Anonymous]

Umm. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy. I was nervous the whole time. I don't think you are unusual. You'll forget all the angst when that little baby is in your arms. It's a game changer in ways you can't imagine until you are there.

[Anonymous]

Me too OP. i am 33 weeks and still nervous. The only thing that keeps me sane, is the suckiness that comes with my dad being diagnosed with stage 4 small cell carconoma the same time we found out I was pregnant. I dont have time or energy to lose my shit over the possibility of pregnancy loss, I am just trying to survive and take care of myself and enjoy the time left with my dad. The women in prenatal yoga make me crazy but I go for relaxation and in the hopes that some of their naivety and joy stick to me.

[Anonymous]

Congratulation OP Send us some baby dust, to all us who is still trying.

[Anonymous]

Five rounds and 2 miscarriages before a BFP that stuck. I didn't leave the IF board until second trimester except for specific Expectant Mom questions. And, DD is now 1 y.o., and I still visit here to answer questions etc. I honestly don't know when the pregnancy turned into a likely baby instead of just waiting for a miscarriage...but we got a false alarm of bad news from our 18 week blood test, and all of a sudden I realized I had finally started to think the pregnancy would succeed.

We are, to some extent, wounded IF warriors. Scars like these don't vanish...but it does get easier.

Congratulations!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me too OP. i am 33 weeks and still nervous. The only thing that keeps me sane, is the suckiness that comes with my dad being diagnosed with stage 4 small cell carconoma the same time we found out I was pregnant. I dont have time or energy to lose my shit over the possibility of pregnancy loss, I am just trying to survive and take care of myself and enjoy the time left with my dad. The women in prenatal yoga make me crazy but I go for relaxation and in the hopes that some of their naivety and joy stick to me.

I just want to say I'm sorry about your dad. I hope everything goes well with your pregnancy. You deserve joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a year of back-to-back IVF treatments and lots of physical and emotional stress, I finally got pregnant. But I still feel so shaken that I'm not fully enjoying being pregnant.

For example, on DCUrbanMom I read the infertility forum and the not the forum for expectant moms. And I still think about the infertility treatments a lot -- the daily shots, the morning sonos, the despair.

How do I stop feeling so insecure and fragile and shaken?

Your identity is changing. You went from "infertile and struggling" to "mom to be." That's awesome, but scary! Changing identities is always scary! It's okay. It's going to be great.

Yes! So true. Congratulations, OP.

[Anonymous]

My son is TWO and here am I am, still lurking about on occasion. :-\ Dealing with infertility is a profoundly life-changing experience, and pregnancy and childbirth don't erase all that came before. Like everyone else here, I would just encourage you to feel what you feel and to be kind to yourself.