Help me with this -- is DC special needs or just unmotivated?

[Anonymous]

OP I would have her tested. The concern that a diagnosis will give her an "excuse" seems odd to me. Presumably that process would not go like "You have a learning disability, that explains your bad grades, you might as well quit trying because you'll never do better." It would be more like "You have a learning disability, this means you have problems with X, Y, and Z, and here are some strategies you can learn that will help you with those specific areas." Or, you find out she doesn't have a learning disability and then you have ruled that out.

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP. I agree with previous posters who suggest getting your DD tested. I learned at 16 that I had an undiagnosed LD. I had always been a high academic achiever but started to fall behind in high school. My self esteem started to suffer. Learning that I had an LD helped me understand why I was falling behind when I was working hard and trying my best. I'd still be able to go to college and succeed academically, but I would need to study longer than my classmates and find work arounds to access the information. If your DD does have a learning issue, knowing what it is may help her feel less frustrated and more willing to try in school with the right tools.

[Anonymous]

OP - I would not dwell on the past, but deal with the present situation. You owe it to your daughter to have her evaluated probably privately so that she will have a clear understanding of her strengths and weaknesses and the recommendations which will help her deal with any areas of weakness. Then, you will have the information in hand to go to the school division and to request an IEP be put in place for next fall which sounds like it will be her junior year in high school. Or if strategies are recommended that you could provide privately, you will have time to locate the providers and start using them over the summer if remediation is needed.

To be clear, you are really dealing with her future if she wants to go onto the college of her choice and then even beyond that. If she has a struggling record in high school that will limit college options. And it is well known that colleges expect detailed information on the disability for any accommodations requested. Besides giving her the best academic opportunity in the years ahead, you also want to keep her personal view of herself as positive as possible, too. Discovering she has learning needs or differences and the reason why she has been struggling will go a long way on both accounts.

[Anonymous]

OP - this sounds like our DD. We had her tested at least four times since homework starting behind troublesome. The testers were all over the place: maybe ADHD, high I.Q., slow processing skills; no ADHD, exec. functioning. Every tester and shrink had a new set of $$ recs and services to sell. I finally found a good tester, asked for blind testing (told him he could not see earlier testing or teacher's comments) and we finally got the correct diagnosiss which was then asperger's. Now an adult, the diagnosis is spot-on, but it was hell getting there. Please find a good NT tester - should be at least 3 days of testing and about $3K and find out what is going on. It could anything from vision issues, to reading problems, to adhd, to exec. functioning, to slow processing to something more serious like autism disorders. You owe it to her. She'll only get more depressed. Some kids respond beautifully to anti-depressants and ADHD meds - others not, but you have to start somewhere. Good luck